We're talking about the energy of holding a grudge, resentment, judgement or negativity toward other people.
Where we might feel like we need to hold others to account, punish them, right the “wrongs”, instead we really want to step back and take a moment to understand the cost of this and what is really going on with that energy.
The more you understand your energy, the more you'll willingly forgive, let go, move on, and have intention to live in peace.
12 Responses
Thanks, B, this was really an eye-opener for me!
Thanks for sharing your wisdom and insight.
Glad it was helpful Schalk! B 🙂
I just can’t thank you enough for ALL of your videos and articles, B! You have helped me at a really difficult time in my life, so thank you a hundred times over! This video was especially helpful to figure out the payback I have been getting from hanging onto resentment. I’m going to work on letting go. And I definitely want to buy your book!
You’re very welcome! Glad the resources are helpful. Sending love your way, as you let go…. Bx
Dear B,
I am being punished, I don’t do this to others. But I am right now experiencing this from a mean really mean boss.
No matter what I do, how Hard I try, she perpetually hits me. I am suffering as a result because I am forever boxed.
The “pay back” is painful on me. I try so hard to deal with her with kindness yet she keeps putting me down.
Hey Rose, I hear you, and sometimes we do have to face the reality of a situation that a person is so toxic and bad for us to be around that we may have to leave the situation. Of course if we want to be there for other reasons and benefits, and it’s just this one person causing issues, we can do our best to resolve the situation by shifting our own energy and behavior, by having boundaries, by direct communication to raise and resolve the behavior, but ultimately we can’t control other people. There are times when after trying your best to make it work, and nothing changes, you have to simply walk away. You will know in your own gut if that is the case for you. I hope when you said she “hits” you, you were referring to bad communication, verbal, emotional and not physical violence. While the former (verbal and emotional) is also not okay, there is space to work on potential resolution through certain strategies or to walk away. If it was physical hitting, I would recommend you exit the situation immediately. With love, B
Thanks for this great video! Where can I find the link to your release/ letting go meditation please?
Hi!
Thanks for your message. Here are 2 letting go audio resources for you…
Letting go of everything that no longer serves you – https://www.bernadettelogue.com/affirmations-for-letting-go-of-what-no-longer-serves-you/
Letting go of past hurt, regret and resentment – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdgZs6Cp5Dc&list=PLS131uAq6EzXSSKiYuNqQyJJIC05BtHpS&index=4&t=0s
Love
B
Beautifully logical. I have a family who have been plagued – through the generations – with games of guilt, resentment, everything you describe. And still it continues… I wish they were horrible people, so I could just walk away. But they are good, decent people who can’t seem to escape the pattern. I’ve learnt to get outside of it, and stand outside of it and not make it my responsibility to try to sort it out (I have tried – exhausting!).
They are simply swirling around in past hurts and patterns set up over years and years. What to do?
You describe ‘missiles’ which is a great analogy! I see them as little ‘demons’ which poke with their little forks, encouraging bad thoughts and negative behaviour. Trouble is, trouble attracts trouble – one member of my family married a lovely man who still (now 66 years old) rants on about how his father beat him and his mother was a failure.
Will ‘save’ this vid – and, if appropriate, show it to whoever cares to listen. It offers such a lovely peaceful message. Thank you. x
A pleasure to share this video with you. May peace wrap around you. I’ve put a link below to another resource that I thought might also be useful.
https://www.bernadettelogue.com/dealing-with-difficult-family-members/
Love
B
I read the other comments and would very much like, if I may, to respond to one sent by Rose. A bit late as it was in January 2019. However – I don’t know her personal circumstances, or cultural background. Obviously, that makes a difference. Her boss sounds like a bully and I have many experiences of being bullied, and know just how devastating and disempowering it can be. I found myself in a relationship where I was being verbally abused, and, occasionally pushed around (though never completely walloped). It was a ‘wake-up call’. They say that bullying starts with verbal, then can move on to more sinister stuff. I found lots of good resources online, and bought a book: The Verbally Abusive Relationship – How to Recognize It and How to Respond – by Patricia Evans. Very useful! Explained a lot. One ‘method’ recommended was to hold up your hand like a policeman and say very firmly: ‘Stop!’. Then walk away (even just leave the building). It was scary, but I tried it – and it worked! As I said, I have encountered several bullies in my life – in my family, at work, and ‘friends’. The bottom line is: they are all hurt little children. You have to ‘parent’ them – never angrily, but firmly. Hope that helps.
Thank you so much for sharing your own experience, and this book and strategy that you found so helpful! I’m sure this will be useful to others that are here looking for support. Thank you!! Love, B