7 Must Do’s While You’re Single

Dale Partridge
169
3482

Singlehood doesn’t have to be a time of suffering or loneliness. It’s not a place of deficiency or lack. Singlehood should be celebrated and explored – these are the years where many of us actually find out who we are.

So who are you? Do you even know? Do you live out your singleness in a way that brings clarity to your purpose? Is your journey one of excitement, variety, and learning?

My point is this, you can do certain things while you're single that you can't do as easily when you're married. Take it from me. My wife and I just had our first baby – a wonderful blessing to for sure – but definitely a game changer. Even activities like going out to dinner or hanging with friends have changed for this season.

We always hear people always say, “hindsight is 20/20”. So here's my perfect suggestions for those who are single 🙂

7 Must-Do’s While You’re Single…

1. Live alone.

As hard as it is to live alone, you get to know yourself in an extreme, intense, and deeply satisfying way. It teaches us to live happily in solitude. It provides quiet to think. It allows us to become self reliant. I lived alone for 6 years before we got married and I believe, if nothing else, that time provided me a great deal of confidence in my ability to survive.

2. Quit your job.

It feels so good to take a job and shove it (and not be affecting anyone else’s livelihood). It doesn’t seem as irresponsible to up and quit when it’s just your mouth you’re feeding. So if the job isn’t right for you, get out of there. Don’t waste another minute – this is your life we're talking about.

3. Fly to a foreign country by yourself.

I was nervous on my first solo trip to Mexico, even though now I almost always have to travel alone. You learn so much about who you are in how you handle foreign currency, foreign accents, and foreign chaos. It's a cultural adventure and doing it alone, without worrying of checking in, when to call, and when to be back, is quite exhilarating.

4. Spend a weekend with a married couple your age.

Listen to how they speak to one another. Notice their non-verbals. Ask about the rhythms of their daily life. Make a mental note: marriage is not perfect, nor is it the solution to what ails you. Be happy for your married friends and satisfied in where you’re at today. Know that many of us stay single forever, and that's great. Life is about community, food, faith , travel, relationships, and love. Not just marriage. 

5. Take a long trip with your best friend.

Plan a trip you won’t be able to take once you are married because your spouse will either: a) want to join or b) not be able to survive the time without you. You can backpack through Southeast Asia, staying at random hostels, or couch surf your way through Western Europe. I have a friend Jeddidiah Jenkins who over 18 months (right now) is riding his bike from Oregon to Patagonia with a few of his close friends. Get out there and go.

7. Be a good wingwoman or wingman (and watch Top Gun).

It’s not always about you. Sometimes your best friends need your full-on support in their pursuit of risk and romance. Finding someone to love and putting yourself out there is not easy, but with a good friend at your side who eloquently drops the high points of your resume during a conversation with an exciting suitor, it can become much less complicated.

Singlehood doesn’t have to be a time of suffering or loneliness. It’s not a place of deficiency or lack. Here's 7 Must Do's While You're Single.

169 COMMENTS

  1. Ahhhh Dale!!!! I am single, I just quit my job, I date a lot (but two weeks ago I decided to take 3 months ‘off’ to be completely single. I’ve moved to London by myself four years ago and am still here. And I live alone. This article reassured me that I am making great decisions 🙂 One thing I really have to work on is being happy for my friends who are married, knowing that God has a different calling and timing for all of us, and we need to encourage each other and never let what we don’t have make us resentful of another — that just proves that we aren’t trusting God enough to know that we have everything we need at every given moment of our lives. <3 What you are doing, I hope to do, soon.

    • Your comment really made me think about my current situation…I’m 30, single with no children. Most of my friends have children, however, most are not married. So many times as women we look at each other and want what others have like marriage and children and fail to be grateful for the things that we have. We fail to embrace our singleness and if we are in relationships we rush ourselves into marriage because of our “biological clock”. You’re exactly right, God has His own timing for us and until then, we should celebrate our singleness.

      • The crazy thing is that I know I am not ready for marriage or kids it is just the immense social pressure of having to have someone lined up. I felt the Lord tell me once that I could find someone in my own effort, most certainly, but He couldn’t promise me I wouldn’t be hurt (and maybe bored) but if I trust Him and allow Him to be sovereign over my life He promises that I will have tremendous, undiminished joy. I think the being completely and utterly single thing is really important in order to allow the Lord to pour down blessings onto you :):) He is a wonderful God.

  2. Hy
    great article so I live in Pakistan hence cannot move out (its not something girls can do here but i really wish i could).. though i took a trip to Bangladesh for an internship it was a great experience;lived alone, traveled it was great.
    I hope i can travel more now and find a friend to travel with.

