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4 Signs He’s Worth Marrying

Getting married is a personal choice and may not be for everyone. Each person creates the life and the types of relationships that resonate most with them. In this article we cover 4 things that provide a starting foundation as the basis for a healthy long term relationship (including for marriage, if that is something you want).

Please bear in mind the 4 points in this article are most definitely not sole indicators of a human being's value, nor of their suitability to be in relationship with you. This list is not exhaustive.

Every person is unique, layered, complex and a relationship has many factors to consider.

Some of these points might resonate as important to you, others might not. We're all unique, so take what works for you and above all else, be guided by your own intuition.

1. You hold similar core values

Bonding in a relationship happens at many levels – spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally.

To have the foundations for a positive, healthy, mutually beneficial long term relationship, there needs to be some level of alignment on the things that truly deeply matter in life… things like your core values and core beliefs.

While you don't need to agree on everything or see life in the exactly the same way, we're talking here about “core” foundational beliefs and values.

No one else can tell you what those beliefs and values are, as they are unique to you, and to the person you're in relationship with. But you will know! Listen to your intuition. You will know if you're on the same page with him or not.

2. You have friendship and fun that sustains

When the fizz and infatuation of those early days in a relationship starts to fade, you'll soon know if the person you're with is “the one” for the long term…

There needs to be friendship. There needs to be fun. There needs to be the ability to chat about interesting things that matter to you both. There needs to be a sense of partnership and companionship.

The person you're with long term needs to be someone you want to spend time with, you can laugh with, someone you genuinely enjoy CHOOSING to spend your time with. After all, you'll be walking this journey of life side-by-side and it's a LONG journey!

3. He is honest and trustworthy

Trust your gut instinct as to whether the person you're with, based on what you know to date, is someone you currently deem to be honest, and trustworthy.

We build that sense of trust with someone, and declare them to be honest, based on our experiences with them. ie. their behavior and actions to date.

For a long term successful relationship, there needs to be honesty and trust. That doesn't mean both people are perfect, it just means that honesty and trust are core values, and both people are doing their best to live by those core standards with integrity.

4. He's open hearted and mature

Is the person you're considering spending your life with an open-hearted and mature person?

What we mean by this is:

  • Is he mature in how he manages his own thoughts and feelings?
  • Is he mature in how he responds to your feelings, words and actions?
  • Is he self-aware and interested in growing as a person?
  • Is he willing to deal with things in life in a mature and responsible way? e.g disagreements/conflict, problems, challenges
  • Does he manage things in his life, including his relationship, in a way that shows he is caring and responsible?
  • Is the way he treats other people (including you) kind and respectful?

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Comments

307 Responses

  1. Sadly, a lot of ladies don’t find out that a guy has been lying his you-know-what-off until it’s too late. I only hope that the one gal I have in mind figures this out before it’s too late.

  2. I love this article!! and couldn’t agree more. and we hold out for Mr. 10, but forget that we might just be a 7 ourselves. I agree that these 4 points are the most important aspects. I have been married and divorced by 26 and I agree 100%. Core beliefs, Honesty, fun and remaining on the same team despite disagreements is so important. This blessed me today! Thank you Dale Partridge

  3. I really loved this article. I do agree that the man I am with is the one I should marry he fits all of these categories almost perfectly. My one fear is yes he has lied before, maybe 2 times and we have been together 4 years. Reading point 3 makes me feel like that is something I should be worried about. Thoughts anyone?

    1. I think you’re fine in the lying area! I would only consider it relationship-end worthy if its a reoccurring thing. Just pay attention and most of all trust him until he gives you a reason not to! (:

  4. Waited for my 10 and got him! Ten years of blissful marriage! This article is ridiculous. Having unrealistic expectations is one thing but settling for someone who doesn’t give you thrills is a waste of time. Make peace with who you are, love yourself unconditionally and don’t settle for mediocrity. This article is massively insulting to anyone single in their thirties who might be there for tragic or uncontrollable circumstances.

    1. Congrats! But I don’t think the point is to tell people to settle. “Mr 10” is out there, but I don’t believe its on the worlds scale, but more a perfect match for us. You have great tips! But I think the article is more trying to tell people warning signs, so if these things weren’t there, maybe don’t be afraid to keep looking for your match.

  5. Firstly, let me just say, the scale is very subjective. A 8 for you might be a 6 to me. As well, what is now a 10, might be an 8 in a few years, or even months, depending on your growth as a person.
    Ive been dating my boyfriend for 4 years, both of us were married previously and have kids, so it’s freaking hard work sometimes…
    But, he is my best friend, the one person I always want to share my everything with, we laugh together, cry together and sometimes have no clue where to go next, TOGETHER!
    Both of us have made mistakes, have hurt each other, but decided to work hard to ensure our relationship lasts.
    If you love your partner, enjoy their company and your willing to work hard, you can make it, regardless of the steps mentioned.
    The signs are a good base to start, but only the 2 of you can make it work…

  6. I thought I knew him, only to find out he was lying above normal, cheating and insulting me …I could only take so much. One day I sat down with him and I told him if he continues to be what he is..SELFISH, I WILL LEAVE!

    I told him I might be a woman and it might take time for me to get over him but what he does I can do…I can cheat if I want and I can lie just like him and insult him even better but I don’t …I have self respect, I respect him and I hope he can respect me as well…I then told him from that day what he brings in the relationship I will bring as well…He started coming home straight from work even lunch time and he did not stop insulting until I showed him I have a mouth as well..then he changed we have being married for 8 years now we have children and he is now with me as christians! For some they just need a wake up call…For some if there is hope honesty , even if it hurts him

    Be honest with him…don’t cry for him…tell him the truth. .remember if he walks out he would have walked out any way if he stay respect him while guiding him. Fight for the one you love…but don’t fight were you see there is no hope.
    If he loves you: he will change for you (stop lying and cheating )
    HE will appreciate your input…and walks away rather than to shout at you. do the same as well come down and be gendle.

    No one is perfect…Just tell him from the start. ..don’t wait for the ring…before the ring make it a point to tell him what you want in a relationship. Do to me what you want me to do to you! Hope things walks out …and prayers help as well..pray for him..pray that God makes him a better husband…A husband that will love and respect you and be honest with you..As for that I know God answered my prayer! God bless you

  7. Be careful. If he brags about his achievements and his wealth, you may be dealing with a conman ????

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