Many people don't know that I've been through hundreds of hours of therapy and counseling. In 2013, I paid $1,000 per month (for a year) to attend an emotional leadership course with some of the top executive psychotherapist in the county. Why? Because I needed healing before I could offer it to anyone else.

I struggl(ed) with shame, guilt, self sabotage, delusion, addiction, and even lying. It might sound crazy… but it's even crazier to not seek help. It was in this course where I found the tools and information to begin understanding what I was up against. The pains from childhood, the memories of betrayal in my early twenties, and the behaviors that have been passed down in my family for generations.

And then I read Daring Greatly by Dr. Brene Brown. Her findings of the connection between joy and gratitude were one of the most powerful takeaways of that year. It was my missing link, and apparently it was for millions of others too.

The short video below should completely change the way you think, the way you fear, and the way you appreciate the people and moments around you. It's a bit deep, so take it slow and pay attention. Maybe even watch it twice. 🙂

Do you often fear the worst and reject moments of joy because of it? Do you ever feel you don't deserve to be happy or maybe that you need to earn happiness? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

113 thoughts on “Are You Unhappy? Here’s Why…

  1. Julie says:

    Dale! I just watched Dr. brown on Super Soul Sunday thus last weekend: a replay of BOTH one hour sessions she recorded with Oprah. I also had recently watched her Ted talk!

    This post feels like it was written for me. Guess it’s time to read her book!

    Thank you for your impeccable timing!

  2. Joelle Srebinski says:

    Good thoughts Dale. I think it is harder for some people to be happy verses unhappy. I think it is a mainly a choice. I have had some thoughts of not deserving happiness over the years…mostly from guilt in some of the choices I made. As soon as those thoughts come about, I quickly remember that I have genuinely asked for God’s forgiveness and have not repeated the poor choices. I also tend to put things in God’s hands. I am categorized as being a very happy person. I actually was told by a terrible supervisor that I smile too much and I am too happy…can you believe that?!

  3. Anne says:

    This is speaking to me. I have a good life, but some things make me sad. All my kids/grandkids live out of town. Poor me. My husband has a cognitive issue. Poor me. Some days it gets me down. But I am learning – and this confirmed it – that gratitude gets me out of my funk. I start thinking of all I have to be grateful for – health, financial stability, the ability to afford to visit kids/grandkids whenever we want, and so on. I, too, think it’s time to read Dr. Brown’s book. Thank you.

  4. Gingersnap says:

    Just finished reading Daring Greatly after seeing her on Oprah. ..shes spot on as far as robbing ourselves of joyous moments throughout the day and our lives…

  5. Caio Blumer says:

    Excellent, Dale! I found myself in almost the same cave with my career, my job, the “non-purpose work” with marketing and advertising… I was with stomachache, headaches, and this same symptoms you described, so it was time to find some help.

    I’m still in the therapy but in the final line of it, and I’m really grateful for being there. It helped me a lot too, in the same way that you described, knowing better about myself and the “whys”.

    Now I work with the same young (and not too young) people that need some directions and have passed by the same moment, doubts and questioning that I had.

    Oh, and I’ve just put this book in my reading list, looks really nice! Thanks for sharing, man!

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Absolutely. Isn’t it crazy how our story is used to impact others who are going through the same things? Just reminds us we’re all in it together.

  6. Brittney Rickett says:

    Dale, I think practicing gratitude is very important, after all, if we have air to breathe then we are blessed! Being grateful, however, doesn’t get rid of or necessarily help you overcome hurts and problems from your past. You mentioned having issues from childhood and behaviors that have been passed down, and lots of people are dealing with similar problems. But these issues need to be addressed before the person can lead a ‘normal’ life. Have you ever heard of ‘Making Peace with Your Past: Help for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families’ ? It is a workbook by Tim Sledge. The book helps you work through the feelings that you mentioned above and overcome them. Through this book you will identify ways the past affects you in the present. There’s even a chapter on overcoming the fear of joy, just like that was mentioned in the video. It’s an awesome book and I am so thankful for it. It’s recommended to do it with a group, but you don’t have to. I highly recommend this book!

