4 truths you probably won’t hear in the self-help industry

There are 4 things I've learned on my 23 year personal growth journey that have supported me immensely during difficult times.

Plus they've proven to be helpful for clients in my programs and coaching over the past decade, where I focus on Transformation Life Coaching for mind mastery, conscious living and soul alignment.

These 4 things are particularly useful for people who have big expectations of themselves and of life, to help you stop pressuring yourself in this way, to instead listen to your inner compass and allow your life to flow.

Yet, as much relief and help it's been for me to know these things, I don't often see these 4 truths taught or talked about very often. So today I thought I'd share these in case they help you, as much as they helped me.

1. You don't need to have big goals to be successful.
2. You don't need to have many thriving relationships or community to be happy.
3. You don't have to know your purpose in order to live a happy or fulfilling life.
4. You cannot be happy in every situation, simply by choosing to be.

Not exactly the type of thing you see, hear or read very often, right?

Stop Pressuring Yourself

Here's what I've learned and what these statements mean…

1. You don't need to have big goals to be successful

Yes goals are great. They clarify your direction, inspire you and give you something to move toward that generates a life you love. But guess what? They are lots of successful people in the world that don't deliberately set and achieve big goals.

Really? Yes! Because what does “successful” really mean? To me that means being a good human being, having a good heart, doing things that matter to you and make you happy, and take care of yourself and your life well.

Goals just elevate your life to higher levels, but not being clear on what you want isn't going to stop you from having heart-centered success in your life.

Define what success means to you, and follow your heart.

2. You don't need to have many thriving relationships or community to be happy

Relationships are core to our life journey. No man or woman is an island. But you don't need to have a huge family, a lots of amazing friends, and a big community of like minded people in order to be happy.

Quality over quantity. You can have a small handful of people who are meaningful to you and with whom you feel seen and heard. That equals happiness. That supports a fulfilling life.

Shout out to introverts, highly sensitive people and people who don't dig lots of loud, social, full on human interactions… I see you and I hear you. Love your time alone, adore your animals, commune with mother nature… whatever feels good to you. We can have relationships with ourselves, with the earth, with blessed creatures… and that can be just as fulfilling as relationships with other human beings. You choose, it's your life, do what feels good.

3. You don't have to know your purpose in order to live a fulfilling life

I'm pretty sure statistically speaking that there have been a large number of human beings that walked this planet who at the time they died would have said they didn't really know their life purpose, but they had a fulfilling life.

Yes it is possible to identify key aspects of your life purpose. Yes you can live that purpose. You might be living your purpose right now and not even realize it.

But the point is this… trying to ensure you're living your purpose can stress you out if you're not sure what it is! If you instead focus on what inspires you, what life puts right in front of you (synchronistically crossing your path) and day by day you lean into what feels joyful and intuitively aligned for you, you're going to have a fulfilling life.

4. You can NOT be happy in every situation, simply by choosing to be

​​​​​​​Yes you can choose happiness by taking perspectives that support happiness. You can be grateful and invoke happiness. And yes happiness is a choice.

But we have to be real and grounded about the fact that happiness in some situation is not just possible nor it is appropriate. For example: diagnosis of serious health condition, losing a loved one, relationship breakdown, grief, injury, loss of a job, financial problem.

But you know what you can have? PEACE, in any situation, no matter what is going on.

When happiness is just a little too much of a stretch, inner peace will be right there for you. You can cultivate it instantly.

Peace is EVERYTHING. ​​​​

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4 truths you probably won\'t hear in the self-help industry

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