Success tips – there are a gazillion out there. It depends who is writing them as to what they tell you that you should or shouldn't do.
It can feel like there are an endless number of things you have to remember if you want to be optimally “successful”.
By the way… I'm not a fan of the word “should” and use it as rarely as possible – as to me it screams expectations… expectations to be/do what someone else tells you that you have to be/do, versus marching to the beat of your own drum.
While I'm 100% for learning, absorbing wisdom, and taking onboard advice from others to maximise my own life experience, there is a distinct difference between that and conforming to someone else's mold and model while losing your unique essence in the process!
I don't want that to happen for you. I know what it's like to feel lost in a quagmire of advice from everyone around you and not to know exactly who to listen to or trust.
So, after a little inspiration popped into my mind, I acted on it and went ahead to compile this short and simple list of success tips for you. This list is both timeless in terms of incorporating invaluable age-old spiritual wisdom, and at the same time it includes tips for what it takes in modern day life and business to be as effective, professional and progressive as possible to achieve your goals/dreams.
Taking an Integrated Approach to Achieve Maximum Success
If you want to read the tips, scroll down to access them below now. But for those of you interested… there is a reason I'm writing this blog in this way, it's why the inspiration came to me in the first place…
Because sometimes I feel like a chameleon, or like I live in two worlds.
I spent 13 years walking the halls and meeting rooms of corporate businesses – from working for a New Zealand Government Minister in my first year out of University, to supporting the CEO of one of New Zealand's biggest companies, to operating as a Consultant in a high paced Human Resources/Recruitment job serving some of the biggest private and public sector organisations in the country.
Then quite unexpectedly (even to myself!) and quite radically it seemed to everyone around me, I ended up going through an intense period of personal growth and spiritual awakening which saw me dive head first in everything Mind-Body-Spirit. I began absorbing everything I could get my teeth into with regards to human consciousness, human and planetary energy and energy shifts, manifestation, conscious creation, and soul based alignment to human potential – experientially learning exactly what it means to “risk it all and follow your dream”.
My perspective of “success” completely changed.
I ended up leaving my career in response to deep intuition, sold my home and literally everything I owned (except some clothes and my suitcase) and I embarked on a life adventure to recreate myself from the inside out… following a knowing within me that went beyond what logic could explain and/or accept as sensible!
So, I accept now that I'm both a business woman in the traditional mainstream, which I walk with ease and confidence as it's where I spent most of my life, and I'm also a total spiritual junkie, “quester”, and am into some of the oddest and most eyebrow raising topics! I intuitively know that what I've discovered about life meaning, life purpose and how this Universe operates is completely true, in a way I can't explain to anyone who wants “facts and evidence”. This now totally underpins how I run my business, how I achieve my own version of “success” and how I help people achieve peak performance in all areas of their lives.
When it comes to “success”, everyone wants it, most people are fixated on a very narrow and somewhat meaningless definition of what success really is, and there are endless sources of advice and guidance out there in the world telling you how to achieve it.
I follow a lot of incredible people in my own industry/field in terms of people writing, speaking and coaching on what it means and what it takes to be successful in our modern world. Some are fully immersed in pure business and career related performance topics like productivity, psychology, strategy, tactics, processes, systems and evidenced research into human potential and how to tap it. Others are fully immersed in spiritual messages which focus on soul history, soul journey and evolution, energy shifts, consciousness, manifestation, co-creation and spiritual wisdom.
I see success in the New World as a beautiful merger of both sides of the “success advice spectrum”.
It is no longer a complete picture to just look at peak performance and human potential based on psychology, hard facts and old models for squeezing out maximum productivity while ignoring the holistic nature of a person. It is no longer a sustainable approach to push ahead to achieve results while ignoring underlying blocks and limitations within, or achieving success professionally at some personal cost. That is NOT what the New World is calling for from all of us.
It was also never enough just to focus on our spiritual sides. We are here having a physical life experience for a freaking good reason… and the entire point is to learn how to bring age-old spiritual wisdom and our spiritual selves into practice in our daily life as human beings, subject to all the challenges of daily human life. If you know a lot about conscious living, presence, compassion, intuition, soul journey and life purpose, but you don't PRACTICE it, then it remains knowledge. Knowledge that is not married with action is a lonely spinster.
Some of the people I coach are initially all about the results, and start out with little to no interest in or understanding of what is going on spiritually and with their powerful consciousness in terms of how to create those results. Others start out fully interested in immersing themselves in all things spiritual and are not too keen to look at the hard work and day to day consistent effort it takes to get the results that they really do want. (Neither approach lasts long when working with me! I'm all about holistic, integrated approaches).
Here's the deal – we are integrated beings and we need integrated solutions to fully rock out. So, to that end, this blog is a list of some of my success tips which merge both “sides” like a zip – peak performance success tips and spiritual wisdom combined.