  7. KJHall says:

    Very powerful. Hearing this helps put other people’s behavior into perspective for me. “Why did he do that? What made her react that way?”. The blanket statement/answer is usually “they were scared” – but this is a more granular definition of what ‘scared’ means. Thank you for sharing!

  8. Lisa Otto says:

    Good morning! I look forward to your daily positive emails, video’s and articles. Gratitude, is what I have found this past year. My daughter was diagnosed with a syndrome, and is having heart issues, most likely will have open heart surgery. She is 10. I practice gratitude daily. In one year, I have made many strides as a Mom, to see the positive, and to be thankful for life each day. I have made sure that my daughter sees gratitude, and experiences joy…horseback riding, a new puppy, reading stories together, going to the art museum, baking cookies, building a fort in her room that lasted for 10 days….it’s the small things. But, it takes a regular mental effort to be positive, to smile when someone asks how I’m doing, when they have no knowledge of my worry.
    Thank you, so much for this blog….I can’t tell you how much it has influenced me, and how I enjoy it.
    Lisa, Houston, Texas

    • Kari says:

      Lisa,
      I will say prayers for your daughter and your family! I am a single mom of 3 boys one of whom is my nephew. I have struggled quite a bit with my health and happiness. You are totally right about the small things. That is what counts! Thank you for sharing and putting life into perspective!
      I wish the best for your daughter and healing, strength and courage!
      Kari

    • marilene says:

      Feel so sad about your daughter, I still haven’t gotten over my 50 year old brother’s death after crucifying cancer, hope she will be well , prayers do work miracles at times, last year we prayed to Padre Pio and somehow a relative survived when only 3 mins away from death , will certainly add her to my daily prayers

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Wow, I’m so touched by your story, and by your courage Lisa. Blessed to hear how you choose gratitude each day, despite your circumstances.

  9. TheAmericanSpokesmodel says:

    Great video! Thanks for sharing. Gratitude is a practice and can change your perspective & day in an instant. I write in my gratitude journal app Happy Tapper every morning to start my day with a positive intention. It works!

  10. Mariana Rodriguez Lozano says:

    Thank you very much for sharing this. I am used to think negatively, so often I find myself worried, angry or sad, and I have found out that there is a pattern in this. I have been “trying” to be grateful, but no very commited to it really. So I must make this a habit, a real habit. Thank you very much, from my heart. I’m glad there’s people like you in this planet, working for everybody’s wellness.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      It’s so easy for negativity to seep in, especially because it’s often all around us. It takes practice, and a lot of intentional mind-correcting to get us thinking positively. Glad you enjoyed, Mariana 🙂

  11. Sherry says:

    I have found this in my life to be so true. I know it sounds crazy and that Christmas is a VERY important holiday (understood) ,but I like Halloween the best. Halloween is a holiday you can give something and no one thinks they have to give back. I feel joy from this act maybe because there are no string attached and you feel like you have made someones Halloween special.

  12. Delaine Teabout Thomas says:

    mm.

    I remember when a major language-learning software company called me (a random wife and SAHM of three in middle Ohio) to tell me they wanted to fly me to Paris to watch another person shoot a video and then continue on to Mumbai, where I’d be featured in a video about learning Hindi.

    That was in April 2014. And here I am in September, mourning the fact that I could barely “take in” the news, take in the multiple flights from US to France, France to India. I couldn’t take in the sights of the two cities… And it’s now all a blur that I’m trying to relive through pictures on Facebook.

    I was grateful for the opportunity, but I couldn’t shake the heavy cloud of foreboding- What if they chose the wrong person? I don’t know enough Hindi to make a video about it. What if I get lost in Paris? What if this other video is better than mine and I become obsolete? What if I disappoint them and they’ve spent all this money on me? What if the crew members get sick? OMG I’m going to look SO fat on camera. I’m not the right person for this…

    I robbed myself of joy. And it wasn’t until I was back in Ohio, wiping my 3 year old’s butt that I’d realized my trip was a once in a lifetime type of thing, and my mind was barely there.

    This video is life-changing and I pray that it’s just the first step to a more grateful, joyous life. Thank you for this, Dale!

