Have you ever woke up and looked in the mirror, recognizing your own face, but not recognizing the soul within?
On the outside you think you are attractive, but there's something holding you back from truly believing that the beauty on your face matters, or if it is even real?
What is beauty?
According to Webster’s Dictionary, beauty is a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight. It also means the pleasing or attractive features of something.
The definition states “a combination of qualities,” it doesn’t state beauty is ONLY what is on our faces, or our body shape, or our hair. So…according to Webster’s we are all beautiful!
When we are truly open and honest with ourselves, we find and know our attractive features. However, you might be thinking, I don’t want to be the woman who is pretty on the inside, I want to be the woman that all men flock to, or whatever it is you wish to be drawn to you.
Challenge and ask yourself why this is of importance.
If you are a compassionate, empathetic, funny, smart, and a downright amazing human being, why does having attention towards your looks hold such high importance? What would having this desired attention do for you that you aren’t able to do now?
After coaching numerous female clients from all backgrounds and struggling with these insecurities myself, I realized we have a serious insecurity epidemic in our society. We’re subconsciously fed information on what beauty is “supposed to be”. When we don’t measure up to the societal standards, we start to feel bad about ourselves, and truly by no fault of our own.
The good news is, with simple and intentional modifications to the subconscious, we can quickly start to love ourselves for who we are and stop hating ourselves for not being who we were never meant to be in the first place.
Here are simple ways to start loving your beautiful self today, recognizing what is being advertised in society as beauty, may not be true beauty after all.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Theodore Roosevelt
3 Simple Self Love Practices
Self-Care seems like a new and overused term on high vibe Instagram accounts, but there is some true healing with self-care.
Keep it simple and basic. It doesn’t always need to be an hour bath with wine and candles. If you have time for that activity, then by all means do it! However, self-care can be 10-15 minute activities you can do two to three times per day.
Self-Care is the beginning of re-wiring your subconscious to better serve you. When you love on yourself regularly, filling your soul with things you find joy in, you start to recognize things in a more positive way… this includes the way you see yourself. Self-Care is a non-negotiable activity you should do daily!
Examples: Enjoying a favorite snack, swimming, reading, glass of wine, bath, mediation, going for a quick walk, listening to a favorite song, stopping to smell the roses, or enjoying a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee shop. Self-care is not work or household chores. Oh yes, and paying bills does not fall into the self-care category either!
The point here is to do something you find a 100% joy with, in turn, your soul is fed and you will feel the best about yourself! It’s best to have a self-care list available and ready, because life happens.
Affirmations counteract negative statements made to yourself. When you repeatedly tell yourself you are not good enough, this information goes to the subconscious and you start to believe it, the same is true for positive statements. While this may sound complicated there is a simple and effective solution most of us don’t practice.
To start, list the negative stories you tell yourself daily.
For each negative statement, write an “I am” response.
Start telling yourself the “I am” statements instead of the negative ones. Again, this it is most effective to have the list ready to go when your negative self-talk starts.
Example: I am fat and ugly; no one wants to date me. The counter statement is, “I am enough,” or “I am beautiful and worthy of all the world has to give me.” When you state the positive affirmations out loud, those will be received by the subconscious and become the truths you live by…. resulting in true love for yourself.
When you love yourself, it shows up in all areas of your life! You will find that your relationships with kids, spouse, work, family, and friends get better. In short, you can’t afford not to love yourself!
I know I know, I have said it as well! “I don’t like meditation, I fall asleep, I can’t focus on anything for 40 minutes! I am just not a meditation person.”
Part of the reason I was unable to delve into meditation was due in part to my ignorance of what meditation actually is. Meditation is bringing things into the present moment, feeling your body and checking in with yourself to see what feelings are arising.
Again, beginning to love yourself should be easy, it does not need to be activities that are complicated. I recommend the Headspace app to get started with meditations, this is where I started and it was a game changer for me. A quick and easy five minute meditation can change the course of your entire day. Don’t believe me? Try it out!
Once I added daily meditations to my routine, I was able to see things with a clearer mind and maintain the positive energy that I created with self-care and affirmations. I found myself going from five minute to twenty minute meditations in less than two weeks. Finally! I had found the right form of meditation that worked for me and now it serves and re-energizes me!
Loving yourself takes practice and intention, it doesn’t need to be complicated, it’s free, and you can start participating today. In addition, these are practices that you can teach your young children and they will naturally grow up loving and respecting themselves in the way they should.
So go ahead, start doing crazy self-care, say those positive affirmations, put on the headphones, meditate, and be the beauty you were always meant to be!