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15 Steps To Be Happy Again

If you've followed me long, you know I try to write on the stuff that matters. Forgiveness, Depression, Happiness, Purpose, Love, Relationships, and Heartbreak.

We all fall apart at some point. A boyfriend leaves you. A best friend dies. Parents get divorced. You know the picture.

But what concerns me most is after. I've seen too many people who break, stay broken. They never heal and because of it, they hold grudges, pain, and resentment. They lose the ability to trust. Even more important, to love.

But maybe people just need instructions. Not something complex, but something simple. After watching this short video, it clicked.

It's moments like these which should make us realize that life is really not that complicated. Sometimes we just need to get in the car. Grab some food. Listen to our favorite music and even do laundry. This is what life is. The key in healing is to keep going, keep moving and to not get stuck.

Video by Joshua Kang

 


This blog post was written by an independent guest contributor.
Author Name: D Patridge.

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Comments

48 Responses

  1. I don’t know what it means to heal. I know what it means to cope. There are some experiences that never stop being wrong and never stop hurting, though the sharpness of that pain will dull with time. At first it’s crippling, simple things like eating, going to sleep, waking up, doing chores, are a monumental struggle. Those things get easier with time and through persisting through the routine of it. I guess for me the question isn’t one of whether I will stop hurting, but rather what I do with that pain once normal daily function returns. Some people choose to bottle it up and become bitter. Others choose to use it to help others – to share their experiences with people who need to know that they’re not alone. The worst experiences in my life have given me two gifts – perspective, to know what things aren’t worth getting upset about, – and compassion, to better understand the struggles others might be going through and just be who they need. These things together are wisdom. A life without pain produces a very shallow person who treats lifes minor upsets with apocalyptic import and treats suffering with dim confusion. In the words of James T. Kirk. “I NEEEEED MY PAIN!!”

  2. Well for me it was spending time with friends, staying busy all the time, praying, reading and “spring-cleaning” in winter! 🙂

    The key is to decide to want to get better and to actually have faith that in time all will be ok and that life moves on and that we deserve better.
    good luck to all…

  3. Taking time out for yourself, but not going into complete isolation. Things take time and time heals for the better.

  4. well it’s hurt when this really happens. this happens on me one and a half months back. well sometimes i’ll still be sad tho. time is the only way to cure things. be yourself and live a better life! 🙂

  5. listening to music wearing my favorite fragrance and dancing then an ice-cream- then hug my cats!!

  6. 3 months ago my ex boyfriend ends our relationship of seven years, and he don’t give any reason, just left me. It was terrible for me. I was so depress for one week, I can bearly eat, do my work or even to get up of the bed. For me, this months have been the worst, but with the time I start doing my whole routine and new things. Sometimes I cry or I feel nostalgic for the past, but I feel better when I let go the bad things, when I cry about it. He never talk to me again, he just left and start a new life, so I said to me that it was time to start a new life for me too. In the moment I decide to cut the negative stuff out, that was the best moment for me. Like people said: things happens for a reason and always it’s for a good reason.

  7. I met this girl and we started talking for about 3 weeks. Everything was going pretty much perfect! To the point where we would call each other “babe” and “love” but we weren’t official yet although it felt official! We were talking all the time, then out of nowhere she didn’t respond as often saying that she was busy the whole day but I see her posting things on social media. Anyways I asked her what happened to us and how I’ve seen a change in her. She told me that she realized that she wasn’t ready to fall for someone yet! I don’t know how you go from practically being in a relationship to not being unsure! It was crazy because I fell for her within a couple of weeks of talking to her and it’s killing me that it ended the way it did.

  8. Great question! A few things that have helped me during a very long time or trial:

    Buy yourself a great bar of soap (like lavender goat milk) and allow yourself the luxury of a long, relaxed shower…, be sure to listen to music, choosing something in your happy repertoire (when I’m feeling blue, I’ll suddenly realize, a week later, that I haven’t been listening to music), call a friend, treat yourself to dinner at a fun place (you are special! It’s OK to treat yourself that way!), call a friend, journal, and… Yes, even, (especially!), when it seems hardest and God seems far away, pour out your heart to the Lord! I find it really helps if I just talk out loud, that way, I can’t get distracted by my own depressed or anxious thoughts. When I have disciplined myself and MADE myself finally just start, I find the hope and companionship I need so desperately, for He has been just waiting for me to come, all along. He cares about my every need, and knows the numbers of hairs on my head, the grains of sand upon the shore, the stars in the sky, each tear I shed. He made me and knows me like no other ever will, and cares deeply for every single sorrow that my heart grieves, no matter how big or small. THAT is the answer beyond all answers for me. But, WOW, sometimes it’s hard to start! If talking out loud is too much, writing out my thoughts in a prayer to the Lord helps, too. But of course, I can talk a lot faster than I can write, so if there’s a lot, or it’s complicated, praying’s the ticket. :). PSALM 119 covers the gamut of emotions and it helps to pray along with that when praying feels very difficult… And if you are in such deep grief that it seems impossible to pray, find someone to pray for you and with you. And get a hug!

    I am praying for those of you who are hurting, now. God be your comfort! May you know His love in very tangible ways, and feel it deeply very soon. Hang in there!

    A friend told me recently that, “God is bigger than the pain. He must be doing something we just can’t see yet.” I believe that with all my heart. (And there has been some big pain!).

    There’s light at the end of the tunnel, even when you cannot see it!!

  9. We have had four miscarriages. Two before our beautiful son, two after. The pain is… excruciating. There were days when the grief and depression were so bad I had to fight to get out of bed.

    My husband and I love each other and our son too much to stay down. We did small things… I swear to God, my changes were so small. It started with opening all the windows in the house, bringing flowers inside, playing music in the house, and petting my dog more. I’ve taken drives by myself at night, blasting my music, smoking, sobbing and screaming.

    It’s never going to go away. We lost babies we wanted so bad. We lost the future we had planned. But you move on. You find tiny ways to bring happiness into your world, ways to reach out to your spouse and the people in your life with kindness and love.

  10. The fact that you keep moving forward doesn’t mean you actually heal. Regardless of time or what you do, you never trust people again, you never put yourself out there the way you used to. You are never the same, you do not heal just because, you remain broken, nothing is the same again.

  11. I was going threw a divorce but we called it off in court yesterday. I am pregnant with my third. Because of our separation my kids and husband our forced to reside where they currently are until we can fix in court. My oldest begs to stay with me but I’m powerless. After spending the day with them and they go back I’m pretty angry and depressed. But I throw myself into my paintings, meditation, and reading. Focusing on what I love when I’m hurting somehow heals me. It’s hard to take the step to actually do it but once I have I feel at peace and more positive. Taking baby steps a day at time is what helps. Focus on the present.

  12. I’ve got a surgery coming up in a month and I’ve been stressed–only I didn’t realize it until it occurred to me that i had been angry with my family for a week straight. Stress sneaks up on me like that. My fix? Working with my hands. My sister and I got around to painting the kitchen and hallway and my tension and anxiety melted away. Instant relief! Knitting is also a great stress reliever for me as is singing.
    Why i think this works so well: We were made in the image and likeness of the Maker. It’s in our code! “Yet the making of things is in my heart from my own making by thee.” (JRR Tolkien)
    As for being angry, I can’t paint that away. A good apology is in order, to my family and to God, and I’ve got to make more of an effort to confide in others so it doesn’t creep up on me again.

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