  13. Allyx says:

    that is a really great video. Great lesson that if we all work everyday to live by, we would have a better world. If we understood that everyone is on different points of the path, and we weren’t so quick to judge or get upset with others I know everyone would be happier and better for it 🙂
    Thank you for showing this!
    Count your blessings
    Name them one by one

  14. Verity Ⓥ says:

    Our whole childhoods, almost everyones, sets us up to feel inadequate and in competition with every other human we encounter. We don’t learn at school we are on a conveyor belt factory where all our curiosity and wildness is stamped out of us till we become this inhibited and self doubting adult.

    As an adult I’m trying to tap back into my inner child. Reignite my curiosity, become braver, take more risks and change what I can. I’ve been very inspired by Louise Hay. She covers a lot about self love and deserving good in our lives where we often doubt we do. She also looks at dis-ease as she terms it and she believes that any condition can be traced back to some kind of self projection of illness through our mental state.

    I have a long way to go and I struggle everyday, but I’m tapping into different tools to get by and make improvements to my life. Including the less is more philosophy of having less possessions, less burdens and more everything else (energy, time) to live a life outside of the material even going vegan and being grateful for the planet, lessoning my impact.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      We all have a long way to go! The important thing is to continue working on US every day, and to be intentional about it. Bit by bit…and the world will be a better place because of it 🙂

  15. ShaunAustin8 says:

    I have not thought about being intentionally grateful. I am excited to see this practice come to life. I have so much to be grateful for and I need to express it more. I sent this to my wife because we have been wrestling with some issues with our oldest son. He is amazing and we have the resources to continue to work with him. I am very grateful for that.

  16. marilene says:

    Thanks for this, I did actually feel connected and happy when I decided to send thank yous to old boys with whom I had enjoyed going out but did not show my appreciation at the time, even sent presents to compensate for the drinks they paid for me. Love is great, everybody needs it.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Forgiveness is never for the other person, it is always for US. When we withhold forgiveness it is only causing a hard heart full of bitterness and resentment. Forgiveness is FREEDOM. Always remember that. Do not let someone else’s actions dictate your character. You can love someone from a distance, there is nothing wrong with that.

  17. Uday kumar maclean says:

    Joy without gratitude ? I don’t know but I laugh a lot everyday but still I don’t feel like I’m happy because its seems a tiny bit of joy for me even if I smile whole day. I wanted to write many things here but I still don’t know where to start n where to end. But I feel so blessed for god has helped me in every patch of my life. I’m so thankful to him

  18. Amanda Buzzell says:

    I really enjoyed this video. The part where she mentions being a parent and watching your child sleep then thinking something bad might happen, I felt like I connected with that part. That is how I think sometimes, if I am too happy or enjoying something too much then something bad might happen. I need to take the time to learn how to experience real joy.

  19. Cassandra says:

    I love Brene Brown. I read her book the gift of imperfections. She is brilliant. Shame is real and it holds us back from so much

  20. Isaac says:

    I have discovered that when I practice gratitude I feel full emotionally and spiritually. That’s when I also feel the most confident. When I’m grateful (and not just telling myself I’m grateful), my ability to share and give to others outweighs any insecurity and fear I have. However, I could work on recognizing my joy and not allowing all the “what if’s” and negativity to get into my head. Superb post Dale…thank you.

  21. Lynda says:

    That really hit home for me! I’m struggling so much with finding and feeling joy or even contentment with myself but I realize I’m forgetting to be grateful for the little things that are around every day. I think what she said about the more you are grateful you go around looking for things each day. I need to practice this and be mindful

  22. Dana says:

    I Thessalonians 5:16. Rejoice always and give thanks in all circumstances…God already knows us, no need for research. He wants us to experience joy! He told us how.

  23. Brooke DeBoer says:

    Wow, that resonated with my soul. I’ll be watching that again. In fact, on my kitchen chalkboard, I think I am going to go write, “Actively pursue gratitude” as a reminder to myself. Thanks for sharing!