  3. I love everything about this! The only things on the list I haven’t done are travel to a foreign country alone and take a trip with my best friend.

    I learned so much about myself while I lived alone, I miss just being by myself and can’t wait to move back out of my mom’s and to a new city where I don’t really know anyone once summer rolls around.

    I just quit my job 2 weeks ago and I’ve never been happier. I’ve already found 2 others doing what I really love and am looking forward to starting over the next couple of weeks.

    The last time I dated anyone was about 7 years ago and I can’t put into words how great it feels to not have to worry about anyone but myself. I hated him constantly asking where I was, who I was with and what I was doing whenever I wasn’t home or it had been a few hours since we last spoke. I grew up in a house watching my dad constantly try to control every move my mom made and as much as I hated the situation and wish I had never witnessed certain things, I’m also glad I did because he’s shown me all the things to steer clear of with the guys that I meet and choose to see.

  4. Amazing! This was my favorite article! I have been single for 2 years now and I’m still not even close to looking for a relationship. In fact I have done everything on this list from flying solo to Paris, quitting my job, moving into a 2 bedroom alone! Thanks so much for sharing

    One thing I would add is just embrace being single! Be in a relationship with yourself first. It’s the most fun you will ever have especially if you are young.

  5. I need to start following this advice. I’ve been single for awhile, I do live alone and have been feeling “lonely” so thanks for writing this to help me find my path to happiness.

  6. i’ve been having a hard time since I just got out of my first serious relationship and putting so much pressure on myself to find something again. Even though I am still young, I’ve had this voice in my ear telling me that life moves so fast that I need to find some again but reading this article made me realize that I can be alone and it’s ok. I’ve done so much before I was in a relationship; I’ve traveled to Rome all alone when I was in college and lived there for over a month, I live alone now and I work at a place I enjoy!

    Many of my friends are married or in very serious relationships but I would never resent them for it and I would love to take a trip with them!

    Thanks for this article, it really help! 🙂

    • Jade, this is very normal in our culture. If your desire is to be married, think of life in seasons. Enjoy each one. Take your time. But be ready for transition when it comes.

  7. Being single isn’t always fun but it definitely is rewarding. I love my independence an feel I am a stronger, wiser woman because of it. Knowing that I don’t have to depend on anyone else for happiness or peace of mind is very freeing. I do what I want when I want. It’s my game and my rules.

  8. Could you address the “loneliness” people tend to feel when single? This all sounds great, but I feel many people battle with not having someone to share intimate things with. I’ve spent a lot of time being single. I don’t jump around. But we all get to the time and age where we want to share new experiences and our life with another. So, if we are not “prowling” and still single, what can people do to be completely content with being alone?

    Thanks for the articles.

    • Surround yourself with an amazing group of friends. I’ve always had many friends one-on-one, but having a solid tight group is very different. A group where everyone is a unique character but somehow they complement each other. There’s no competition between people, just good fun, and even if one or two of you are busy, the rest of the group can still hang out. Be ready to do everything from partying and travelling to staying in with a cup of tea. Such groups are hard to find sometimes, but can really turn your life around.

      • This is very true for me! Got off a long term relationship with regrets and guilt for almost a year. After joining a group of friends, it turned my life around and i’m better and positive now!

  9. I say the best way is to stay away from any negative people even of they happen to be your friends , hang out with positive people it will change your life , it may take time and try mediation as well I’ve been doing it for years and it helps .

  10. I’ve been single for a year now and am not even close to looking for a new relationship. I think staying out of the dating game entirely is a goodpplan. You need to know who you are in order to know the kind of person you would like to share your life with. Great advice! Thanks

  11. Take a break..go to some place amidst the nature. Meditate! Cleanse ur mind, body and soul.. Let go off your past.. And discover the New You!

  12. Trust the Lord’s timing. Trust that it will come. Then you can focus on living life to the happiest and fullest, learn lots of wonderful things, enrich the lives of many, and not waste another minute on worry.

  13. Load up a backpack with the absolute minimum that you can figure out to live with. Be smart: try to keep it within about 12 kg. Fly off to Europe and spend 3 weeks alone. Stay at youth hostels, even if you are not exactly a “youth”. Find where your ancestors came from or find places important to you. Hear a Welsh men’s choir practice. Stand where the novel “The Trumpeter of Krakow” was set. See the last sight that the victims of Auschwitz saw. See “The White Cliffs of Dover”. Do improbable stuff. But perhaps you could take a “wingperson”. Someone for whom this doesn’t seem at all odd. And at the end, you may just find that the “wingperson” is the person you have been looking for all this time. But probably not. So don’t expect much along these lines, and don’t get disappointed. Just go back and do it all again.

