Being judged by others can be a painful experience.

It's one of the few things that is guaranteed to evoke a seriously strong emotional reaction in most people.

That's because it hits the ego (and the heart!) hard.

The judgement of others can send us into painful feelings such as frustration, anger, hate, hurt, insecurity, fear or despair.

And being judged is actually unavoidable, right?

You can't control what other people think, say or do.

We learn all too quickly in life that everyone gets to have their own beliefs and opinions, and we can't stop them from voicing those.

Sometimes those beliefs and opinions will contradict our own.

And… sometimes those beliefs and opinions might cause them to tell us that what we're doing is “wrong” according to them.

So, how do we deal with being judged by others?

Life isn't about avoiding people who are judgmental.

Because the cold hard facts are… almost everyone IS judgmental!

Even you and me, from time to time! True, right?

We fall into judgement of others so easily.

And even when we're choosing to live consciously and doing our very best to be loving, sometimes our egos take over and we accidentally find ourselves being judgmental.

So rather than thinking it's possible to AVOID being judged by others, you're much better to accept that it happens sometimes, and equip yourself with powerful new perspectives to help yourself deal with it in a conscious, calm and detached way.

In this video about being judged, I'm sharing a personal experience of how I got triggered when a stranger judged me on a topic that really hit a raw nerve! And how I dealt with this and learned from it.

You can use this same approach next time you're being judged by someone…

How to Deal with Being Judged by Others

Being judged by someone? Remember - it doesn't matter what they think about you. It matters what you think.Click To Tweet

Tips on How to Deal with Being Judged

  • It's not about you, it's about them.
  • It doesn't matter what they think, it matters what you think.
  • You don't have to convince them of anything.
  • You don't need them to know the truth, you need to remind yourself of the truth.
  • You don't need them to accept you or the situation, you need to come to your own acceptance of yourself and the situation.
  • You can't stop them judging, so focus all your energy on detaching.
  • AND… whenever you get REALLY triggered by someone judging you, consider that perhaps you're so upset because it hit a raw nerve. That raw nerve might be something you were already feeling insecure about. If so, then someone's judgement is just LIFE SHOWING YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAL WITHIN.

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18 thoughts on “How to Deal with Being Judged by Others

  1. NATALIE says:

    This is quite refreshing and life affirming. After having been thru A LOT of adversity in my life, I am learning how to LIVE, again. THANK YOU!!!

  2. Malika says:

    Hello Bernadette
    I love your way of making us aware of what is pushing our ” reactive” buttons. It is very insightful. I appreciate all your teachings. It is priceless!
    But I have a question though, what do we do when we are working with colleagues who are difficult and judgmental? I find it very challenging to deal with, it is threatening situation because we want to secure our jobs by being accepted. I must admit I feel an urge to justify myself for a fair treatment…
    Regards
    Malika

    • Bernadette Logue says:

      Hi Malika, I understand what you mean. Remember – you need not justification. Your character, your energy, how you carry yourself, how you do your job… that SPEAKS VOLUMES. There is no need to dive into defense and justification, and often that only perpetuates the problem. Of course, some situations do require direct, calm, clear communication to address certain issues if someone is wrongly blaming you or saying your work isn’t adequate or that you’ve done something incorrectly. You can stand up for yourself with calm and confidence. Otherwise, it’s a case of letting your behavior and your results you create in your work speak for themselves. And to keep it real… sometimes it’s also a case of assessing where you work and who you work with, and whether it’s a good environment or toxic. Sometimes tough choices have to be made, in order to allow ourselves to find spaces and places that are positive for us to work in. All the best! Bernadette

  3. June says:

    So should I not explain my mental illness to my bf’s friends in hopes they’ll be more supportive and understanding and less judgemental of me?

    • Bernadette Logue says:

      Hey June, yes by all means take the time to connect with people that are around you and share with them where you’re at, particularly if they are people you trust and you feel that they’re people you are comfortable sharing with. Just remember, that some people will “get it” and some people won’t, so you have to still make peace with the fact that any inability they have to be kind or to understand is not a reflection on you at all. It’s just a reflection of their own paradigm and where they are at. I hope that helps. Love and best wishes, Bernadette

  4. Sue F says:

    Oh so good B! I now try and practice “No JADE” [no justifying, arguing, defending or explaining]. What you say at the end of the vid is so valid. If you know the truth, that’s all that matters. Saving this gem!

    • Bernadette Logue says:

      Thanks Sue. It’s a practice, right, some things still trigger me for sure, but I go back to my core truth as quickly as possible and live from that place. Heart led, not owned by the mind and ego! Big love, B

  5. Daniela says:

    I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am for you Bernadette and all you have shared with the world. Your meditations and videos have been life changing for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

    • Bernadette Logue says:

      Hey Daniela, oh that is so awesome to hear! I’m really happy to know the resources have been life changing for you. Thanks for being in our community and I look forward to sharing more with you. Love, B

  6. Miranda says:

    Thank you! Some of this I knew, but the way you explained it was so good and opened my eyes to a few changes I can make to be more at peace about a situation

  7. Sarah says:

    Thank you for this Bernadette. You’re so right about judgement only triggering you if you’re already raw! I’m usually very self-assured but I’ve been struggling with a situation this week and turned to an Internet forum for some advice, but I got horrifically abused instead! I was so upset I couldn’t stop crying and couldn’t sleep – were all these people right about me? But I’ve realised (from talking to people who actually KNOW me) that if I was such an awful person like they said, I wouldn’t have been struggling so much with the situation in the first place. The only real mistake I made here was not trusting myself enough on this occasion, and opening myself up to a throng of strangers instead (which actually shows how much heart I have – assuming the best in people I don’t know).

    I’ve learned a lot this week, and while painful, I can only grow from here – and that’s always a positive thing.

  8. Sylvie says:

    Thank you for sharing this InSite. I also on most time when being judged “It roles off my back”. I always thought this was me “avoiding or ignoring the situation”. I never saw it “I’m confident within that situation” . I can see so much truth to that and is most helpful in validating myself instead of invalidating. Thank you!

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