I have written before about why it's important to take the time to be alone, but how do we learn to enjoy our own company? In today's world, it's hard to like ourselves. Our days consist of being told through all forms of media everything we lack, so self-acceptance is hard to attain. How can we enjoy time alone when we don't know or accept who we are?
As a stay-at-home working mama, I've had to learn to like being with myself since I am the only adult around the majority of my time. I have realized that if I can't enjoy being with myself, the relationships around me suffer because I doubt the value of my contribution.
“When I accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me.” –Dr. Steve Maraboli
When I can enjoy being alone without the need for social media to approve me with “likes” and “follows” or for my phone to be full of texts and emails to remind me of my worth, only then will I truly receive value in my alone time.
My husband and I recently invested in a tower garden due to our inability to garden the traditional way. This form of gardening uses a hydroponic method: all the plants are placed in individual mineral nutrient soils that are separated into a plastic tower. Water is programmed to run through the tower every 15 minutes. The soil inside the plastic holders fitted into the tower are shaped like small squares a couple of inches tall and wide. The individual soils hardly look capable of bearing the elaborate root system of a plant.
Gardening in this way has been an amazing process to watch because it has taught me about being alone. I have planted gardens before that have been suffocated by weeds or didn't receive the right amount of water needed to produce and grow. But this garden represents how an individual plant can thrive when it is separated from the elements that set out to destroy. A single seed sprout grows and produces even while being confined!
I can't deny that we were created for relationship, and we all have an innate need to belong. But I also have seen that we are powerful, even when we are alone. My garden has become a great metaphor for my capabilities when I am receiving the proper self-care and self-love that I need to be the best version of myself.
What do you need during your alone time to become the best version of YOU?
Maybe you need to feel creative. So create in whatever ways make you feel alive. Don't create based on the end product, create for the process.
Does your body need some acceptance? Then stay away from the critical mirror and roll out the yoga mat, or gather your favorite ingredients for a healthy meal for one!
Do you need to feel loved? Take a walk down memory lane and pull out some keepsakes that remind you of your tribe and your favorite moments with them!
Or maybe you need space with your thoughts. Spend your alone time reflecting!
What is it that YOU need to enjoy your time alone? Tell us in the comments.