How to Stand Up for Yourself

Knowing how to stand up for yourself is important.

You might face times in your life when someone is treating you badly, or you're dealing with someone whose opinion contradicts yours and you want to make a stand for a different perspective aligned to your values.

And it's not only important to know how to make a stand for yourself or your viewpoint, but how to do so with positive energy, grace and without creating conflict.

In this Daily Inspiration video are empowering tips to help you make a stand in a calm and effective way, so your message has the power to reach the other person…

How to Stand Up for Yourself

With love, Bernadette

Related Resources for Empowerment and Dealing with Difficult People

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12 Responses

  1. When I stand up for myself….speak of fact and what is real. My husband leaves. He gets defensive and absolutely refuses to address some issues with his daughter (my step daughter). She is an adult (29) not a child. However, she has stolen from me, called me all kinds of horrible names and I have been nothing but kind and giving. He keeps trying to force me to gave a relationship with someone who CLEARLY doesn’t want one. If we can’t communicate and he can’t accept “what is” is it time to call it quits.

    1. Hi Linda, I was about to reply in writing here, but there is so much to ask and say! Given the nature of the situation, it would be far more effective to provide you support in coaching, as there are so many things to cover and factors to consider, and it’s a sensitive situation. If you need help please reach out to me via the coaching page below, and we can spend 1 hour and go through this together in depth to create a plan moving forward of how to address the situation. Warmest wishes, Bernadette https://www.bernadettelogue.com/life-coach/

  2. I keep getting asked about my partially paralyzed face from random strangers–and then it’s*all* they wanted to know about me, and just take off without even a “Thank you”.In a workplace situation I heard this question from a co-worker and let him know it wasn’t an appropriate question in the workplace, with the ADA workplace law and questions of this nature. He suddenly screamed “I don’t care! I don’t care!! you look weird!!” For some reason it was like “Ok, now I know how you feel ” and was able to let that go for what it was. In other situations, I’d like to be able to get the point across that I just wanted to be treated with the same respect for how I am and the same right to privacy as anyone else.

    1. Hey Mieke, thank you so much for sharing, and we appreciate you being here and offering your unique experience and insight. It’s one of the core fundamental needs (and rights) we have a humans on this life journey right… to be seen and related to for WHO WE ARE, not what we do, what we look like, what we own, etc And at the same time, to be treated with the same dignity, respect and privacy that we would afford to others. Sadly, the world is filled with many types of people, and not everyone gets it! It certainly pushes us to learn how to be in those situations and how to deal with such people with grace, to figure out how to communicate our points and come of it feeling empowered and positive. Not easy, but just wanted you to know I hear you and respect what you’re saying, and send much love. Bernadette 🙂

  3. Omg!! This is EXACTLTY what I needed. Thank you soooo much for reminding me of these truths and techniques. I feel I had been doing this in the past but somehow I forgot, I think because people wouldn’t do it with me, so I just learned to act like they did: attack, blame etc. (because I felt even more frustrated and like It doesn’t matter how I communicated) So I joined them ? but now I just ran into an issue where I made a new connection for work And after lots of personal work realized I didn’t want to be disrespected at work. This new connection brought that right up and challenged me to speak up. But because I was so afraid of causing more trouble (i didn’t remember how to peacefully and effectively communicate) I just walked away. I really do want to get back into communicating and speaking up for myself with peaceful assertiveness, so this is absolute perfect timing ! Thank you so much Bernadette !!! I really appreciate this. ??

  4. Thanks B, this is great. I always want to “defend” which I guess is a natural reaction. There are a few people I know who like to push my buttons so this information is very helpful. Baby steps!

    1. Baby steps indeed, we learn as we go, and we grow through these interactions. Anytime you feel like defending, just pause, breathe, and allow space, then choose. Often just the old 10 deep breathes before responding rule is very helpful! Love, B

  5. If after presenting my opinion, calmly and strongly to best of my abilities, they take issue with how I came off so “matter of fact”ly – where am I going wrong? Is it still coming off aggressively? Thank you!

    1. Hi Liz, great question. Here’s the question to ask in this situation “Is it actually a problem to come of matter-of-factly?” I would say, no that is not a problem. We have to be real about the fact that some situations aren’t gentle and loving and sweet. Some situations require a calm, clear, confident message, and a level of personal empowerment. If that means you come across as confident, factual, direct and yet still calm, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The other person may not like it, but just because they don’t like it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It’s okay to be strong, it’s okay to be upset, it’s okay to assert yourself, it’s okay to be confident, it’s ok to clearly and directly state the facts. Just check your energy. If you energy is forceful, upset etc in how you feel and communicate, then that will come across and doesn’t necessarily help. But being calm and clear, and strong in yourself, is not an issue in itself. Remember, you can’t please everyone, and having disagreements with others is a normal part of human experience. Does that make sense? And side note – well done you for consciously choosing to communication your viewpoint calmly and to the best of your ability. Love, B

  6. Thank you, B.
    You have brought much to contemplate, and many useful tools to work with on dealing with people who are rude, and/or disrespectful, and for those who probably just are not aware of how insensitive they come across.
    You are a blessing!

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