“Like creating a masterpiece, quitting is an art: you have to decide what to keep within the frame and what to keep out.” ― Richie Norton
Most of us will quit at something at some point in our lives. It could be a dead-end job, an abusive relationship, or a bad habit; people cut ties all the time and move on. It’s the way of the world. However, quitting is not always easy. You might say, for instance, that you plan on leaving your job to chase after your dream. Then six months down the line, you’re so racked with guilt and excuses that you end up staying.
In fact, that’s not so bad. Neither is it a wrong choice. But for most folks, quitting is more than a push of emotions. For those moments when you’re 100 percent sure that this is what you need to do, here are
6 reasons to remind you why leaving is usually a good thing.
1. You Need Space To Grow and Develop
According to a book by Doug Strycharczyk, Developing Mental Toughness in Young People: Approaches to Achievement, Well-being and Positive Behaviour, children need to be left alone in order to encourage their growth and development. By being left to their lonesome, they should be able to create their own amusement, as well as learn independence. The same is true for adults.
You won’t grow unless you’re left on your own and are able to experience new things.
Whether you want to quit a job or a relationship, think about how it’s been helping you grow (or how it hasn’t). Be brutally honest with yourself. Were you the same person as you were before? If not, do you like what you see in the mirror now? Do you feel that your current situation is holding you back? Carefully analyze yourself and what you want in the future.
2. You Can't Let Other People Be Unhappy
Quitting shouldn’t always be a negative thing. For example: if you have become unhappy and unproductive at work, don’t you think you’re doing both you and your boss a disservice by NOT leaving?
Sometimes, the only thing that’s keeping us is guilt and plenty of “what ifs.” Society has drilled into us that quitting is for losers; if you want to succeed, you should keep pushing forward. However, they failed to mention one crucial thing: there’s a time for everything. A time to stay, and a time to leave.
Are you in a despondent relationship right now? Do you feel hopeless that things will ever get better? Although it’s true that it’s usually worst before the sun shines, you should also be realistic. There are several situations that can become over long periods. The more you delay leaving, the worst it becomes for all people involved.
3. You Need To Chase after Something
It’s a fact that we often need to make sacrifices in order to attain what we truly want. Sadly, these sacrifices usually mean quitting something. But the real question is: how much do you want this dream?
A close friend of mine was recently placed in a similar situation. Her dream is to become a lawyer, which means she needed to finish four years of law school. Unfortunately, she had to choose between that and keeping a day job. It was difficult, but in the end, she decided to quit her present employment so she could focus on her studies. Yes, she’s faced with trials everyday (like money matters) – but she was willing to take on these challenges in exchange for the chance of living the life she wants.
Dreams after all, are not achieved with our eyes closed.
4. Wallowing In Guilt Isn't Going To Finish Anything
In a study conducted by psychologists Claire Adams and Mark Leary, they tested people on a diet for tendencies to indulge during feelings of guilt. The result? The group who were left to feel guilty about what they did during the experiment (which was to eat candy and doughnuts) ate more than those who received “feel-good” messages.
This tells us that when we let go of the guilt, we help ourselves move on from the past and exert more willpower in later decisions.
It’s going to be tough – but learn to forgive yourself. People make mistakes, but that’s not what defines us. If you keep thinking that your boss will me mad at you for quitting, or that you keep slipping back to bad habits, you’ll never get anything done. Do your best to change for the better, but forgive yourself for slip-ups.
5. You Need To Realize Your Own Mistakes
There are always two possibilities whenever we let go of something: either we’ll be happier about it, or we’ll regret it. But you you’ll never know unless you actually DO it.
Once you decide to quit your job, your relationship, or your bad habit, there’s always the chance that it’s going to end badly. However, it’s a gamble you need to take if you want to change. This goes back to the question of how much you want something.
Now you can dream about moving on to better pastures forever – or you could take a leap of faith today.
6. You’re Just Making a Choice
Guilt, like every other emotion, is normal. It’s okay to feel responsible for something, and it’s alright to have nagging doubts. It’s just part of the process of letting go. If you didn’t feel these things, that could even be a bad sign because then it would mean that you never cared in the first place!
After all is said and done, accept the fact that you’re simply making a choice. No matter how challenging a situation is, even if it hurts, someone needs to make a decision – and stick to it. When it’s all over, like our feelings, the negative things will pass. By then, you have (hopefully) learned something new, gained some progress, and changed for the better.
Maybe It’s Time
“At the end, someone or something always gives up. It is either you give up and quit, or the obstacle or failure gives up and makes way for your success to come through.” ― Idowu Koyenikan
Quitting a job, a relationship, or a habit doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. At times, it’s even necessary. The hard part is knowing WHEN to give up. Take as much time as you can afford. Go away and reflect if you must; but return with a steady mind. Only you can know when it’s really time to quit.
Cris Antonio is the Chief Editor of Scoopfed.com. She’s currently focused on helping healthcare workers find better career opportunities through Locum Tenens. Aside from writing, Cris also enjoys painting, collecting toys, and reading German novels.