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How To Find Your Tribe And Why You Need One

“Be around the light bringers, the magic makers, the world shifters, the game shakers. They challenge you, break you open, uplift and expand you. They don't let you play small with your life. These heartbeats are your people. These people are your tribe.” – Danielle Doby

There are many types of friends. The fun one you call when you want to have a good time. The friend with a history who knows it all and shares countless memories of the good ‘ole days. The twin who has your same likes, dislikes, and interests so you never run out of things to discuss. And then there's the friend you can share your raw and messy heart with who loves you just the same in the end. We like to rate these types of friends and think that some are better than others, but the reality is, they're all good! Each of these friends make great members of a tribe.

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Tribe: A group of people with similar values and interests.

We all have a need to belong, and tribes offer us belonging. They are loyal, encouraging, and you feel good deep down in your gut when you are with them. You can show up and be real around them because they give you room for discovery and growth to become your best self.

Some tribes are big and are brought together by common interests but to establish a deep connection it's best to keep your tribe small and intimate. If you get caught up in the large tribes, it can typically turn into a popularity contest where people follow common interests, and the entire relationship is built on something that may not last. When you have a large “following”, you soon realize there are only a few who are dedicated, loyal friends, and the rest just jumped on the bandwagon. Think about people in your life who have stuck around for the long haul, and start there.

You cannot sit back and wait for your tribe to find you. Tribes need to be found. They don't all have to be in your same location. The virtual world gives you opportunities to look for your tribe anywhere in the world! For example, I have friends I have kept in contact with from a study abroad trip who live all over the U.S., yet we get together every year and pick up where we left off! In the meantime, we celebrate, laugh, and update each other about our lives through text and social media. We are in a tribe. Maybe you don't have relationships like that, but don't be afraid to give yourself time to search for them! Your tribe is your people. You're looking for a forever kind of deal, not a quick fix. And remember, the people you are looking for may be right in front of you!

Know what you're looking for because your tribe represents you–choose wisely. What types of character traits do you admire? What do you need from people in order to flourish? Seek out the people who make you a better person and who you find yourself naturally drawn to–there's probably a reason.

Don't be afraid of differences. The tribe I mentioned above couldn't be more different! We all have unique views of the world and different ways we express ourselves, but we love each member exactly the way he/she is! Having differences helps us grow. They have many qualities I would like to develop in myself, and I can learn so much from them. Be open to people you may not have thought about and invite them to sit around your table as you get to know each layer. They may end up being a great fit!

Remember, you have a lot to offer your tribe too. Give them abundant support, carry them through the hard times, and be in the front seat cheering them on during their celebrations! You can be confident they would do the same for you.

Who is in your tribe? Give them a shoutout!

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