fbpx

5 Things to Tell Your Kids Before You Die

There are certain things that we all need to hear, no matter how old we are, and we want to hear them directly from our parents.

Whether we're little ones, teens, young adults or grown adults… we're never too young or too old to hear these 5 important things I'm about to share with you.

Before we dive in, this article applies not just to parents! Maybe you are a parent now or you're planning on having children, or maybe you're a guardian, a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, or maybe you're a leader in your community where younger people look to you for empowerment.

What would our world be like if every day parents and role models were sharing these messages with younger generations…

1. Thank you – you give my life purpose and joy

There is nothing in life more valuable than the relationships we have with our loved ones.

These relationships bring purpose into our lives, and joy. The purpose of parenthood is unlike anything else, giving life to and raising another human being… brings a new level of depth and meaning to our life journey.

Tell your children this! Let them know the gravity of their value, purpose and meaning in your life, how much they have enriched your world!

2. I love you – every moment, including all the times I don't say it or act that way

People of all ages need to receive love and affirmation to support them on their journey in life, and it's super important to get that directly from parents or guardians.

Children look to their parents and immediate role models (guardians and grandparents for example) for bonding, security, safety, acceptance and unconditional love.

It's not enough to be loving. This world can be a challenging place, and each soul needs to HEAR the words, I love you.

3. I'm sorry – for anything that I've said or done, or not said or done that might have let you down

No one is perfect, and the ability to say “I'm sorry” goes a long way to building bonds and sense of security in a relationship.

While most of know this, we may not think about this in terms of the parent/child relationship. Most of the time we immediately think of children needing to say sorry for doing something wrong, or not meeting expectations, or being naughty. But what about when adults get it wrong?

When adults say sorry, it teaches children valuable lessons in humility, making amends, and forgiveness, and it also builds an deeper level of trust.

4. You're an incredible person – what I appreciate most about you is…

How good does it feel when someone praises you for some inherent part of your nature/personality?

It's a huge affirmation, a confidence booster, a wave of love washes over you.

By praising children, we cement the essentials for life… self esteem, self confidence, self belief and self love.

5. I'm proud of you – for who you are, no matter what you do

In a society that is built to condition people to strive to be more, get more and do more, too many children grow up thinking they need to achieve certain standards in order to be loved and in order for their parents to be proud of them.

Because social media, mass media, news and advertising are all working hard to condition young minds to become more, do more, get more, succeed, strive and look a certain way in order to be “good”, it's our job to tell the children in our lives that we are proud of them, full stop. We're proud of them for who they are as a person, no matter what they do.

Children need to know that there is nothing they can do or not do, say or not say that will make them less or more loved. They are magical just as they are.

This gives children the mindset and emotional foundation necessary to thrive in their life… so they can go out into life to creatively and intuitively follow their heart's desire to whatever they freely choose to be, do and experience in this world. Not for validation or acceptance, just for the joy of it.

Share This Story. Someone You Know Needs to Hear This.

An Email A Day To Brighten Your Way

Sign up now for everything you need to unleash your life! You’ll get my popular 400 Powerfully Positive Affirmations Audio download FREE to get started, plus regular inspiring emails, other resources and actionable tools to help you stay on track with mastering your mind, living consciously and soul-aligned.
Your privacy is our priority. See here for our Privacy Policy and Terms.

Comments

91 Responses

  1. As a single parent with chronic illness and working forty plus hours a week to support my two children; there were times I know I made mistakes but didn’t learn until later. What I told my sons was the truth, “I did the best I could, with what I knew or had, at the moment this happened; and I’m sorry but it was the best at that moment that I could do”. In other words to my children, as a parent, I don’t know everything and can’t do everything but I try to do the best I can with what I’m equipped with at that moment in time. In your lifetime when you become a parent, you too, will experience some of those same moments and just know now you will act on what you feel is for the best and well being of your child.