1. You create success from the inside out, stop scrambling to control what goes on around you
You are an inside out creator, meaning that everything you experience is formulated energetically through your inner workings (your consciousness, your beliefs, your thoughts, your feelings, your choices and flow on behaviours) and your “reality” is entirely an interpretation you make based on filtering facts/situations/people/things through your unique belief system.
You do not need to scramble to try to control events or coerce, or force outcomes to get what you want. You need only focus on your true source of power, within yourself, that is your consciousness. As you grow in your understanding of how you create your reality from your paradigm, your consciousness and your energy, and as you practice that power consistently, you realize that there is no need for you to worry about what others are doing, saying, or thinking. You will no longer worry about what the economy is doing or what the Government is doing, or what volume of opportunities there are reported for jobs, income or wealth. You will not focus on what the stats say about health and well-being, or what the odds are of you achieving any particular thing you so desire. Instead, you release concern of what is seemingly “going on outside of yourself” and you realize that your life is not creating around you with you then reacting to it, instead you are creating it from within yourself and it reacts to you. For many people this is a radical shift in perspective.
2. Don't ignore your values just to grab at short term pay back
If you have the option to do something that will lead to greater external success but it means you won't live your values in the process, ask yourself what kind of person you really are. Ask yourself what kind of life you want to live. Ask yourself what you would want to role model for your children (or future children, or friends, or parents, or whoever!). This is not about being holier than thou. This is about saying the deeper meaning in your life comes from your values and living those values. When you strip that away, you live a hollow and unanchored life. It may not be that your actions/lifestyle/work is a major disconnect from your values, but enough to leave you with an unexplainable uneasy feeling.
One of the primary exercises I do with people is to get them to identify their values and to tell me why each value is important to them and what it looks like to live those values day to day. Then I ask them to review each area of their life and see where they are NOT in alignment and that is often is a direct match with where they are feeling unsatisfied, challenged, blocked or confused. If you are willing to trade your values off for success, it means you think that it's not possible to live your values and have success at the same time, or that you feel somehow you are an exception to the rule and you are not supported in life by your soul, your purpose and this intelligent Universe we live in. If that is the case, there is further work to do on your perspective and your paradigm (model of reality) – because without a doubt, the way you see the world is the world you will see. And we don't all see the world in the same way, hence we all have very different experiences and interpretations of life! Which is a nice segue into a related point…
3. Never do what others tell you when it involves cutting your conscience in the process
If you feel you have to do something you're not comfortable with in order to achieve the success you want, you're not on the right path and you need to trust that if you stand back and stand for what you know is right and best for you, that other ways/paths/means to your desired success will become apparent to you in due course. Stand for yourself. Don't play follow the leader with someone who is demonstrating unconscious, unethical, immoral, or any other form of limiting and unpalatable behaviour. It will leave you with a bad taste, which many describe as “selling your soul”.
4. When intuition screams louder than facts, you'd be wise to follow your intuition even if it seems kooky
It's very common to have been conditioned into believing in only what you can see, hear and prove with facts and evidence. That is not the full picture of what life is about. There is an unseen dimension to your life – to who you are, to how powerful you are, to how you create and how you influence your outcomes and everyone around you. This unseen dimension to your life is also the foundation of our entire energy-based world and how it actually functions.
You are conditioned from an early age to trust only your analytical mind and to adhere to norms. You perceive that it is safe and easier to follow the crowd. It means you are less and less likely to trust your most reliable source of guidance… your intuition (as your soul connectedness to all of creation, guiding you with feeling in the best direction for your overall success on this soul/life journey). Your intuition, this sixth sense you have which is tapped into the unseen dimension of your life, gets relegated.
There are key points in your life when you are faced with a decision. It may be about a relationship, your career, your finances or your health. And you will find yourself torn between logic/facts and your intuition. Success is trusting in your intuition and knowing when to follow it, despite not being able to “prove” your reason for doing so and despite the facts of the situation suggesting you'd be crazy to go in that direction.
5. Nothing takes the place of consistent, hard work and putting in the effort to get your result
You can apply your conscious creative power and manifest all you like, but if you don't put in the hours and the graft to make your goals/dreams happen, they won't happen. The Universe works in your favour, that is true and it supports your success, that is true. But it is also true that the Universe is your PARTNER, and if you don't play your part in the relationship, then no amount of visualization is going to help. If you rely solely on your spiritual nature, and your deservedness, then you've missed the point of you having this physical life experience. You came into life to be your unique expression – to give your gifts into this world without inhibition, without apology and without judgement. This means living your life fully, being fully expressed, following your passions, acting on inspiration, and honouring your intuition in how it guides you (all ways your soul speaks to you). It does NOT mean solely praying for outcomes, being a good person and visualizing your dreams. You are soul first, body second, and you chose to come to have this life experience so you could play in this world – with all its opportunity and excitement, and all its challenges, complexity and demands. Every time there is an opening for action, your job is to act. To write a book, you have to actually write, it's not going to write itself! To get the promotion at work, you have to produce results worthy of promotion and understand what the company wants from a high performer and then deliver to that. To travel to your dream country, you have to save and book the flight! You have to get IN ACTION and make it happen – no excuses.
