There's nothing worse than feeling bad and not knowing how to get yourself out of that state.
Difficult feelings can seem like a tidal wave washing over you, pushing you down.
Once difficult feelings gain momentum over a few hours or days, and your mind gets involved with negative thoughts that perpetuate those feelings, it's a vicious cycle that can be hard to break out of.
Everyone copes with feeling bad in different ways.
Do any of these coping strategies below sound familiar?
You might be doing these things consciously or unconsciously…
I used to be a victim to my feelings.
A feeling would rear it's ugly head, and it would take control of me.
I would sit in that feeling, letting it own me.
I would wait for it to finally leave so I could carry on.
I didn't know how to deal with the feeling.
Sometimes I would use things like drinking, eating, shopping, socializing, TV or any other activity I could think of, to numb the feelings. But…
Numbing yourself when you're feeling bad never really works.
It just sedates the feelings, giving you temporary respite until they rear up again.
3. When Feeling Bad – Endless Talking that Goes Around in Circles
I used to be a pro at talking about my feelings – to anyone who would listen. And often it only left me more wound up in my feelings and problems.
If I was stressed, I would talk about it to my workmates.
If I was afraid, I would talk to my sisters and mother about it.
If I was worried, I would talk to my husband.
If I was anxious, I would talk to my dog about it.
If I was feeling guilty, I would talk to the Universe about it.
You get the picture – lots of talking!
The problem was, I wasn't talking about my feelings to get resolution, I was instead bemoaning my feelings and making things worse.
Here's the thing with talking about your feelings… you want to do it very consciously in order to find relief, not to get more wound into the problem.
- It is extremely useful and important to talk about your feelings for a sense of relief – like releasing the valve and letting off steam
- It can SOMETIMES lead to greater understanding of the feelings. It can also help to lead you to see the root cause that generated the feeling in the first place. But not always. It depends on how conscious the conversation is and if there is INTENT on your part to shift into greater clarity.
- It depends entirely on WHO you are talking to, as to whether you end up feeling better or worse. When you're feeling bad, you don't need someone to fan the flames of any negative thoughts and story you already have which feeds those feelings. So, be conscious of who you surround yourself with and share with.
- Talking is often useful when used in conjunction with other ways to reset yourself.
Projecting is when you fire your feelings at other people.
When you're feeling bad and you don't know how to process those feelings, it's like they boil up and you blow like a volcano. You just can't keep it inside anymore. It's too much pressure.
You don't intend to blurt your feelings at others. You don't want to hurt others.
You just don't know how to reset yourself into mental and emotional equilibrium.
A Reliable Way to Reset Yourself When Feeling Bad
After many years of practicing A LOT of ways to gain greater mastery over my feelings, I discovered a reliable approach that ALWAYS makes me feel better. It's not the only thing, but it's one powerful tool I use because it is guaranteed to make a difference.
And not just better for a moment.
But a positive difference in a fresh new way – as if I hit the reset button on myself and turned to a new page.
Not only that, but after doing this one thing, I always come back to my life/situation with:
- more empowerment,
- enhanced inner peace, and
- a higher perspective on how to move forward.
Tune in below where I share with you my reliable go-to strategy for times when I'm feeling bad.
Next time you're caught up in circles in a difficult feeling, remember this tip…
With love, Bernadette