Jim Rohn is famous for saying:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.
You become what you surround yourself with. It’s true!
To succeed in life there are certain types of people you want to avoid, and other types of people you want to proactively seek out and hang with!
Do a little stocktake right now, using the lists below to check yourself…
5 Types of People to Avoid
While we consciously choose to love and respect ALL people, even those who would purposely or accidentally drag us down, we can love them from a distance! Or at least deflect the unhelpful stuff they throw our way…
The title says it all. They hate on you and what you do. They say it in words or fire it at you with a look on their face. It is NOT about you. It’s that they have such pain inside themselves, and it bursts out in your direction. Be sure to see their hate for what it is, and deflect it promptly!
The Sideline Judges
They judge you and may come across as quite well meaning, thriving on sharing their opinion about your choices. Yet, they sit on the sidelines of life, and have no skin in the game themselves! Remember what Theodore Roosevelt famously said…
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly…”
The Comrade Who Knows Best
Like you, they are learning, growing and committed to being their best. But… unfortunately, they think they have it all figured out and keep telling you what you should do! As you know, we’re all very unique and it’s different strokes for different folks. So what works for them may not be what you need. Be grateful for their desire to help, but stay true to your own intuition.
The Old-School Thinkers
Rigid in their world view, they think there is only one way to live and if you’re not on that path, watch out! Whether it’s that you “should” have one career and do it for your whole life, or whether it’s that you should buy a house with a picket fence and have children, or whether it’s that you should put your money only in certain investments… they are not open minded and cannot bear to see you free and making soul-led choices that are non-traditional or outside the “system” of society. Bless them, because they try to protect you, genuinely thinking it’s safer if you adhere to what everyone has always done. But remember… if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you follow? Of course not! Make your own choices.
It’s not that you need to avoid these lovely people, as much as avoid getting sucked into a pity party they host for you! When you face a challenge, they will show sympathy, cry with you, agree with your pain, agree with your issues, so that you don’t feel alone. BUT… sympathy is not what you need. You want empathy, quickly followed by EMPOWERMENT. Which is why, you need…
5 Types of People to Surround Yourself With
They just listen. No judgement, no projection of their own personal views onto you. Just a listening space where you can freely express, being seen and heard. WOW… how awesome it feels when you meet a listener!
They accept you, just as you are. In the moments when you’re a hot mess and making mistakes, they accept you. In the moments when you’re flying high and rocking it out, they accept you. Human beings CRAVE acceptance. We love these people!
Seers of Truth
These people look beyond the surface level of life and beyond the surface level of you. They see the truth. They know the powerful soul you are. They know that you have what it takes to overcome ALL things and achieve your goals. They know what is meaningful and important, and what is not. And because of this, YOU will see truth because you are surrounded by them. And if you ever forget, they will point it out to you. True sight is priceless!
They light the path ahead. They go first, and check out what it’s like to explore new territory. And, they are more than happy to share with you about the ins and outs, in raw honest detail. From them you learn, you receive inspiration and motivation, you see what is possible, and you go there too!
These love filled people thrive on lifting you up. Filled with positivity, always there to offer a motivating word or refreshing new perspective, they actively choose to see life differently to most people. They LOOK for the openings for personal power and the best way forward, for themselves and for everyone around them.
If you think you’re the only one needing more good people in your life, you’re not!
We see so many awesome people like you who are having to deal with other people’s negativity, and lacking exposure to listeners, acceptors, seers of truth, way makers and empowerers. Which is a large part of the reason we created EvolveHQ – to create your very own safe, structured, positive community environment online where you can get the connection and tribe you need to succeed. As a community we can bolster each other, zone out negativity and zone in on what is most important!
- 8 Tips for Dealing with Rude & Toxic People
- How to Deal with Difficult Family Members
- How to Find Your Tribe
Bernadette Logue (known to everyone as “B”) is the Leader of The Daily Positive, a Transformation Life Coach and the author of 3 personal growth books – guiding you on how to master your mind, to live consciously and soul-aligned. To receive regular coaching resources and support, join B in EvolveHQ, The Daily Positive’s private personal growth membership and community.