  14. Get to know your Maker! There is not an any more intimate relationship than that between one’s self and his/her Maker. He knew us before we were even woven together in our mother’s womb. We are known! Get to know Him!

  15. If at all possible, do something financially responsible for your future. Buy a house, invest, buy shares, talk to a financial planner, buy/start a business, get a qualification – don’t put off looking after yourself until you have a partner.

    • Yes. This is probably the most important. I bought my house at 25 and got married at 35. If I had waited around on a man to buy a house, I would not be in the same good financial situation I am today.

      • This is great advice if you can afford it, sadly with banks asking for large deposits it can be difficult for singletons to get on the property ladder. With my single salary I cant get a mortgage for the house I live in even though mortgage payments would be less than the monthly rent.

        • Louise, there are many things you can do other than buy a house. Look at buying an investment property in another town that is cheaper, consider going in with a friend or family member, or as I said in my original comment, consider shares, investing in a business, getting financial advice etc.
          I know so many people who just say “I can’t afford it” without getting advice or really going through their options.

    • Very important advice Lucinda and Hannah. One of my dreams is to be financially independent, and having the proper mindset at an early age will make this possible.

  16. Figure out what makes you feel good and make those things into habits. That way, when you settle down with someone who might not need the same healthy things you need, you already have a routine and know how to do it by yourself. Basically, learn healthy living self-sufficiency.

  17. Traveling solo is a MUST while you are single. There are hundreds of other things you can do while you are without your partner – get a photo shoot done, write a book, volunteer a cause that you believe in, go back to your roots, meet your grandparents, do as many creative and interesting things as possible while you are with ‘your pretty self’. 🙂

    • Totally agree. I love being married and wish I had spent some more time with married folks before. 🙂

  18. i quit my job 2 month ago as it is very hard to please everyone at my working place and one thing for sure i dont fancy it .so ,i start running a small bussiness that required me to fully used my interest and making others happy with it .even there is no many return in financial aspect ,come to my surprise i happy with it ,that kind of feeling i never get if i didnt take a risk of quitting my job .now i feel bless doing thing i love and looking foward to do everything stated in your list above 🙂

  19. I think the biggest mistake people are making is that they are actually afraid of being alone or not finding the right partner or even missing him/her because they are happy as single – it is so true that you get to know yourself so well by living by yourself!
    People should trust themselves and when you are happy you have that spark that will make other people happy as well 😉
    I always keep in mind: carpe diem

  20. I understand the travelling.. But what if you want to travel but have zero money to do so? Also, what if all your best friends are in committed relationships? Then what?

    • Well I think that’s the beauty of life! Not everything needs to be experienced right this second. Decide where you want to travel and start saving! As for friends, well I think if they are truly your friends they will always make time for you or try to. I’m not promising anything big, but at the least, I would hope you would feel honest enough to be open with them about setting at least one day perhaps once a month to spend time with them. It’s the little things in life that I believe are the most important and the ones we cherish. You have your whole life still, don’t fret, it’s not the end yet! 🙂

    • Hey Camille, that’s a good question. Only a few of the list items include the need for money. But having a steady income is an important step in everyone’s life. As for all your friends in relationships, go out and meet some other quality people. There are a 1,000 best friends out there if we just say hi 🙂 You’ll be fine.

  21. I have no point of comparison, having been single all my life, but my goodness — enjoy life – it is rich, full, and beautiful. 🙂 Volunteer for things you’re passionate about, slow down and write essays, deepen your relationships with your family and friends, see how you are already worthy in Jesus. If a relationship will come, say “Thank You!” If it doesn’t, realize there’s so much to say “Thank You!” for, too. 🙂

    Really liked the ‘spend time with couples’ and especially ‘be the best wingman/wingwoman’! 🙂 Thanks for sharing, Dale!

  22. I’m really enjoying reading your articles 🙂 I left my abusive husband a year ago, and took my three children with me. We were married for 7 years when I left, and now I find myself single and not quite 30! I have found it a huge adjustment being single again, but i realise now how much I lost myself – he was my first boyfriend, and the plan was to “grow together”. The problem was that I grew his way, and got crushed. I am finding it exciting discovering new things about myself. I have an interesting balance of making whatever decisions I want but having to stay at least a bit sensible because I have 3 little people depending on me. My advice is this: PLEASE find yourself and know to your absolute core who you are. And don’t change to please someone. Don’t compromise. Being unique and wholly you is precious and not a gift to be wasted.

