In every wrong relationship I've ever had, something deep inside of me always knew that it was…off. I instinctively understood that we weren't going to live happily ever after, and was never too surprised when things did crash due to our lack of compatibility or just bad timing. Don't get me wrong, each breakup still absolutely hurt, but I always knew when something wasn't in the divine plan.
All that changed when I met my current boyfriend, Scott. From day one, the question wasn't “How do I know if we should break up?” Instead, it became “How can I be sure he's the one?” The number of times I had been disappointed and hurt made me hesitant to accept with my brain what my heart already knew – that Scott was the guy for me. Still, considering that we live 4,000 miles apart and were facing over a year of long distance before we could even potentially reunite for good, I needed to be sure.
After meditating on it, I finally realized the five things that are present in our relationship that have simply not ever existed for me before. Those five things made me understand that he isn't just worth waiting for, he's absolutely the one.
1. He's genuinely thoughtful.
Even though we live thousands of miles apart, he still checks in to see what I've eaten that day, how I've slept, and to check on me emotionally. My feelings and well-being are a top priority to him, and it shows in his words and actions.
2. He's funny, but not mean-spirited.
Scott is one of the most intelligent and clever people I've ever met. Sparring with him has made me smarter simply by having to keep up with his pace, but I've never been the target of his joke. He manages to playfully tease me and engage in stimulating banter without making me feel put down or unworthy.
3. I'm not afraid to be honest with him.
I know that if I ever have a problem with him, I can simply address it without him blowing up at me or trying to gaslight me into believing that I'm actually the issue or that I'm overreacting. He takes what I have to say seriously, and he's open to hearing if he's said or done something that might have crossed a line.
4. I still have fun with him.
I simply enjoy his company. He's a lot of fun to hang out with, both in public where I can proudly show him off or in private when we're watching a movie or cuddling his dog. Being with him makes little things like grocery shopping into a bonding experience, and even texting on our phones while sitting next to each other feels warm and close because of the emotional connection.
5. I wouldn't change anything about him.
I think this is the most important thing on the list. If you told me that Scott would always be the person that he is today, that nothing about how he treats me or his ambition/intelligence or his energy would ever change, I would thank God for making me the luckiest woman in the entire world to get to spend my life with him.
Tell us in the comments: how did you tell if your lover was the one?