My entire life I was searching for the love that only I could give. When I had this realization, it was so profound. The love I wanted was inside of me the entire time, and I could experience it anytime I wanted with no conditions. Here is what I learned, in the hopes that you find this love within yourself, too.
What You Want – Become it First
All the things we desire in partnership, we need to first become for ourselves. A conscious relationship has the ability to offer the deepest of self-work; it requires two people who are committed to their own expansion individually. This expansion starts within. The journey into this place in ourselves is one of the most magnificent processes we can experience as humans. To do this, we need to step into our power. Too often we hold ourselves back and sabotage our potential by going against what is most aligned and true for each of us. We keep ourselves in old patterns and outdated friendships because they are familiar; we allow ourselves to fall into a place of loneliness out of habit. The inner work to find what is in our truth and alignment requires us to sit with ourselves on purpose; not from a place of loneliness, but from a place of deep love.
Get Comfortable Being With Yourself in Quiet, In Your Own Truth
It is essential to understand how to sit within our quiet and in the depths of our truth. We have to be able to be with it, and not run. The more time we can sit here, the easier it becomes to make choices that are in truth for us. To do this, we have to make and prioritize this time for ourselves.
It is crucial for you to take the time to venture into yourself and your shadows and listen to the teachers of your soul.
Sometimes women find this difficult with the level of expectations on us from society, but it is not selfish to put yourself first and to find community around you to support this. As women, I believe it is important for us to have a community, to be in ceremony with each other, and to find a sacred family as we step into this place of power and truth. Only from a place of truth is real love born. True love doesn’t need anything. I believe true love is a state of being. It demands nothing; rather, it radiates out and warms those who come in contact with it, much like the sun warms the earth.
Let Go of Expectations Society has Placed on Love
We, especially women, have been taught from a young age to desire great love. I used to believe that this was all about finding someone who loved me in the same way I loved them. What I realized is that no one loves like I love, except for me. The magic of a kiss or the smell of another person is one of the most beautiful experiences we have; becoming this for ourselves first is the key to a conscious relationship. Be what you need, and then the rest is more magical and free. Let go of all of these expectations that society has placed on love. I believe experiencing and expressing love freely, from a place of wholeness, is the magic of life.
A Question to Reflect On
This is the moment in time where you can step away from the mundane and ask yourself this — what do I have waiting inside of me? Remember how to access it. There is no certain roadmap. Each person may follow a different template — find yours.
I wrote The Whole Method about my own path to oneness, but it isn’t about me telling you how to do things; it’s reminding you that you have your OWN method. Your way, the way which will bring you back to Wholeness. The method back to wholeness requires us to face all the parts of ourselves. The person you have always known you could be is waiting for you in the darkest recesses of your Soul.
Jump in there, dear heart. Your true potential waits. The time is now. You are more powerful than you will ever know.
- Daily Meditation for Self Love & Empowerment
- 3 Simple Self Love Practices
- How to Love & Accept ALL Parts of Yourself
Rhonda Smith is the author of The Whole Method: Leaders: Quiet the Noise, Blaze Your Own Trail, and Expand Into Your Full Potential and founder of The Expanded Hueman. To find out more please visit her website below.