Acting like a school-girl who’d got invited to a disco by the boy she likes (wait … are there still discos or have I just verified my awkward teens happened in the 80’s?) I giggled in amusement at the delight and coincidences life presents. I was recounting to a friend that I’d been automatically entered in a draw to have my mortgage paid off, which evoked the chuckling response from my friend, “Of course you did!”
I’m thinking of getting a house cleaner but would love it to be a referral. The next day a mum at work mentions she’s having her house cleaned by a reputable and local service. Done – locked in.
I question my husband about what screen saver I should put on my laptop and two weeks later, I come across a lifestyle site … that offers free screensavers as their opt-in offer. Awesome – thank you universe, I’m all signed up!
My sisters joke about the ease in which I appear to experience life. “Get Catherine to ask for it” they suggest, implying the result will be better than the norm. I’m happy to admit, it usually is. Lucky me, hey?
But sometimes I'm embarrassed to admit this isn't how I've always experienced life.
I used to not be so fortunate, nor happy. I didn’t used to find bliss in the small things or be able to find joy in something as simple as a screensaver. These coincidences probably still happened to me, but I couldn’t see them. Instead, I was too damn lost. No mojo in me, that’s for sure. I was sad, depressed and had severed all relationships … except with the boy from the disco.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer
Sitting in my tiny duplex at 21 years old, another day of feeling alone and hopeless, I heard a statement that would be the catalyst to change my life.
“Anger is always masking another emotion. Find what’s underneath the anger and then you can heal.” – Dr John Gray
On that day, I actioned Dr John Gray’s suggestion, author of Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus, and began to write.
In this unknown-at-the-time victim mindset, I wrote to everyone who had ‘wronged’ me, until finally and without intent or consciousness, I found I was writing to me.
The words on the page were resentment for what I had accepted over my life. Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve led a great existence of which I’m (now) SO grateful for, but unfortunately when younger, had fallen into a woe-is-me pattern of, you guessed it, blame, feeling unloved, unsupported blah, blah, blah. As my words became focused on me, I was no longer entertaining the idea my circumstances were the fault of someone outside of me. I realised I had the power to make events mean ANYTHING. I. WANTED. Whoop whoop – mic drop! This moment of moving from victim to ownership was literally the moment my life changed.
I wrote and wrote until the angels sang Hallelujah and what seemed a literal weight lifted from me. All this time and I was responsible for my own $#*@nik! Who knew?
If you need to find your mojo, it’s all good – I’ve got you, I promise. If you’re searching for a lighter life, for a life where you’re inspired, joyful and wholly YOU, the answer is this…
Own Your Stuff
You have to own your stuff. No excuses.
Take your ‘victim’ thoughts (be honest – you know you have them) and flip them. Shift your thoughts until they’re aligned with the person you want to be and the feelings you want to feel.
Example – My boss is so rude to me – how can I possibly be in a good mood with her around?
- I have an income – yay for me. It’s certainly better than the alternative…
- I’m responsible for who I want to be. Always. End point.
- Maybe I’m about to engage with a recently widowed mother of two young children – do I really want to appear down, sullen or cranky?
I’m a single mum with no support – I’m never going to get anywhere. Life’s too hard.
- I’m a mum! How fortunate for me. There are women who would give anything to have a child … or have their child back.
- I’m sure there’s thousands of single mums doing just fine – Google, here I come.
- I’ll organise a chat with my child’s preschool teacher. Maybe I’m craving a little adult connection.
Try some of your own. What’s the self-talk story you buy into that holds you back? Good. Now look for new meaning you can give it until you’ve created a new genre, so to speak. Change your self-talk to something that supports you.
Watching women grasp the power of owning their stuff is truly inspiring. Give your life-events a meaning that serves the woman and legacy you crave and watch your mojo light up like it’s New Years Eve.
Energy, sparks, love and hope. They’re all within your reach.
Mojo it up lady – you’ve got this thing called life under control. Do you know how I know? Because you’re you. Just perfect and oh so capable.
Dream on and stay wonderful,