6. If you are not holistically balanced, then you are not experiencing success
Success is not getting everything you want at the expense of your physical, mental or emotional well-being, nor at the expense of your most treasured relationships. It is not about working every given hour of the day, putting your nose to the grindstone and wearing your “old-school work ethic” like a badge on your chest while being totally sleep deprived, stressed, under-nourished and over-stimulated.
Success is knowing how to create the professional/career/business/vocational results you want, while also caring for yourself at all levels of Mind-Body-Spirit and nourishing the most important soul connections you have in this life – the relationships with those you love dearly.
7. Success has zero to do with what you own and what societal recognition you get, and everything to do with how you feel
Behind all goals, dreams and aspirations for “success” lies one common motivator. Everyone wants to feel a certain way. They want to feel happy, peaceful and/or love (loved). It doesn't matter if you're determined to grow your business, to achieve $X income, to change the world, to have more relaxation, to heal your body, to be the best parent you can be, to buy a house, to drive a bigger car, to travel more or to educate yourself, the list could go on. Ultimately all of these boil down to wanting to feel a certain way – to feel fulfilled.
Many people believe the achievement of these external endeavours will complete them, that they will feel validated, recognized and that without those achievements they will be missing something. Once you realize this, and you realize that what you most seek is a feeling, you become less obsessed with the outer defined “thing” you're trying to achieve, and more attuned to the feeling you're seeking to create. Shockingly, you realize that you can experience those feelings right now (through your conscious awareness, perspective and choices) and so you no longer have to “achieve” any external thing to have those feelings… meaning all of a sudden your motivation for doing anything at all becomes so much purer… for the joy of it… not for validation, recognition, or thinking any external endeavour is going to make you better, more of someone, more enough or more complete.
By all means, create every inspired thing you conceive of and enjoy the creative process, but always remember your true motivator behind it. When you have that clarity, then you are fully in control of yourself, versus being driven by a subversive desire that you don't fully understand.
8. The second you feel like you have to convince someone of something or of your value, and you think that they hold your goals/dreams in their hands, is the second you have forgotten where your true power lies
Success rarely comes about because you race around trying to loudly sell your message, product, service or belief to anyone who will listen, nor because you debate, argue or force your view upon others. Success rarely comes about if you live from a desperate need to have the world validate what you have to say.
Success most often comes about because you have a deep conviction in what you are here for, in what you have to offer and in the value you are ready to exchange with this world. You are like a tree that has deep roots – anchored and not thrown around when a gust of wind comes to challenges you. You don't care whether someone doesn't like you – you know the world is not designed for you to have 7+ billion friends and supporters. You know what you have to share and give this world is valuable and important because of the very fact you are here, with a beating heart and intuition guiding you in that direction. You know believing calmly in your path (whatever you are set on creating), and doing so with steely determination and a faith that all things are possible, is what will see you through to your end result.
No one controls you, just as you do not control any other person. No one can limit you, just as you have no power to truly limit another. No one can stop you from the achieving what you desire, just as you cannot stop another person if they are passionately intent on their vision. No one holds your happiness in their hands, unless you placed it there. A shift in perspective is all it takes to reclaim your power.
9. The way to build kick-ass, rewarding, meaningful, deep, lasting and fruitful relationships starts with two fundamental things
Awesome relationships start when you are fully present with the person and actually listening to exactly what they are saying. Most people are not present with other people, but are lost in their own mind thinking about yesterday, tomorrow, what needs to be done next, what you want to say next, how you do or don't like the person, judging them, applauding them… but not always fully present to the moment and therefore not truly listening to them. Listening is not just hearing. It is absorbing their words, their tone, their intent, their emotion and making sense of not just the words, but the meaning they are seeking to convey.
When you are present with someone fully, and you actively listen and convey your understanding of their position, be it personally or professionally, they will feel that depth energetically. People respond to your energy, as we are all energy beings and our energy influences and intersects with other people. People might not even know why they feel good around you, and why they trust you, and why they want to share with you… but presence and active and compassionate listening is what brings a depth to human interaction that is priceless. As such these two things are fundamental for building mutually beneficial, lasting relationships.
10. If you want targeted results, you have to operate on target
You have limitless divine energy (soul wisdom, passion, inspiration and intuition) but you have limited human energy (physical, mental and emotional). You have to make very conscious choices therefore about what you do with that limited human energy day to day. You know this is true, because when you expend your human energy to your limit, or beyond, you end up depleted, exhausted, stressed and ineffective.
