As human beings we crave acceptance and approval – to feel a sense of belonging and security.
It makes sense if you think about our primitive nature and history – the need to be in tribes/communities together, for safety and survival.
That seems to drive so many of us in modern life to go seeking approval and acceptance from others – be it our families, our friends, our work colleagues and employers.
Heck… we even go on social media and seek “likes” from complete strangers in order to get that sense of acceptance.
But here are the cold hard facts about living for the acceptance, approval or praise of others…
- Yes, it feels good (we all like it!)
- But, you can't guarantee you'll always get it.
- And as long as you're attached to the acceptance, approval and praise of others, you're also equally attached to their judgment, criticism and rejection.
The powerful truth that I've personally learned over the years is this…
- When people say nice things about me, that's lovely and it's just what they're thinking and feeling in that moment. It has nothing to do with me. It's none of my business. ????
- When people say unkind things about me, that's unpleasant and it's just what they're thinking and feeling in that moment. It has nothing to do with me. It's none of my business. ????
If you live by the praise of others, you die by their criticism.
Everyone is simply projecting their inner experience into the outer world – be that positive or negative, be that praise or criticism. To live your life at peace and empowered here are 2 TIPS…
- Don't take things personally – even when it's nice things (acknowledge the love the other person is expressing, and witness it with appreciation, but don't attach to it like an umbilical cord!). ????
- Don't go looking for people to validate, approve, accept or praise you – GIVE IT TO YOURSELF. The only person's opinion who truly matters is yours. From your own approval, the world is your oyster and you can enjoy the good and detach the bad, forever free to simply be.
To support you in breaking free of needing the validation and approval of other people, listen to this affirmations audio every day for 30 days. It will help to shift your mindset and energy away from that old pattern…
Related Resources to Break the Cycle of Seeking Approval
- What Others Say & Do is Not About You
- How to Deal with Criticism
- What to Do When Being Judged
- 32 Facts to Remember When People Don't Get You – free PDF guide download
- The Confidence Formula Workshop – a step by step process for getting unwavering, genuine confidence.
Bernadette Logue (known to everyone as “B”) is the Leader of The Daily Positive, a Transformation Life Coach and the author of 3 personal growth books – guiding you on how to master your mind, to live consciously and soul-aligned. To receive regular coaching resources and support, join B in EvolveHQ, The Daily Positive’s private personal growth membership and community. To find out more about B click here.