I want to share with you 4 very important life lessons that were reinforced for me over the last year.
These are truly foundations for our happiness and success.
While I've had these reflections individually many times in the past 10 years, recently all 4 have culminated together for me and it feels like they're now written in the cells of my body, singing out to be aligned with and honored!
And as you might know, if you've been with me in our community for a while, whenever I feel this deep pull from within to write a message, it's usually because the message is not just for me and my benefit, but rather also for you.
So let's dive in to these 4 VILs (Very Important Lessons). ?
VIL 1. Do Only What Resonates
Resonance is a feeling you get, telling you that something is good, aligned, and right for you.
The opposite of resonance is dissonance, meaning you feel something isn't aligned.
Too many people navigate their lives doing things that do not resonate, in places that are not resonant, with people who don't resonate with them.
If we make our choices about what we do in life based on our thinking mind alone, we can end up in all sorts of trouble and dissonance like this.
Instead, we need to notice what we feel, what RESONATES when we are making our choices about work, money, relationships, health, lifestyle and more.
If you want to live a soul-aligned, optimally successful (happy) life, then:
- Pay attention to how you feel about what you do, any paths ahead of you and opportunities that arise.
- Listen to those feelings – what/who is aligned with you, and what/who is not?
- Stop living your life by “I should…” and start living by “I choose…”
- Say yes to what resonates, and with empowerment politely decline what does not.
VIL 2. Be in a State of Ease
As you go about whatever you do, personally and professionally, it's all about HOW you do it.
Too often we race around in life in such a hurry to get things done, resisting life, aggrieved by things that bother us, frustrated by unexpected situations and people that seem to distract us from what we would prefer to be experiencing.
We may push ahead and force with strong, intentional energy to “get things done” and achieve our goals, but to what end?
Are we sitting there at the finish line feeling ragged and worn? And/or have we left a trail of issues behind us, paying a price in our health, relationships, finances or lifestyle because of the way we have been operating?
If you want to have a happy life then:
- Recognize how it feels inside your body when you are at ease – there is a lightness to that feeling, a grace, a flow.
- Recognize how it feels inside your body when you are pushing, forcing, racing, resisting, stressed and tense – there is a very definite physiological difference to ease!
- Pay attention in your daily life to what you feel in your body – you will quickly start to notice if you're operating from a state of ease and grace, or from a state of stress and tension.
- Use breathing and a mantra to shift yourself back into ease in that moment. e.g Breathe in, “I choose to feel at ease”, breathe out, “All is well and I'm in my flow”
VIL 3. Remember You Can't Do Everything
Well, technically you can do everything you want (over your lifetime) but you most definitely can't do it all at once!
You can't please everyone, you can't be all things to all people, and you can't achieve all your goals in one go while also caring for your relationships, health, work and personal life. So you have to make conscious choices about what to give your precious energy to.
I recently read a wonderful book on Essentialism – the art of focusing on what is essential, and not getting distracted by the gazillions of non-essential things that call for one's attention each day. And my takeaway so far, which is so profound for me, is this…
There will be many good things you can focus on and give your time to. But there are only a small handful of GREAT things. To be most effective and successful, means deciphering the great from the good – saying yes to great, saying no to good…
I've previously had a major issue with this, struggling to say no to good things. It's like we're wired to say yes to all the good things in life. Good people, good opportunities, good experiences, good ideas. But there are actually many goodies! And we can't do it all. From experience, trying to do it all leaves you burned out!
So, if you want to be highly effective AND happy, then:
- Identify what is most important and meaningful for you to focus on
- Say yes to the great things that will help you live in alignment with that
- Say no to the good things, and not-so-good things that might crop up to distract you and dilute your efforts.
VIL 4. Every Path Has Both Pros and Cons
This final VIL is a little emotional for me, and it hit hard on a trip I took home to New Zealand a few months ago.
Over the years, I've made big, bold changes in my life. This has all been aligned to my intuition (and signs from the Universe!) guiding me. As part of those changes, it's involved travelling and living in various parts of the world as I grow in myself, align to my soul, and gather wisdom, and as a result being away from my family in New Zealand.
For someone who is extremely close to her family, it's been very hard to be on the other side of the world. It had been 4.5 years that I've been away so far, and before this recent trip home I hadn't seen some of my family in all that time! So I went home for a month recently, finally, and enjoyed weeks soaking up the love and hugs from the people most important to me. But… then I had to leave again of course, to return back to my own adventures.
And here is the very important lesson…
In saying goodbye, I was sobbing with such a deep, deep sadness in my heart. Yet, at the very same time, in every cell of my body as I bawled my eyes out hugging my parents and siblings goodbye, I knew what my intuition was telling me – to continue my path (even though my path leads me away from the physical presence of those I love).
When it comes to having an amazing life, please know that there is no perfect. There is only the choice of living your most soul-aligned path, whatever that looks like in any given moment, and accepting all that it gifts you and teaches you as you flow with it.
So, if you want to go big on your goals, and live the life of your dreams, then:
- Focus on your inner voice, celebrate the pros of your path, peacefully accept the cons.
- Such cons will exist with all choices. It's called opportunity cost. With one path chosen, all other paths are not. But rest assured your soul will always lead you to the life experience you are here on this beautiful earth to have.
- Leave no room for fear to reside in your mind. Trust yourself and remind yourself regularly of why you make the choices you do and why your goals are important.
- Keep it real – SOMETIMES THE RIGHT CHOICE AND DIRECTION CAN ALSO BE THE HARDEST. And this, my friends, is the colorful ride that we call life!