After having a daughter earlier this year, I find myself eager to exemplify a version of a man she can truly admire. A man who can be her hero. A man who is a true gentleman.
After searching through several books and countless articles, I was left only with shallow examples and definitions lacking wisdom. Nobody else needs to hear that being a gentlemen is opening a door for your girlfriend.
A gentleman is a man who understands the value of another. His candor is compassionate, thoughtful, polite and brave. He is strong, anchored, and humble. He is a protector and provider.
He is a one who learns while maintaining respect for authority. He is well groomed, well planned, and well prepared. And most importantly, a true gentleman has maintained a good name.
In my limited bout of research, I found a few items which resonated with my heart. I have listed them below.Disclaimer: This article is not anti-feminist nor aimed to make women feel they “need” a man. My intention is only to articulate a healthy definition of an honorable man.
4 Signs Of A True Gentlemen
1. He Puts All Women Before Himself
Being a gentlemen has no bounds of an intimate relationship. It is a badge a man should carry with him at all times. A true gentlemen treats his mother, sisters, female friends and all feminine acquaintances with admiration and regard. He is in constant search of ways to honor and uphold the value of his female counterpart. Whether through listening, defending or affirming, a true gentlemen is a source of strength to all women, not just the one he desires.
2. He Teaches A Women Her Value
In a world full of voices tearing women down, a gentlemen replaces lies with truth. He goes beyond merely telling her valuable words and simplistic compliments. He is deliberate and purposeful in his actions to restore emotional order in her heart and remind her to see how valuable she truly is.
3. His Confidence Is In Wisdom, Not Power
Too often, men believe that money or power or influence drive a woman's attraction. While a true gentlemen may attain these things, he is able to sustain his confidence even without them. Furthermore, he seeks out wisdom from those who have earned it and surrounds himself with leaders who have permission to speak into his life. A true gentleman is one who's mind is healthy and in constant alert for information that may distort what is truly important.
4. He Is Wise With His Finances
He who lacks the ability to manage his finances lacks the ability to manage a relationship. As many of you know, finance is an important component to every marriage. A man's personal finances are a great early detector of his ability to steward a future spouse or family. Does he make his money honorably? Does he have debt? Does he buy items outside of his pay grade to impress people? Does he hide or lie about money? What does he save for? Is he generous with others? These answers offer deep insight to the heart of man's true desires. As it says in the Bible, “where a man's treasure is, there his heart will be also.”
What do you see as signs of a “true gentleman”? Does my list fit in your definition?