  24. A Realist says:

    There are many things from my past (known to others and known only to myself) that undoubtedly add to self sabotage. Unfortunately, those that tell me to “fake it until I make it” can’t begin to understand how I feel. I see things for how and what they are. I live in the real and the now and yes, if you’re happy ALL the time then you are deluding yourself to how the real world is and REAL life. Not everything can be bought. To ‘remove’ or ‘limit’ yourself from people who may be struggling because “it’s their journey” is defeating the real purpose as to why God put us here (or whatever higher power you believe in). We are here to learn, grow and help one another in this journey called: L I F E

  25. Tatiana says:

    Hello David. Usefull tthoughts you shared with people. I struggl(ed) with shame, guilt, self sabotage, delusion, addiction, and lying too. Plus depression, low self esteem and at the same time high self esteem. Struggle with emotional dependence, sensetivity. I;m happy that now i can face it and share here

  26. Beth Hull says:

    I definitely do that thing of putting myself in the middle so if something bad happens I won’t be too devastated. Like ‘always expect the worst, then if something good happens it will be a nice surprise’. I know to try and appreciate the small things in life but when I’m feeling dark, it’s just not possible. I still go back constantly to ‘what is the point of all this?’. I can never be content. I default to negativity, always.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      I know what you mean, Beth, and I’ve been there too. And sometimes I still go there. Negativity seems to always be looming, that’s why it’s such a battle sometimes. But as long as you keep practicing optimism every day, and learn to recognize when the negative is setting in, you’ll learn the art of it all and will be much happier. But it takes work! You can do it.

  27. Sonja Scoggins says:

    I never felt Happy no more since I got my divorce in 1999. Iam living with a guy whom I been with over 11 years. There are days when I will smile or laugh. But I don’t know how to fine my happiness again.

    • Sebastian Daniels says:

      I think that for me happiness derives from contentment. When you are content then your emotions come and go including happiness.

      • Sonja Scoggins says:

        ty u for respond ing back to me I on’t know what just haapen here I wasdoing fine yesterday trying to study my lesson in my lady class I even got angry with god cause I could get what they was trying to asked me for in a? but later I asked him to forgive me and he did.. But then I woke up this morning feeling real bad could not concentrate in the lady meeting. I feel like I am going back to that place which I claim out of two week agao. don’t know what I chould do now.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      I’m not sure what is stealing your joy so it’s hard to help with that. But for me, I pray. I pray and I read and I learn to tackle the negative thoughts with positive ones. For everything I complain about, I have to name one thing I’m also grateful for. Also remember that comparison is the thief of joy, in case that plays a role for you as well.

      • Sonja Scoggins says:

        sorry that I haven’t been online. but I am doing better now in my life. I am starting to just relay on God and letting him handle all my problems and he is even useing me to help others out like my friend who was missing something in her life.

  28. moby says:

    I have been single for 10 years. I cant seem to make a connection on an emotional level. I blame my past relationships, I blame my vulnerability I blame myself for letting my guard down and allowing myself to get hurt. I have created this bubble that I live in, I play it so safe that I don’t allow anyone in at all besides my close friends because I know their isn’t the type of emotions with them that there is with a potential lover. So I’m safe. I pray everyday to God to send me someone to love and when God sends a person my way that could be Potential relationship. …I shut off completely. In my business I fail to feel gratitude and I’m always ungrateful. …I could have made more money blah blah …I compare myself to others I the same field a d I feel I don’t measure up. I have become my own worst critic…and I victim. I have realised that gratitude for what I have is something I need to work on.
    l

    • Sebastian Daniels says:

      Maybe try asking yourself how can I act in a Jesus like manner everyday. It will be difficult at first but slowly over time as you practice I think it will make you more happy as you become more grateful for things, more compassionate towards yourself and others, and so forth.

    • Josh says:

      I know your feeling! But no one can change that but you. It’s has to be from the inside out. As our friend said OCD is something I struggle from, but talk about it to a stranger who knows nothing about you and can give you some support! Prayers, love and peace your way brother/ sister Moby

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Absolutely, I hear you on your struggle and know it can’t be easy going through those ups and downs. But yes, putting yourself out there is vulnerable… but so worth it in the end! Remember your worth does not come from people, it comes from God. And gratitude really does change everything, so practice it every day! For every negative thought, come up with a positive one – something you’re thankful for.

