Last week, I wrote an article titled: 7 Must Do's While You're Single. It was my most popular post with over 250,000 views in one week. But there was one consistent theme throughout the comments: Loneliness – How do you deal with it?

This was tough. I scoured the internet looking for an emotionally mature answer. A practical solution. A truly helpful idea that I could offer my readers. But I couldn't. Sure, I found lists, dumb advice, and even doctors talking about prescribing medicine! But thank God for this lovely young woman Tanya Davis. She took the concept of loneliness to a depth I could not compete with. Her words are not only healing, but assuring. I hope this video brings you closer to creating the life you're made for.

How did this make you feel? How have you handled loneliness in the past? Share this post and let us know.

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93 thoughts on “Beating Loneliness: 100 Things We Must All Remember

  1. Jenn says:

    Love it!!! And so true–no one is ever really watching you when you’re out in the world alone because they are more concerned with themselves. Why let fear of another’s opinion stop you from living the rich full life you desire anyway? Solitude, like many challenges, becomes easier the more you practice. I do many things alone today that would have terrified me five years ago. For that I am grateful and so very proud. : )

  2. Jenny says:

    Makes me feel proud to be alone. For the first time I feel proud to be taking myself to movies and enjoying a dozen oysters while watching the Super Bowl at a bar alone. I know I won’t be alone forever but instead of worrying when I will find someone to share my oysters with I’ll cherish each one of them by myself.

  3. Abigail says:

    Really great perspective! As an introvert who has spent much of my life alone by choice, I learned long ago that being alone does not mean lonely & solitude is joyful if you want it to be. You posted this video at exactly the time I needed to be reminded of this. My heart is happy & I have a smile on my face. Thank you!

  4. Stu says:

    The video is soul soothing! I feel loneliness is special and you are lucky if you are alone. In the crowded environment you loose yourself and forget who you are. Loneliness helps you to connect to yourself. you can indeed search the all new you when you are alone. You get to know amazing things about yourself when you are alone. I enjoy being alone in my dreams and my thoughts!!

  5. Heather says:

    That video is a list of things to do because you are alone. This doesn’t help the mental part at all. The feeling of why me? Why haven’t I found someone to share my life with? These are feelings that haunt me every day and I don’t need a list of acceptable alone activities to deal with that

    • Cynthia says:

      Stop blaming and start doing! Why me is an attitude of not taking responsibility. Start taking control of ur life and your feelings. No one can make you feel inadequate but yourself. When you begging to appreciate you for you, only then will you become attractive to others. Walk with your shoulders back and you head high. Alone time is Time to put some effort into yourself. Time to say “I am good enough.”

      • Dale Partridge says:

        Great Answer Cynthia. Yes Heather. First off, I agree these feelings are hard. I understand. I promise if you get out there, the statistics support that you will find someone. Someone you love and who loves you. I’ll pray for that for you. Keep fighting πŸ™‚

  6. Julie says:

    This is exactly where I am right now! After ending a 5 year relationship, I am embracing aloneness and it feels fantastic. No one is in my head but me πŸ™‚

  7. Kristine Marie says:

    I absolutely love this. So much so that I watched it twice in a row. I am married and happily so. I have learned to be alone because my husband is deployed. We have missed birthdays and holidays and soon valentine’s day. But it’s alright because I’ve learned how to be happy hanging out with me, myself and I.

    Thanks for sharing this beautiful video.

  8. Courtney says:

    Some people think it’s wierd, but I love being alone! This video was great and it inspired me and made me realize even more that it’s okay! I’ll be sharing πŸ™‚ Thanks for posting.

  9. Marlene Miller says:

    Being alone gives me the space to explore my emotions , to feel anger in a private way and to reflect on laughable situations. Loneliness is not always a bad thing. I’m not convinced I would ever make good marriage material.

  10. Lindsay says:

    Very timely post for me, so thank you! My boyfriend moved for a new job this weekend and won’t be joining him for over a month. This video was inspiring!

  11. Veracalifornia says:

    Thank you so much for posting this!! I’ve been struggling the last few weeks to find something positive to do with my cell phone instead of just meaningless Facebook- and that was one of the most inspiring things I’ve ever watched!!

  12. Erica says:

    It was a beautiful poem and it made me feel positive and actually a bit happy to be single a the moment. But the thing is that even though you are happy being alone, that happiness can’t compare to the feeling a person you are in live with can give you. Nothing compares to the feeling of love really.