  2. I would say 6. Don’t just give gifts make memories and 7. Write letters (or notes, hidden in places you know they’ll find soon.)
    My mother never grew past her teenage years, and when I reached mine we had issues. I’ll openly admit that my mother isn’t perfect. I didnt learn how to study, or to really finish things that I start. But I will be the first person so tell you (loudly and with 100% certainty) that she was the perfect mother for me. No matter what I struggle with, I dont have to question whether she’s proud of me, if she loves me, if she’s glad I’m in her life. No matter how bad things have gone in my life I never have to look far for a positive thought because she taught me to pull them from next to nothing. I have a thousand memories of trips where we got lost and found something we’d never have found otherwise, memories of getting home to a party set up just to celebrate monday. She made sure that a smile is my most used expression. I grew up with a certainty and happiness in myself that many people never find, and if I ever lose it theres a box of letters in my cupboard reminding me that I’m strong, beautiful, that I deserve happiness and that life is ok.

  3. I would say 6. Don’t just give gifts make memories and 7. Write letters (or notes, hidden in places you know they’ll find soon.)
    My mother never grew past her teenage years, and when I reached mine we had issues. I’ll openly admit that my mother isn’t perfect. I didnt learn how to study, or to really finish things that I start. But I will be the first person so tell you (loudly and with 100% certainty) that she was the perfect mother for me. No matter what I struggle with, I dont have to question whether she’s proud of me, if she loves me, if she’s glad I’m in her life. No matter how bad things have gone in my life I never have to look far for a positive thought because she taught me to pull them from next to nothing. I have a thousand memories of trips where we got lost and found something we’d never have found otherwise, memories of getting home to a party set up just to celebrate monday. She made sure that a smile is my most used expression. I grew up with a certainty and happiness in myself that many people never find, and if I ever lose it theres a box of letters in my cupboard reminding me that I’m strong, beautiful, that I deserve happiness and that life is ok.

  4. This is the exact reason both my husband and I gave up our jobs and moved away from the city and settle for a much smaller income but MUCH more time with our son. We have 2 years left before he goes on to college and life changes again. There are only so many days/nights I have left to sit in my chair in a quiet house listening to my son play the piano or guitar and listen to him sing behind his closed bedroom door. Life is about moments. I wish I had learned this much sooner.

  5. This is the exact reason both my husband and I gave up our jobs and moved away from the city and settle for a much smaller income but MUCH more time with our son. We have 2 years left before he goes on to college and life changes again. There are only so many days/nights I have left to sit in my chair in a quiet house listening to my son play the piano or guitar and listen to him sing behind his closed bedroom door. Life is about moments. I wish I had learned this much sooner.

  6. Remember to tell your children that just as we (parents) were doing the best we could at the time, they did the best they could at the time also. When a person passes, people in their life feel regrets. The should have, could have, would have, and wish I hadn’t happens to everyone. As a parent and having lost my Dad recently there is always guilt even if it is not deserved/realistic. Release your children from this by telling hem in person or by a letter. Let them know that a loving parent would always forgive any misgivings or mistakes not intended to cause pain.

  7. My Dad passed unexpectedly when I was 7. I would give anything for him to have said any one of these to me before he left. Parents, please take this seriously. You never know when your time is up & even the smallest thing on your part (like something from this list or a letter for their 18th birthday) will mean the absolute world to your child when you are gone.

  8. I would have been happy just not to be told I was dumb, ugly, worthless, that I ruined her life, etc. or be constantly screamed at, slapped or had things thrown at me. Further adding insult to injury she refuses to admit to any of this took place. Decades later I still have days where I can’t stand the person looking back in the mirror. As an adult it doesn’t matter how many other people in my life say these 5 things, there’s a part of me that will never accept it because the people I needed I hear it from most Couldn’t or wouldn’t say them.

  9. Please excuse me, all these are good but I’d like to respond to “Trying” or anyone else who didn’t have much of a childhood.
    Dear Trying, You may never get the affirmation you needed from the parent with whom you lived. They may have lied to you, beat you, and abused you. You weren’t the problem, they hated themself. What they said to you is how they felt about themself. How they treated you was a lie.
    This next part may be hard to believe, but I will say it anyway. You are special. You are loved. Someone was there loving you through all those hard times. He came to give you a good life, a blessed life. His name is Jesus. His story is in the bible. I’m not talking religion, only a relationship. Give Him a chance. He will not disappoint.