So, you need to be clear about exactly what you are seeking to create, and exactly what your true motivator is, and then go about channelling all your precious physical, mental and emotional energy on point toward that result and consciously choosing to decline to expend your energy on other things. There is so much you could do, but if you try to do it all you won't achieve any single thing, you'll end up scattered.
11. To achieve your goals you must be unwavering in your focus and belief
See your vision, believe in your vision, breathe your vision and live that vision. The world will present you many challenges along the path to your desired outcomes that may cause you to wobble in the vision. You will be called upon to slay the dragon, to choose between good and evil, to face your foes and to end up in situations where you must dig deep and decide whether to be “normal” or to live your legend and be extraordinary. The latter means you don't conform, you don't fit to the societal ideals but rather you live to your own compass. That is what success truly is, and not everyone is tapping the courage they inherently have to do just that. Everyone is capable of it, but not everyone is motivated enough (yet) to follow through. You have to ask yourself – am I willing to dance to my own music (which is what I was born to do) or do I feel I must conform?
12. Success doesn't come about through perfection. Trying to be perfect will delay your results
Perfection is not a strength. Having high ideals and standards by which you operate is highly valuable and can propel you in your success. But that isn't perfection. Perfection cripples you from starting or finishing anything because you feel you/things/anything is not quite good enough, and you live by the 100% rule not the 80% rule. Successful people create, refine, act, release, refine, act, refine, act, create, refine, act… Perfectionists create, refine, refine, refine, refine, stall, hold, review, revisit, refine, start again, create, refine, refine and on and on (notice – NO action!).
ACTION & RELEASE are key. You have to allow whatever you create to be released into this world so you can actively refine, with feedback from and interaction with the world, as that is how you improve (yourself or whatever you are doing/creating/delivering). That excellence doesn't come about in isolation.
13. Often the seed you've been watering will take some time to sprout, be patient and never stop nurturing it
Your success is a seed. You plant it when you decide with clarity on exactly what you want to achieve, and you get clear on why you want to achieve it. When those two things are clear, and you start to take action to bring about that result, it is like you are shining your own soul rays of light onto that vision and potentiality for yourself, and you are watering that seed with your hard work, blood, sweat and tears to make it a reality.
That seed has to germinate. You network. You create. You strategize. You market. You execute. You deliver. You network some more. You create more. You produce. You share. You excel. You grow. You revisit your strategy. You tweak your execution. You continue to deliver. You continuously improve. All the while that seed is preparing in those conditions to put down roots, and those roots are anchoring down into this solid foundation you have created – clear vision, clear motivation and clear action consistently on target, unwavering.
Eventually as that seed puts down roots, it starts reaching upward to the warmth, to the light, to the moisture, to the fresh oxygenated air. It breaks through the dirt to present itself to life as a fresh green shoot, ready to blossom into it's fullness for those that are ready to see it emerge.
You cannot stop nurturing the results you want to see, just because you can't see the results yet. Many people give up or change direction or panic when they don't see results from the effort they put in. And so they put in less effort or sporadic effort. This means you're not consistently nurturing the goal/dream/aspiration with what it needs, you starve it from time to time. Nothing does well under those conditions.
It is from the unseen aspect of life (energy/consciousness) that all “the seen” elements of our world spring forth. Consciousness brings something from potentiality into reality. All possibilities exist for you as an unseen wave of energy floating in and out of your awareness, and it is your passion for specific possibilities that means you select them, commit yourself to them and then give all your attention and energy to them to generate tangible results in your life.
14. Play your game, not everyone else's game
Conform to the norm or be you. It's not a tough choice once you realise how different the two FEEL. And after all, we are most motivated by our desire to feel a certain way. Often it's easy to get seduced by the path of those who have gone before you, as the way to success. Of course we learn A LOT from successful people, but there is a fine line between taking learning on-board, applying those to your unique situation and your unique expression and using that for your success, versus trying to mimic, emulate, copy or worse… try to directly BE someone else.
Your unique expression is your gift. Your life purpose is to be that full expression of who you are, in all your uniqueness, with all your beauty and quirks, with all your talents and strengths, alongside your foibles and challenges. You are divine and imbued with everything that you need in this life, EVERYTHING, and your job is to unfold into it. That unfolding means you play your game, not someone else's game. It means catching yourself when you compare yourself to others, allowing yourself to learn from the success of others, but not expecting yourself to be someone that you're not. In fact, you can never be someone you are not, and that is exactly why doing so will never create the results and success you want!
Your path is very special to you and only you can walk it. If you do not play your game, and walk your path, and be your unique expression, you will come and go from this world and humanity will miss out on that special energy that you came to give.
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With love, Bernadette