To be honest, I struggle with this. As a successful blogger and business person, I find myself feeling or acting like I'm more valuable than others.

But I'm not.

Every human life is worth exactly the same. And any action or behavior or statement that leads anyone to believe otherwise, is wrong.

Culture encourages us to discuss other people's faults. To tear each other down based on looks or the mistakes of our past.

But are we not human? Have we not failed as well? Is determining someone's worth not more than the clothes they wear or the scars on their life? It reminds me of a statement I've read in the Bible, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”

This video is a profound reminder of how much depth we miss when we judge those around us. Will you join me in reconsidering a stranger's value and, possibly, even count them above yourself?

Do you struggle with this? How will this change the way you think about people? Let me know in the comments below.


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62 thoughts on “Please Stop Judging People. Here’s Why.

  1. David Ramos says:

    That was a great video! You can’t judge a book by its cover – and you can’t judge a human by their circumstance.

  2. Linda says:

    I totally agree as well, really gives you something to think about doesn’t it?
    Thanks for the video.

  3. Colin Cody says:

    I have some problems with this. First, logically, judging people for making judgments is a judgement so logically this falls short. We human beings live in complex societies, judgments have proved useful for group survival for 1000s of years. When I judge someone, I do not condemn to hell, I only judge their actions, not who they are as human beings. We are NOT our actions (which is a conclusion a lot of homeless folks need to understand so THEY stop judging themselves unworthy). We could and to really help them SHOULD judge their actions, or otherwise, how can we help them? I have worked at a homeless shelter for 9 years, you better believe we try to dissuade them from bad behaviors, drug use, gangs, etc. Why? Because we JUDGE the behaviors that put them in our company were not of particular good use for them, their families or the culture at large. We pour copious amounts of love on them while we do this but to say judgments are of no use is really just sentimental miss-mash and of no real help to these folks whose lives are off track.
    I mean what is job training other than a judgement that this person is at present unskilled?

    • Michael says:

      I am guessing you are not one of those friends people go to when they need help and guidance. I hope that you can take a look at your comment in the future and see a completely different person. Helping people by judging them rarely works. People don’t take advice from someone who judges them, instead they take advice from someone who sticks through times with them. They listen to people who CHEER them on in the good times and CALL THEM OUT when needed. As a husband and a leader, judging my wife and peers would just leave me single and friendless. I do see where you are coming from with the addicts, but have you ever thought that they don’t care about pleasing YOU? So why would your judgment help them? If you actually became their friend and they felt like for once someone cared for them, maybe they would trust you enough to take your advice and guidance. Have you ever been addicted to anything? A drug addict isn’t going to say “oh no, this stranger is judging me so I am going to quit!”. Again, stop judging that person and love on them and THEN call out their actions and after that HELP them get into a recovery group. JUDGING GETS YOU AND THEM NOWHERE

      • Mel says:

        Michael,

        Thank you for this. Really, in the aftermath of Robin Williams’ suicide (which I realize was likely only one of many that day), you would think people would wake up. We truly never know what others are going through and your support or judgment could make a difference in a truly devastating way. I went through a horrible nervous breakdown a few years ago and if I didn’t have a few positive voices in the sea of judgment I faced, I probably would either be dead or in a mental institution. Personally, I prefer to encourage a person to do better than shame them. Here’s the thing: that person struggling with drugs or prostitution or any vice that lands them in difficult circumstances already knows they have a problem. The person whose life is spiraling out of control? She knows it. Having experienced both judgment/shaming and love, I am convinced it is possible to love someone to wholeness.

      • Colin Cody says:

        I understand your comment and I think you misunderstand mine. The video is requesting us to divorce this person’s homelessness from who he is as a person. His situation from his humanity. I am doing the same thing when I say a person’s actions are not who he/she is. The homeless that I know are so depressed about the bad choices they have made it leads them to think that not only they are what they do but also they ARE what they did. I do not believe that. And the love we pour on them, like I mentioned earlier, help them see that their behaviors are not THEM. They are precious sons/daughters of God, not their addiction, divorce status, their convict status, or their gang actions. Love the sinner, not the sins, so to speak. We believe strongly in the future path of redemption. Yes, and they surely know us for our love.

        But this idea that we don’t judge their actions is a real problem. Like there is not some standard of decency and health that we all, with dignity and respect ought to hold each other to. Some people become homeless by accident but they are a minority. For example, Tiger Woods ought to look at all his friends and wonder why none of them said, “hey dude, you are about to blow up your life.” In many people’s eyes, Woods would have been justified in saying “who are you to judge me?” Well, actions have consequences. And a friend would say that to Tiger, BECAUSE he loves him and wants to protect him and not give into this silliness that his actions are not to be judged.

        • Jeremy says:

          I agree on the part of judging people’s action and not then.Love the sinner,not the sin.I think that judging them for their actions is ok IF it doesnt affect your view on that person negatively and helps the person change for the better by letting them know of what you think they done wrong.The extent of ‘judging’ is different for each people so our take on this matter of judging will naturally be very different.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Have to say I agree with Michael on this one my friend! Thanks for sharing your perspective – that’s why I love writing, because I love to hear from the people who think outside the box.

