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The Scary Reality of What Our Culture Does to Boys

It took joining a one year group therapy course for me to unlearn and heal from the brokenness our culture has cast upon me.

It took role play, embarrassment, awkward stories, substantial amounts of crying, and humiliating levels of transparency and honesty to finally reach the surface of healing. To begin restoring a healthy definition of manhood.

In recent years, the study of negative cultural influence has been highly focused on girls, but as sociologist and psychiatrist begin to open the box behind what makes men, “men” they are discovering some troubling truths. It leads me to this compelling quote:

“Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?”

The video below articulated this so well. Within seconds you will be pulled in. By 1:15 you will be nodding your head in agreement and by 2:05 you'll see the masks our boys wear and the power behind them if we don't fix it.

My personal philosophy has been this: As a follower of Jesus, I've always tried to disconnect from who the world told me to be, and reconnect to what He said I am. Not what the church tells me, not what a pastor tells me, but what Scripture shows me. To recognize the generational impact my father's father's father and beyond has made upon me. To know that I am worthy, valued, and perfect just the way that I am.

 


This blog post was written by an independent guest contributor.
Author Name: D Patridge.

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Comments

41 Responses

  1. This is an amazing trailer i have a four year old son and itvscares me to death to think that someday he will think that it isnt ok to cry because he’s boy that he has to hold all in and that’s wrong i always make sure and let him know that it’s ok have feelings and get upset

  2. I hate that boys have to feel like this. It reminds me a little of the saying ‘you are who you are when no-one is watching’; we need to be more like who we are before we leave the house with our masks on.

    This is one of the benefits of having faith in God – as an Ahmadi, my dad always taught us to live by the Qur’an and to make sure we were following the teachings of God rather than the world.

  3. I hate that boys have to feel like this. It reminds me a little of the saying ‘you are who you are when no-one is watching’; we need to be more like who we are before we leave the house with our masks on.

    This is one of the benefits of having faith in God – as an Ahmadi, my dad always taught us to live by the Qur’an and to make sure we were following the teachings of God rather than the world.

  4. I am in college and currently studying this and it is so sad that we as a society are so worried about what others think and what is socially except-able that we are willing to change who we are. Majority of people don’t realize the impact that even just one simple statement can have on another person let alone the impact it has on our children who are looking to us for the answers.

      1. This is supposed to be showing that people should be able to be themselves without fear, yet you are criticizing Ashley because she misspelled a word. You should sow support for others instead of putting them down!
        God help YOU.

  5. I am in college and currently studying this and it is so sad that we as a society are so worried about what others think and what is socially except-able that we are willing to change who we are. Majority of people don’t realize the impact that even just one simple statement can have on another person let alone the impact it has on our children who are looking to us for the answers.

      1. This is supposed to be showing that people should be able to be themselves without fear, yet you are criticizing Ashley because she misspelled a word. You should sow support for others instead of putting them down!
        God help YOU.

  6. This truly made me sad! I will share this with people I know to spread the awareness and understanding. Thank you for sharing this!

  7. This truly made me sad! I will share this with people I know to spread the awareness and understanding. Thank you for sharing this!

  8. I’m a moroccan and i just wanted to say that, unfortunately, boys in our country are told the same things that were mentioned in this video.

  9. Without being too invasive, would you be willing to share the counseling group you were part of, or share recommendations? No pressure! Thanks! 🙂

  10. I think our culture should begin to value both principles, feminine and masculine, in our universe. We are a combination and when they are de-valued we as humans suffer. it seems like a fundamental or ancient truth, no?

  11. We should allow boys/men show their feelings and be accepting of that. Also, make the “be a man” when many don’t what that looks like and their trying to figure it out on their own.

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