  29. moby says:

    I live in constant fear everyday of my life. I have a prayer ritual that I perform every night fearing that if I don’t do it something bad might happen. I have stopped taking risks in my personal life. So this is why I’m so alone and unhappy

    • Sebastian Daniels says:

      Hey Moby. I suggest you go see a counselor. I don’t know much about your situation but sounds a little like OCD. Therapy can be amazingly helpful. I send positive vibes your way.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Hi Moby, thank you so much for sharing so vulnerably here. I would have to agree with Sebastian that you should seek out a counselor. Please do not see seeking counsel as a negative or a weak thing, in fact, it’s quite the opposite.

  30. Sebastian Daniels says:

    We are therapy brothers then Dale haha. I have also spent hundreds of hours in therapy for those same exact reasons. I found DBT to be the most helpful. Talk therapy to be the least. I use to fear that everything would go wrong and I would hide my feelings from the world. It can become tiresome, but you can change your relationship with the world. I know I did. IT took a lot of effort but it is doable.

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Haha seems that way 🙂 And it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but my life (and those around me) are better because of it.

  31. Christine says:

    I’m feeling lost, lost in world I don’t know and I can’t understand, surrounded by deaf and blind people. When I’m walking down the street, I don’t see a single smile and I feel like crying. I just don’t fit in. I can’t wear this mask of indifference anymore when I care about every little thing around me, when everything that seems meaningless for the others, matters for me. Maybe it is because I feel invisible myself. It’s so tiring living this life dominated by mood swings. Happy, sad, determined, confused, peaceful, stressed. What’s the meaning of these? How do they shape me? How do they shape my world? In this quiet world I call my own, who am I?

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Hi Christine, thank you so much for sharing so vulnerably here. I am going to recommend that you seek a counselor out as you have many (very normal) questions that should be worked through. You have some deep hurts in your heart, I can tell that much, and a counselor is only going to help you through those things. I know it’s not easy, but you can do it!

  32. Annie says:

    Dale, I think I may have depression. And it makes me feel so weak and worried… I’m afraid to talk to my family and recognize that I have depression. I’ve been feeling myself so weak and sick, but when I visit the doctor, the medical diagnostic is that I don’t have a physical illness. All the results of my medical tests are normal, I don’t have anything. But every day, I feel weakness, chronic pain, migraines, stomachache, etc… I’m losing my hair and sometimes I don’t have enough energy to work or study, so I rather to sleep for hours and hours. 🙁 (Excuse me if my english is poor. I’m from Colombia, and I’m taking english classes to improve my writing and reading comprehension).

    • Dale Partridge says:

      Wow Annie I am so sorry to hear about your physical struggles! I wish I could offer more advice, but I am not a doctor so I cannot speak into that part. But I can tell you to keep fighting and keep searching for answers, even when you want to give up. I know it’s hard but life is worth it! If you believe your depression is causing you to become physically ill, you need to seek out a counselor and walk through this with them. It will only make better!

      • Annie says:

        Hello Dale! I’m so happy to see that you answer my comment. The truth is, I love all of your posts. Since I’ve been visiting your site, I’ve learned so many things to improve my life and my relationships. I will continue fighting, I will never give up. I’m a young person and I have so many things to do… I have so many dreams to come true. So, I will not give up and I will try to find the answers and a cure to my depression. I will seek out a counselor, a professional who can help me with my mental issues. God bless you. You’re a great person, a “Maestro”!! Hugs

    • Jody says:

      Have the doctor check your vitamin D levels. My daughter had a lot of your same symptoms (especially sleeping and feeling tired all of the time) I took her to 3 different doctors (one being a counsellor) and when they tested her D levels they were way below the minimum required for optimum health. Her levels were at 18 and optimum is between 30-150. After taking a prescribed high dose vitamin D supplement for 3 months she’s at 38 now, she’s feeling less depressed, has more energy and her hair isn’t falling out like it had been. I’ve learned that vitamin D deficiency is common here in the Pacific Northwest and people with darker skin are more prone to it. It can affect a person both physically and mentally. I’m not a doctor, (so only a doctor can truly diagnose you) I’m a mom who loves her daughter and I feel lucky that we were able to find out what was wrong … I hope you do, too!

