We humans can be so tough on ourselves. We beat ourselves up over the smallest things, yet we often easily forgive those around us.
The self-reflective thoughts we communicate to ourselves control both the way we feel and the way we act — ultimately turning from an emotion into a behavior and from our thoughts into a reality.
If you feel this way, then it is probably time to recognize that what you say to yourself –- as well as how you say it –- can make a significant impact on your life path. The good news is you can give yourself a break! Stop the repetitive, self-disruptive talks and change your behavior to shape habits for a better future.
We have daily inner chatter, and the truth of the matter is that if we practiced regular, positive self-talk we could become kinder — not only to ourselves but the people around us.
I am living proof of this. Positive inner-chatter is what allowed me to get past disruptive negativity, and I’m sure it will help you get through yours. If you don’t feel so good about yourself, if you think that your self-esteem is a bit low, or if you beat yourself up regularly because of bad decision-making or mistakes, consider that there are some simple changes you can make to help yourself. By becoming fully aware of our thoughts, we can catch the ones that are negative and stop them in their tracks.
The following nine tips will help you create a positive mindset. With some practice, you can completely control the way you think, and it is those habitual thought patterns that will ultimately determine your level of happiness.
1. Be mindful.
Make more conscious choices about what you want flowing into your mind and your life. Be aware and think about what you don't want to let in any more.
2. Focus on you.
Look for the time and energy to focus on you and your abilities. Be specific in your thinking about your own desires and goals, and clearly identify the things that will make you happy.
Accept that you will make mistakes along the way; it is part of life and being human. Be ready to forgive yourself and realize you are not going to get anywhere by putting yourself down.
4. Slowly change your daily routine.
Identify your routine and one-by-one remove the negative elements. This may include a simple shift in your morning routine, like one minute of saying kind, encouraging statements to yourself. Remember to keep them short and easy to remember.
5. Hang out with positive people.
Ensure that the people in your life are positive and supportive, and continue to nurture these relationships. Positive people encourage you to be kind to yourself, as they only want the best for you. They will inspire you to see the positive in every situation.
6. Laugh it off.
When your inner critic starts dumping on you, don’t acknowledge it –- ignore it and laugh it off. Always remember not to say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else.
7. Remind yourself of your achievements.
Look at how much you have accomplished in the past to motivate you to keep moving forward. Always think about what can go right, rather than what can go wrong.
8. Look for the opportunity.
Look for the opportunities in situations. Do not dwell on potential problems or something you cannot change. Ask yourself what you need to do to turn this situation into an opportunity.
Plan and take some time to become aware of what you want to change. Think about the following: what is important to you, your vision/desires, and how you will get there. It's important to take small steps and not to expect it to happen overnight.
I hope this has provided some motivation for you to think about how you communicate with yourself in a way that is more beneficial to your wellbeing. The preceding advice is offered in hopes it may help you form positive thinking habits. Remember that one of the most important investments is the investment in yourself, your own habits, and your own happiness.
Julie Furlong is a designer, marketer, mum, founder and owner of the Sydney-based agency D+M Pty Ltd and, most recently, fledging life blogger. Having toiled in the fields of design and marketing for over 29 years in a number of capacities (in both Sydney and London), Julie decided to launch her own agency. The company, is still successful eighteen years later, now providing creative services to a number of large multinational organizations. Throughout her career, she has learned a number of valuable insights, both professional and personal ones. Through her blog, juliefurlongnotes.com she has set herself a new challenge of sharing these insights in a way that may help readers live happier, simpler, and more successful lives.