  13. Ashley says:

    I don’t consider myself particularly lonely or even shy, but this video was still very uplifting and I will remember it when I am feeling lonely. Thanks.

  14. Carrie says:

    I as alone for many years. It was not fun every single moment, but I enjoyed most of it. Yes, sometimes I was lonely. But, I loved just doing what I wanted to do. Now I’m married with two small children and i can’t even use the bathroom alone. And there are three other people asking things of me almost all the time. I don’t mind it, but it can be stressful. As a result, I relish my small moments alone. The things I enjoy doing . . . well, I just don’t get to do them as often, or not at all right now. But then I think back to when I was alone and smile. I’m grateful I had that time, I’m thankful for my moments alone, but I’m also happy for what I have now, whatever it is that is happening in this moment. This was a great poem and a wonderful presentation of it. Thanks to Dale for sharing it and a HUGE thanks to Tanya for writing it.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Hey Carrie. I am totally with you. With the new baby at our house it’s very similar. I cherish alone time now πŸ™‚

  15. Jules says:

    The worst kind of loneliness is when you actually have a partner, but still feel lonely! Being alone, even feeling fully lonely, is much better than that. Much better.

    • Alone Together says:

      Couldn’t agree more. I’ve rarely ever felt lonely being by myself. Until, I found myself in a relationship that made me feel exiled from my own life and emotions. Separation from ones self is one of the worst kinds of loneliness.

  16. Ariel says:

    I do enjoy my alone time. I read, work on my drawings, & go out to dinner on occasion. I found this video inspiring and a great reminder to not get down about being alone.

  17. Christina Pan says:

    That was a wonderful video! Just in time to convince me to take myself out on a date this Valentines day!

  18. Josie says:

    sometimes when I feel alone I like to take myself out on a date because I know that I deserve to go to a show or have a dinner that I want to even if I’m alone. My family says that I’m weird for doing it, and sometimes it hurts my feelings, but going out alone makes me feel less alone than being in my room alone. I don’t think that there is shame in that.

  19. blinkforasec says:

    thank you! i feel too low for quite sometime now. i talked with my friends, my husband, but it felt too different. Somehow, i don’t think they understand me. but I’m dealing with it, alone. And yeah, it’s not too bad to be alone sometimes. πŸ™‚

  20. Michael Johnstone says:

    Wikipedia has a couple of descriptions of loneliness. One description calls it social pain defined as “a psychological mechanism meant to alert an individual of isolation and motivate him/her to seek social connections”.

    But what would cause feelings of loneliness when at the same time you’re in a relationship (as some people experience)? Could these feelings be due to a situation where one doesn’t believe they can act in their true nature and still be acceptable to the people they love and want to be loved by? Maybe some people haven’t accepted themselves and are looking for feedback from others to prove they are lovable and it’s this situation that causes feelings of loneliness when in a relationship.

  21. Rebecca says:

    Wonderful video, I reposted it. Everyone is lonely at times and so we are not alone πŸ˜‰ in this feeling. Thank you for sharing and caring for the world πŸ™‚

  22. Kales says:

    “If you are happy in your head, then solitude is blessed and alone is okay..” A dear friend of mine showed me this when I was going through a break up and trying to piece together old friendships a few years ago. That friend moved to Hungary that summer. Now about three years later, I am at another cross-roads. I asked God this morning to show me patience and positivity as I am finding myself so lonely during this time in my life. I found this blog and re-discovered this video. Answered prayers…writing this with tear filled eyes.

  23. Stephanie says:

    This is how I feel everyday. This poem gives me hope that it’s okay to feel like this. That I’m okay to be alone. Thank you for making my smile onto my face.

  24. Rachel Pate says:

    I saw this video for the first time a few weeks ago and, I have to admit, I was skeptical at first. By the end, however, I wanted to cry. Her message is lovely, uplifting and so hope-inducing. It’s a beautiful video.

  25. Candy says:

    This is a great morning inspiration. I don’t have a problem being alone but this puts it more in perspective.

  26. Sarah says:

    Dating someone in the military – being so far from the one I love and feeling like friends don’t understand what I go through is a very strange, lonely feeling. I struggled for a while but through prayer and patience it has really taught me to invest in myself and enjoy spending time with myself. I’ve really gotten to know myself better and I think I kinda like me πŸ˜‰

  27. MistaT says:

    Aprox. 5 years ago, my wife of 31 years divorced me. Yes, I struggled with loneliness for perhaps 3 years. It didn’t matter where I was, or if I was with friends, at church, out to dinner, or at the local coffee shop, or home alone.