  4. Ali C'è says:

    When I was a child I always wanted to bring homeless people home with me, let them take a shower, eat with my family and play with me..
    But growing up I understood that everyone makes his own choices 🙂

    • Jℴƽђúå Ç. Jℴђŋƽℴŋ says:

      Often times it isn’t wrong choices that leads to homelessness. There are many circumstances well beyond our control that play significant roles for many. Just think, around 40% of the chronically homeless suffer from mental illness – many undiagnosed and untreated. It sometimes appears that people choose it, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

  5. Mel says:

    Dale,

    Thanks for this. I am technically homeless, if you consider not having a home of one’s own or being on a lease homeless. I know I am literally one missed rental payment away from living on the street. And I have a professional degree. I got sick, blazed through my savings and am scrambling to get back on my feet. The past few years have been one big lesson in humility and in NOT judging people. I really thought your post was going to be about Robin Williams and valuing each other. Then I realized that is only a small piece of a much bigger picture. Thanks for the gentle reminder.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Wow Mel, thank you so much for sharing your story. Keep fighting the good fight brother. I know in some of the hardest moments of my life I’ve been able to see the clearest.

  6. Mary says:

    I have been struggling with this issue a lot lately. It’s easy to condemn others – family, friends, strangers – for harboring judgments. And yet well all do it, whether we are willing to admit it or not. I’ve come to learn (the hard way) that we must look towards changing ourselves before we can even begin to help others. Actions speak louder than words. And before we throw stones, we must first look inwards and judge ourselves.

    • Jℴƽђúå Ç. Jℴђŋƽℴŋ says:

      It wasn’t all that long ago that I held the belief that the majority of them just needed to get a job. Once I spent some time actually getting to know our homeless neighbors, I realized just how wrong I was.

  7. Robin says:

    I could be homeless if it weren’t for the kindness of family…your video brought me to tears…I am very aware and humbled.

  8. Shane McKenna says:

    Inspiring video, thanks for sharing Dale. I’m often inspired to spend time with homeless people and offer to listen to their story, remind them that they Matter & they are Important. I struggle to make time but again thank you for the reminder not to judge and to rethink the homeless. 🙂

  9. Miss Lay Low says:

    That video is a prime example of not really knowing a persons story where they begin or end. That video just teaches us that things are not what they seem sometimes. I agree with the idea of each of us being homeless because if you are paying rent or leasing or paying a mortgage. You are one payment missed from being homeless. Thanks for the eye opener.

  10. gretch says:

    the video gives us a something to ponder that everyone of us has its story to tell…and the kind of story one has does not depend on the kind of person who u were before, the prestige of ur job u had once…let’s not judge..humans should not judge…only god….

  11. Angela West says:

    The is so true the video nobody know what some else is going through in there life we have to think before we speak or prejudge someone the way each other look.. Thank You for sharing the video I am guilty of this s as well but God is working on me.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      As He is on all of us – we’re all a work in progress but we need to just keep moving forward one step at a time. 🙂

  12. Tatiana says:

    Yes it’s a good words – not to judge and think you are better than someone.We never know what is in the future with us.

  13. Signe says:

    It’s not about stopping judging people, it’s about starting to listen. Listen without consequence. No answer, no solution, just listen..
    It’s going to be hard, but I’m giving it a go..

    • Soul Dancer says:

      Signe, you just tapped into one of the most powerful tools to learn, laugh and love with more ease and grace! In gratitude I bow to you for desire to retire judging.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Definitely! Listening is very much underrated, and sometime I’m constantly working on as well.

  14. Dianne says:

    Enjoyed your video! I see people begging every day and even have seen children trying to collect funeral money on the corner. So hard to determine who really needs money and who is scamming. I still give them money because I can’t look away and live with myself. Breaks my heart.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Of course! It’s not up to us to decide what they’re going to do with it. If we’re feeling lead to give, we can only hope it will go where it needs to go. Sometimes being generous does more for our hearts than for the other person, too.

  15. Dressie says:

    I wonder how it came to this in America, then I remember company’s changed from pleasing the customers to embellishing the stockholders. If you are in the eastern part of the states you can watch the Market Basket saga unfold. These people are trying to stop the firing of their favorite CEO to save all that was right with the work environment and are holding on like grim death. The other side just doesn’t get it. But we the customers do get it., and have joined the boycott. These are the scenes that turn intelligent people out on the street and make them homeless. Hope the CEOS of those company’s sleep well because it could be you standing out there with a sign someday . Karma has a way of making things balance.

  16. Soul Dancer says:

    I published Pay Me What I’m Worth in 2006 in an effort to re-awaken the world to recapture an awareness that one’s worth is well beyond money, looks, possessions, etc. As more souls dare to engage the work in this workbook, more souls wake-up to the reality that no amount of money, power, possessions or passions will replace the joy, happiness and sense of fulfillment one experiences by being of service.

