new years resolutions

How to Find Greater Fulfillment in Your New Year’s Resolutions

New year. New start. New beginning. New Year’s resolutions. It’s the one time a year many people put into words the actions necessary to make their dreams a reality.

“To resolve”…

  • To find an answer or solution to settle or solve
  • To make a definite and serious decision to do something
  • To find an answer or solution to settle or solve.

Here we assume  that something, someone, or someplace is causing dis-ease in our life. There is a person, place, or thing that needs “fixing”.

When I lose 10 lbs, then I will be happy. When I get promoted, then I will be have value. When I find a mate, then I will be seen. When I quit sugar, cigarettes, alcohol, then I will be ready to begin.

It’s the infamous “normal”. When things settle down (the economy, my job, my relationships) and get normal again I will work out, be happy, make time for me.

These thoughts are based on the idea that:

a) Now is not the time to find contentment, balance and joy in life and
b) There is something inherently wrong with the present situation that needs “fixing” or “normalizing.”

To make a definite and serious decision to do something…

This is usually the content of the resolutions… how we will “fix”.

This year I will work out four times a week. I will quit sugar, alcohol, and cigarettes. I will get promoted. I will find a husband, wife, friend, mate. Then I will be happy.

Yes, working out will improve your health and enable a longer life, as will cutting the crap out of your diet. Getting promoted may increase your income and social status. Finding a partner will bring someone into your life.

But will these changes really create a lasting positive change in who you are?

Everything we hope to achieve, create, or do is composed of many variables, some within the context of our control and some completely out of our hands. Measuring the happiness and value of our lives based on accomplishing and realizing these goals and resolutions is fleeting at best.

All things change. Success can be taken away from you in half of the time it took you to get there. Life happens and we are forced to alter our plans and priorities.

Looking for everlasting peace, serenity, and contentment in the “whens” and the “back to normals” is like driving your car onto a frozen lake to watch the sunrise. We can see the beauty of the light kissing the day good morning, but any slight shift or change in our environment could cause the ice to crack and our superficial foundation for contentment cracks.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am an intention loving, manifesting mama. I work with intentions daily. I believe our thoughts contain a power as great as the sun. I believe asking for what we want from the universe creates a clear, direct link to the energy that surrounds and supports us as we navigate through life.

I also honor the fact that seeing my dreams come true requires an honest daily effort and commitment to that dream. I also honor that I am more, we are more, than our resolutions.

I used to wake up every day filled with agitation and fear, managing my way through the day. Today life still happens and conflicts arise, yet my reactions are different because I am different.

Within each of us is a fierce, unstoppable force capable of being, seeing, and doing what we desire.

Once we work through our shadows, there is good space for courage, creativity, and insight to flow. Small shifts create even larger shifts that begin to dramatically improve the quality of our lives, from the inside out.

“You go from room to room searching for the diamond necklace that is around your neck” – Rumi

A Reflection While Setting Your New Year’s Resolutions

  • What if this year we resolved to cultivate compassion, to explore the dark shadows in the cave of our hearts to heal?
  • What if we resolved to find real self-love that isn’t measured by our waistline or social status?
  • What if we chose to try our best every day to be non-judgemental and kind to one another?
  • What if we allowed ourselves to be fully who we are, flaws and all, and in that space created room for other’s to do the same?
  • What if we forgive and let go of people, places, and things we know to cause unrest in the heart?
  • What if we leaned into life’s challenges, accepting and receiving what life has to offer
  • What if were genuinely interested in what we can learn and how we can grow as life happens?

The reality is that there is no new normal. Life happening today is as normal as it’s gonna get for us.

“When” is now!

We create our own discourse by searching for external fulfillment, eyes forward, looking up and out for the solution.

The diamond necklace is around our neck. We are the diamond, the source of contentment, steadiness, and ease.

We only have to look down, look within, and remember that we are more than our resolutions. We are vast, brilliant, supercharged entities given the gift of an experience called life and powerful beyond our human comprehension.

For the year ahead, set your intentions, make your resolutions, and also find contentment within yourself. The diamond is there, we either choose to recognize it or we don’t.

Let’s all spend a little less time looking up and out for the answers and a lot more time  turning in and tuning into the internal intelligence and knowing that is the diamond, that is everything you have been seeking, that is you, waiting to be discovered, to be polished, and to shine.

Happy New Year Bright Lights!

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Article Author

Kim Smith

Kim Smith

Kim Smith is a sober mama, writer, yogini, and mermaid. She hopes to change the world by sharing her voice and her experience.
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