      • Annie says:

        Hello Jody! Thanks for your advice. I will talk to my doctor to check my vitamin D levels… It’s really interesting what you say. I haven’t checked my vitamin D levels…!! I’m a young woman (I’m only 32 years) and I have to visit my doctor often because my mom died of cancer 5 years ago. So, I’m very careful with my physical health. I’m so happy to read that your daughter is better now. God bless you. 🙂 <3

    • Allison says:

      Annie, I have experienced the exact same symptoms and experience with doctors. I literally thought I was going crazy. My primary physician finally said that it might be gluten (that’s any food made with wheat, barley, or rye) and suggested I try a food elimination diet. I did and found out that I am sensitive to gluten. Since I have eliminated gluten from my diet, I feel normal again. I even ran a half-marathon, something I thought I would never, in a million years, be able to do. Anything is worth a try at this point. Good luck!

    • Dee says:

      Hi I’ve had the same symptoms for years and years and finally I got a doctor who really paid attention to my pain. And then I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and u should also ask them to do a Lupus test that’s blood work for lupus since ur hair is falling and ur stomache hurts try these and I hope u get some result back so u can be treated, good luck.

  33. Sonja Scoggins says:

    Thank you for your advice. Will let you know how I am doing in my life from time to time God Bless you my Brother.

  34. Andrea says:

    Thank you so much Dale for this article, that video is powerful! Now I want to read the book because I really think that we can be happier when we thank God for every little good thing in our life.

    God bless you.

  35. gabriela says:

    wow this is what I was looking for, my life is so perfect, never been better and still I felt a little confused and not happy at all, now I understand why. Great post! thank you for this

  36. Sean Clark says:

    You are truly motivating! Keep posting awesome content like this!! truly changed the way i play to continue living my life. Thanks

  37. Anton says:

    Hey Dale! I just wanted to say thank you for all the articles. I’m currently reading Daring Greatly when I read one of your comments at the article about shallow relationships and friendships. I am definitely learning a lot about real connections and being wholehearted. I feel a lot better about myself and also the relationships I have, keeping them more meaningful and appreciated. It’s a very gratifying experience to read the book and also articles here on your website. So thank you very much for your effort! Absolutely appreciated!

  38. TEWyou says:

    Thank you for this GREAT article and my favorite replay. I absolutely love these ladies, and am very grateful for the lessons in their simply refreshing discussion. Thank you!

  39. Anita Byrd-Petts says:

    I had an AH HA moment when she talked about being greatful for the little things that seem so unimportant until they are gone. I now have a totally new understanding of the importance of gratitude. THANK YOU!

  40. guave says:

    what an ego centric society we live in, instead of trying to “find joy” why not get out of yourself and produce for society. self help industry is garbage. The true secret is that you don’t matter its your ego telling you otherwise all that matters is the herd.

  41. Chrissy says:

    Feeling let down all the time by men. I am in my mid 30s and just moved to a new area. I am very outgoing and I trying to make new guy friends. Can’t believe after my divorce no guy treats me right. I tend to read into guys actions and words when i talk to someone I am interested in. The biggest let down is when I see the guy and his moods change when I see him. Why do men blow hot and cold? We are only acquaintences. What can i do if I can’t get past the acquantince stage? I am giving up easily on guys and i don’t like this treatment. Is there a reason why I attract people like this?

    • Stel says:

      I’m not sure if you’re attracted to a certain person, but certainly some specific quality of person. Perhaps having friends introduce you to fellas who are of your intellectual caliber and offer the respect and stability of a friendship your looking for could change your luck a bit. Perhaps this could be a good start; I usually tell my lady friends interested in fellas to look for a geek. If a guy can devote himself to a silly (sometimes nerdy) hobby, he may be able to transfer that devotion to something more valuable (like a great partner). …just an idea.