    Today, I pay people to wake-up to their fullest sense of worth. Tis amazing how FEW souls take me up on my offer.

  17. Jorden says:

    Many people judge their worth by what they do. This is incorrect. It is not what we do that makes us worth something. It is the other way around. We do hard things because we are worth it. With that view in mind, we are never ever a victim of our circumstances but the product of our own choice.

  18. Flora says:

    When you judge someone, it’s a reflection of how you feel about yourself, not about the other person. When you think you have more value than someone else, it’s a deep insecurity that surfaces about how much you value yourself.

    • Dewey says:

      If I judge someone as being a worthess piece of shit because they’re a murderer, or a rapist, or a child molester, it’s not because that’s secretly how I feel about myself, it what I think of people like them.

  19. Loreto Cheyne says:

    Thank you Dale, for making me want to be a better person. I’m working on not judging. And I’m succeeding. Homelessness is one of those things that rips my heart out. Last year on vacation in Chicago I met a homeless girl who was sitting on the sidewalk with her dog. After talking to her, I had to walk away & have a cry. Every day I give thanks for the many, many blessings I have, the comfortable life I lead. It’s not perfect, but it’s so much more than these people have.

  20. Created Well says:

    Wow – this is amazing. Reminds that once someone assumed all addicts came from terrible backgrounds and were from low-income families. I was working with addicts and those in the welfare system at the time and I looked at him and said, “You know, some addicts I work with are ministers and preachers and may live in your neighborhood.” We never EVER know why someone is where there are – whether the top or the bottom. The common thread is that we were ALL created well and to be loved. I pray that’s enough for us to change our views of one another – whether you judge based on socio-economics, race, age, ability, faith, orientation, body type, whatever…Underneath our best choices and our worst mistakes, we truly are the same and pursued by the same God!

  21. just a guy says:

    “Every human life is worth exactly the same. And any action or behavior or statement that leads anyone to believe otherwise, is wrong” very profound opinion. The world needs more bloggers to sit behind a computer screen spouting their certified knowledge. Where would we be without social media? Thank you for hitting the streets and making a REAL difference.

  22. lisa says:

    i love people if ur mean to me or someone i love i’ll try to figure out why but i’ll in the end figure you deep down still worth loving stop being big fat jerks to eachother dammit xox

  23. Nia says:

    I want to challenge anyone who comes across this post to make kits for the homeless. I started doing this a few years ago, particularly around the winter months. You fill a gallon sized ziploc bag with useful and edible items. You can find a lot of ideas online. I include protein bars and lots of other edibles, bottled water and juice, socks, hand warmers, emergency blankets (which are so super small all folded up), wet wipes, toothbrushes and paste, a card with info on places locally that could help… all kinds of stuff, too much to list. You’d be so surprised how much you can fit in a gallon bag. Then? Then you keep these things in your car, your back pack, whatever… and you actually give them to people. In person. To their face. Like they’re actual human beings… because they are. And I know it’s not a lot. I don’t expect it to permanently change someone’s life. But I can imagine that if I were in that position… little things and someone being willing to connect with me for a moment might remind me that I’m still a worthy human being long enough for me to find help to make the changes I needed in my life. I’ve heard a lot of stories of how people ended up homeless. And it really could be anyone. Addiction can strike anyone. Mental illness doesn’t care how much money you made last year or where you went to school. Divorce or death of a loved one can throw people’s lives totally off track. Your job might become irrelevant after twenty years and you may be so specialized in a now non-existent field that you can’t find a new job before you lose your house or apartment. Never believe that it couldn’t be you. And sometimes just being treated with dignity and respect is all it takes for someone to not give up. <3

  24. Hil says:

    Dear Dale, I just walked away from a heated conversation who made an ignorant remark about the Thomas Duncan, the Ebola patient who died in the US and it reads: How exactly did a guy living in a filthy shack in Liberia afford an international flight? Just sayin’. #Ebola #ThomasDuncan. When i was about to walk away from the conversation as it didn’t serve any good, i came across your article, i read it and shared it to the same person who made so many degrading comments. I hope he/she will learn a lesson. Thank you.

  25. Blaire says:

    I watched this twice. Whenever I walk past homeless people, or anybody I saw that needed help, I always thought, “Oh, there’ll be some other people that can help him,” I started crying. I’m not going to say how many blessing I have, or how bad I feel for those people. But after watching this, I realized that instead of walking past those people and thinking that same comment, or being with my friends and trying to act cool, I should have swallowed my pride and at least tried to help. I don’t know about anyone else, but whenever I walked past a homeless person, I would always try to ignore them, this may not sound very real to you, but I would always have to struggle not to cry. I would walk past them, and not even try looking, but every time I did that, I felt a rush of guilt and somewhat of sadness fall over me. We need more people like this in cruel world, and today, I discovered that maybe, after watching this, I’ll be able to become someone like this.

  26. BetterdaysLE says:

    The majority of homeless in our city are meth/heroin addicts. I’m afraid to approach them. How do you help someone strung out on drugs? What is the answer to homelessness?

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