  10. I tell my little man that I love him every single day and he says it back to me , I love you more mummy, I say no way, he says yes way

  11. I came from a family of eight siblings, 7 different fathers and a Mother who married 11 times. (I love my mom with all my heart).
    Determined to be a terrific Mom and wife and armed with all the skills of what NOT to do, I set off at the tender age of 18. I wanted nothing more than to be a Mom, bake apple pies, crochet, and teach my children all life’s lessons I had to learn the hard way.
    Two years after the birth of my third child, my husband finally confessed to being involved in some of the most despicable and hideous things imaginable. Devastated had no alternative but to leave the man I loved for the safety of my children. I was not only heart broken, scared and ashamed of what he had been doing, I was also ashamed of all the years I stayed with him hiding the scars and black eyes I received at his hand. I was alone had nobody to turn to and over 2,000 miles from where I called home. I packed my babies up ages 2,3 and 5, rag-tagged across the states in the dead of winter. we found a small place and I found a job, we struggled, but I had the skills to survive
    I never shared any of the horrid things about my Husband to anyone and during times when I thought the loneliness would certainly consume me, my children’s laughter sounded like an orchestra to my ears. Their music was all I needed to be assured I did the right thing, despite how many times I doubted myself. Dad managed to dodge child support until the last 5 years and even then he hid all the assets he and his new wife enjoyed. (She was one of the many people he had been, ahem, involved with while married to me). She also helped him hide their luxuries so when support was finally ordered it was for the utmost minimum (53.00) monthly. No health insurance. ( I took a second job sewing moccasins together at night so I could be home with my children)
    in 2004 My ex-husband announced to our children he was terminal. Being the compassionate children they were brought up to be, they left the state of Maine and traveled to VA. to help him, even though he had only visited with them as children a total of five times and that a was typically only an hour or two after multiple broken promises to come visit.
    Here’s kicker, is in 2009 he passed and my children worship his name as if he was Lord and my Daughter, my youngest child, named my very own grandbaby after this woman her Father married.
    The betrayal I feel is unspeakable. Any idea to help me deal with this? Am I just being too emotional?

    1. It’s ok to feel what you’re feeling! Also, the fact that your children are trying to find redeeming qualities in a man they haven’t trusted or felt loved by is really only their way of trying to love themselves, even the parts that they secretly worry might be too much like him. It’s not betrayal, it’s an effort to be ok with themselves.
      I was a child who dealt with this type of thing and my self esteem suffered horribly. So, it might seem strange, but part of my healing had to do with accepting and forgiving because that was a way to be able to love the undesirable parts of myself, because I feared I was messed up inside, and worse, maybe that I didn’t deserve to be loved because of it. Trust me, your children are very aware of the nasty traits of your spouse, but they also have to feel that there was something worthy of love within him so they can find themselves worthy too.
      They will never forget your sacrifices, though that remembrance might be overshadowed by the things I’ve mentioned above for right now. They may have been too little to fully remember how awful things were, but they will spend their lives remembering what you did for them in so many meaningful ways. The farther they get into parenthood, the more they will understand.
      I hope that helps. Good bless you.

    2. I am so sorry. You need to write a book. You write so well. Kudos to you. You should be so proud of yourself. You have not had it easy. Just keep forgiving but not forgetting. xoxo

    3. I feel there is something missing here. Why would your daughter name your grandchild after her stepmom if she had only met her a handful of times?

  12. Thank you all for sharin your stories this is for trying : there are so many similarties to our stories I was on of six siblings that were seperated into foster care the home that I went to at four years of age she was sadistic and emotionally abusive til I was 16 I have. Been able to forgive through Jesus name and will never forget the terror inside me I am a christian and wanted to say I love you be strong and you are not alone

  13. Bingo! My favorite point is for parents and teachers to say “I’m sorry.”
    Thanks for sharing your list.
    I hope you don’t mind I I pinned this post.
    Thank you, Malika

  14. You we’re right I was wrong……ugghhh. That says “you we are right I was wrong.” Should read You were right, I was wrong.

  15. Wonderful. Important to remember. Too often parents say or think that kids won’t remember when they grown up. Well yes they do! We can all remember some emotional scar from when we were kids.

  16. I can’t tell you what you have given me. I have been racking my brain for the right words and the way to use them to tell my children that I am dying. Although it will still be the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do… You have really found a way to reaffirm and to also share with my kids how much they were a huge part in the making of who I am and although the life and the love we know is being cut short, I can be put at ease knowing that they have the tools and the memories that will help them to be kind and caring with a good dose of humility now and all through their lives. Again… I thank you so very much. God bless you

Comments are closed.