      • Chrissy says:

        Well there is a smart well educated guy I approached a few months ago near my apartment. I talked to him first bc he was attractive to me. Well I didn’t realize 2 things when I talked to him. 1. He was 27 and I am 36 and 2. He has a GF. Wow! Talk about a huge let down! He never mentioned he had a GF. I just happened to meet her one night when I was out to dinner with my girlfriends. I was shocked when he introduced me to her. It was very awkward moment for me. I was actually sad bc he is seems like a shy nerdy type guy. It still hurts a little.

  42. Lucky Schwartz says:

    I just ordered the book from Amazon…thank you. This couldn’t be more timely for me. I struggle with being vulnerable. I struggle with experiencing joy…any kind of joy. I try to convince myself that this is somehow a strength but I know in my heart that it is not.

  43. Lindsey says:

    Wow. What a powerful moment I just had reading/watching that. Really, it brought me to tears. My motto has been for a few years now, “base every decision off of love, not fear”. I try to ask myself all the time if I am doing something out of pure love and positivity or is my action fear based. Years now, and I still struggle to do this consistently. I am 30 years old, have the most gorgeous family, live in the most beautiful place on earth (Whoop-whoop Bend OR!) and find myself so confused and unfulfilled many days. I know in my heart I am still hanging onto years of abusive relationships from my past but the fear of being hurt like that again stops me from truly forgiving and that anger is poisoning my life. Even just this morning, my fiance had an interview for a job with a significant pay raise (our family of 4 is living off of $14/hr) and in a department where he could finally shine and use his amazing gifts of intellect and teaching. I was ecstatic! Jumping up and down, congratulating him on all his hard work finally paying off, my daughter and I even made a “CONGRATS” sign for his promotion. Well, he just came home at lunch to tell me he did NOT get the job. His utter disappointment and regret for getting so excited about the job threw me into a guilty, negative mindset. WHY did I get him so excited just to have him be so let down? HOW could I have quit my job to raise our kids and put all of the financial pressure on him? WHAT are we doing wrong to deserve to be so poor? And then I came upon this article. I’ll say it again…wow. We are so lucky and so blessed to even just have each other and so much support in our relationship! I have so much to be grateful for that I could go on for the rest of the day talking about it. 🙂 Thank you for posting this video, it really reminded me to work harder on my gratitude and that there is no such thing as too many hours of self-help or therapy! 😉

    • Lindsey says:

      And as I watch the video for the second time 😉 I will also be emailing it to my man! Maybe it will resonate with him as well. Thanks Dale!

  44. Michelle says:

    I follow you on Insta & have only stumbled upon your website a couple times–but today something led me here. I heard a little voice that simply said… “go do a little digging. you need this” & it was right.
    Sometimes the experience & heart of strangers is exactly what snaps our World back into focus. & although reading your words & watching this video wrecked me, it allowed me to feel exactly how I needed to in this moment… & remind me to stop fearing. & to be a part of team brave. Appreciate you Dale.

  45. ShesCriticMania says:

    I had convinced myself and started convincing my partner that happiness is earned and focusing on the worst case scenario prevented any triggers to my severe depression and made us stronger against bad situations. Wow.. I was wrong!

  46. éVoLuTiOn says:

    thats so true, the clip, i always try not to be too happy coz i think what if it goes wrong, this clip is deep, got me thinking

  47. Katica says:

    I am in deep with depression, and just getting help now.. but I have to say this is true; I truely believe..d that nothing good has ever really happened in my life, and nothing ever goes right..
    Like earlier today for example my parents were suppost to come into town for a meeting to get me back in the school, get me child tax, look into student welfare and medical as well; to help with finances. And bring a laptop so I can start a freelance career and do homework, as well as help us with groceries.. I wanted my dad to bond with me and teach me how to tattoo (not yet on myself) but the principal called them sick just as I finished my makeup for once and was earlier thinking something is gunna go wrong… The principal just didn’t want me at the meeting… But that’s besides the point this is accurate.

    How about an article on how to gain motivation and hope to even work towards getting better most days I just want to hibernate and never wake up.

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