    Then one evening the coffee shop was having an open mic nite, and I went. Lots of poeple there know me, and like me, and talked to me, but I was still lonely. That night as I went home I thought about my being lonely, yet sill surrounded by people that were fun, liked me, and enjoyed my company. I asked myself why was it then that in that fun situation I was still as lonely as I was alone at my home – Then it struck me.

    Loneliness has nothing to do with proximity – by that I mean being surrounded or not being surrounded by people has nothing to do with feeling lonely. So I thought about this more and I have concluded that loneliness is nothing more than a state of mind – that is all!

    It has been three years since I have had this realization, and in those three years, I can honestly say that I have not been lonely – net even once – yet I probably spend more time alone in this season of life than I have any other time.

    I have come to the place where I RELISH my alone time – “what its Saturday – and I have nowhere to go? YES!!! YAY for alone time!!”

    It reminds me a bit of what the Apostle Paul talks about in Phil 4:11 “.. for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” Not that I have learned to be content in all circumstances, but in the case of dealing with loneliness, I like to think I have a bit of a clue.

    Great video, and great blog!

  28. tanaya says:

    I am in my 20s. I have not really seen any real tragedy or been in some unbeatable crisis so far. But I have lost the will to fight. I cannot see the point anymore. And I cannot see how to go about it either. I do not see how to improve my life and how it will do me any good. Nothing seems to works while everything is servicable. We live in hard times and good, honest people are hard to come by. I do not know if this is some early sign of a strong mid-life crisis later or just way I am. But it feels good to share anyway.

    • Brooke says:

      Sometimes there doesn’t always have to be a point. People will convince you that you’re doing nothing if you aren’t improving yourself and life all together. When in actuality the freedom from that lie is realizing that perhaps in this very moment you alone, are not in need of any improvement. The wonderful truth is in fact very simple, life is good enough just the way it is.. right now.You are good enough just the way you are with or without affirmation from anyone else. Maybe we need very few good people in life in order to appreciate them all the more when they do come our way. Before we wait on a good friend to walk into our life, we must find a good friend within oneself. Perhaps you aren’t facing a crisis after all… Maybe you’re simply starting to realize life isn’t about waiting for some significant event to change us, but more so addressing the little things. It’s the small moments in each day that significantly and gradually change us. That’s what makes it all worth it.

  29. Wing says:

    This made me smile, for the first time whilst seeking guidance about being lonely and how to be happy with it. I feel inspired to do exactly that shown in the video. I will be where i need be when on that dancefloor with myself.

  30. The Real Answer says:

    Loneliness is the worst thing in this world, especially since many of us that don’t have a love life when many of your friends are all settled down.

  31. Ifa says:

    I love your blog! and so happy you posted this! i have always loved Tanya’s how to be alone! Cool work πŸ˜€

  32. Evan Brewer says:

    This is a video that I really need to see. I don’t know how many times I have watched. I have had a hard time with the me inside my head since the divorce. Being alone has not been easy. This video really serves and an inspiration. Thank you for sharing.

  33. Kate says:

    My husband left me twenty three years ago and I’m just as lonely today as I was then, even though I had six children to raise. I would drink to try and cover the pain. Sadly, it still bothers me today….

  34. Meant2B says:

    Thank you for finding and sharing this. I really needed this perspective as my heart is hurting and I find it depressing to be alone. This will help me show my face … to myself and SMILE!

  35. Danielle says:

    Gorgeous. Your voice is very soothing. I smiled, then I got sad and cried but it left me feeling better and I will definitely keep it in mind. Thank you.

  36. glenda lafont says:

    I’m a widow so that is a very lonely existence. I go to a gym, meet friends for lunch on occasion. But ;to really beat being alone all the time I’m writing a book and believe it or not my characters keep me company.

    • Sherina says:

      This is very sweet and it made me feel happy knowing that your characters keep you company! Wish you the best of luck with your book πŸ˜‰

  37. Lisa Kocsis says:

    I lost both of my parents this past year less than 6 months apart. Today I felt very alone and very depressed. This was a wonderful find for me.

  38. Rita says:

    Wow, it makes you look at being alone like an empowerment, giving you strength where you didn’t have it before…nicely stated..Thankyou…

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