Imagine a day where you talk to people without fear of rejection, where you confidently express everything you want to say.
If you lack self confidence right now, then it might be difficult to comprehend that possibility.
However, with the right habits to support you, the truth is you can improve your self confidence, overcoming fear and social anxiety in the process.
1. Practice Confident Body Language
Your body language represents what's going on inside you.
Studies also show that confident body language actually lowers cortisol, the stress hormone, and makes you feel much more confident.
By changing your posture you can change your thoughts and feelings about yourself.
- Practice standing and sitting up straight.
- Physical activity such as yoga will also help your posture.
- Pay attention to your body language when you are feeling insecure.
Notice – Do you try to make yourself appear smaller? Do you avoid eye contact? Are your movements more nervous and shaky?
Make an effort to improve your body language and it can dramatically help your self-confidence.
2. Develop A More Confident Voice
Your voice reflects your self-esteem just as much as your body language.
If you're afraid of disturbing others or feel too shy to assert yourself, you may speak with a quiet voice.
I used to have that problem.
When saying, “Excuse me,” to strangers while trying to walk by, sometimes they wouldn't hear me.
Studies show that the volume OF, and confidence in, your voice determines how people react to it.
In one of these studies a man drew a square on the ground and stood next to it. When he quietly told people, “please don't step on my box,” most people still walked right through it. But when he yelled assertively, “don't step on my box!” everyone nearby quickly avoided his territory.
Of course you don't need to yell for people to pay attention to you though. You can, however, make an effort to speak more loudly so people are more likely to listen to you.
Pay attention to when the volume of your voice decreases. It's often when people are afraid of being judged or rejected. Make an effort to speak more audibly in these situations. Speaking with a higher volume sounds much more confident.
3. Intentionally Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Your comfort zone encompasses all the activities you are comfortable doing.
When you develop daily routines, you might not even realize how small your comfort zone actually is, because you never have a reason to step out of it!
When a new activity causes you discomfort, ask yourself if the situation is actually harmless and if maybe you're over exaggerating the consequences of nonexistent embarrassment.
Every time you want to start a conversation with someone but instead run away, you're training yourself to be afraid.
These are crucial moments where you must decide to either develop a habit of self-defeat or self-confidence.
4. Focus on Your Successes
Write down your 10 biggest successes in life. Take a moment to appreciate everything you've accomplished.
Maybe some items in your list include overcoming a fear, graduating university, taking a class in something you were interested in, or winning some competition that was important to you. They could also be much more personal and emotional experiences that you've endured.
If you start paying more attention to the things you've accomplished, it helps you build more confidence because it builds a higher level of belief in yourself.
However, some people always focus on their embarrassments and failures. It makes them feel less confident as a result. Failures are just opportunities to learn and grow, they don't need to hurt your confidence, unless you allow them to.
With these 4 powerful habits you can improve your self-confidence. Adjusting your body language and the volume of your voice will help you feel more confident in social situations. Stepping out of your comfort zone and focusing on your successes in life will also help you improve your confidence by showing you how much you are actually capable of accomplishing.
Adam Rockman is a confidence coach and author of the best-selling book “Social Confidence Mastery: How to Eliminate Social Anxiety, and the Fear of Rejection”. His website Evolve To Win is dedicated to mind and body optimization for winning at life.