    • I know what u mean. I did the same but it was 4 kids and almost 13 yrs. I enjoy my freedom! We watch doctor who marathons and craft our days away when I’m off. For some it seems silly but people always take things for granted. These simple things give me life I had lost while I was married. A word of caution though, I found when I did have another relationship I started to lose myself again. My advice is to learn to stand up and be yourself no matter what. If they don’t love who you are ( even your quirks) they are not the right person!

    • Whoa Angela. That’s heavy. Glad you are in a healthier position. Work on forgiveness so you can enter into your new journey with a clean heart. You’re awesome.

    • This is my story too. 25 years with someone I started dating at 18. Two children later I left. Not because he was abusive or anything bad. I drifted from him in pursuit of myself. Many may judge my choice to leave but my message here is please get to know who you truly are absent of anyone else before you get married. You cannot fully love someone else until you learn to love yourself and if who you are is wrapped up in someone else’s identity, you will be hopelessly lost. “To do” list or not, take the time to know yourself and be enough and be complete for you. Then there is room for the right person to complement you, not complete you.

  23. I was single for 4 years!! In those 4 years, I ziplined, rock climbed, jumped cliffs, went white water rafting.I flew to L.A. & San Diego numerous times, went to Minneapolis, partied in Vegas like no one’s business, drove to Austin, Texas & raged at 6th street..I also did 5k runs for 4 consecutive years & until now (Komen Race, American Diabetes Association, Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, etc)..all that & more! Wow!!! I must say, those were the best 4 years of my life! It was very fulfilling & I ultimately found myself, gotten to know what I want out of life or out of a relationship. Not to mention I went to school & worked at the same time. Still working on my chemical engineering degree. And last year I married the man God made for me!

  24. Read Or get a postgrad degree. Try different hairstyles. Volunteer. Find ‘what the world needs’ and be a part of it.

  25. I was single for more than a year before I met the man I’m loving now every day. I was living abroad by myself, taking my post grad degree, in a country where I never thought I’d be, where language was a barrier and the culture was totally different. I enjoyed every bit of it!

    I wanted to be free that I didn’t even entertain suitors and just went on being
    me, though I agreed to date a guy friend once during that year and that was
    just about it because I knew it won’t work with him, from the beginning we were
    really meant to be good friends and kept it that way:). During my first few
    months, I traveled every weekend and braved the places on my own even if I had
    to do “charades” just to make locals understand what I was trying to
    ask (directions, menu, subway, etc). Though I already knew how to budget during
    my undergrad years (because I lived in a different city from my family), it was
    in that country where I had to be totally independent! I couldn’t just go to my
    parents anytime if I had some emergency (financially) and I learned to be more
    and more practical. I joined a photography club that taught me so much and even
    enhanced my love for photography. I met one of my best friends there whose dorm I’d crash during weekends whenever her roommate was away. We did stuff
    spontaneously, like walked til 3am because the subways were already closed by
    the time we finished our dinner (we ate super late), ate different types of cuisine
    every weekend, coffee shop hopped or restaurant hopped, took a 12midnight train for a 6hour train ride to a beach for a coffee festival (yes, we were/are
    coffee addicts), became friends with a band members of a latin band we often
    saw playing in the subways, made friends with guests of the local owner of a
    guesthouse whom we also made friends with, studied overnight in our favorite
    coffee shop (we literally would stay there overnight and take turns sleeping
    during our exams because her roommate would be in the dorm and I have no place
    to stay for the weekend; the main campus of my university was in the big city
    but I lived 2.5hours away by train in the annex campus where I did my lab
    research during the weekdays), and it was there that I was so free that I did
    the fallen angel pose so many times in public (even in the subway, train and
    elevator that I have a collection of photos doing my “signature pose” in
    different places).

    I’m in a long distance relationship
    now but my boyfriend and I are just working things really well to prepare ourselves
    to settle down together. I’m glad it’s him that I’ve met because he encourages
    me to do things I love! He supports my decision on my career and wants me to go
    for the best opportunities there are. Now I do yoga every day and he’s even
    happier seeing me do what I love more each day. We’re just looking forward to
    that day when we’ll finally don’t have to do facetime just to see each other.
    In God’s time. 🙂

    Thanks for this great article, Dale! 🙂

  26. Great article. did all the things you said. except for that quitting of the job. I love my job, in fact all the other 6 revolves around it. I live alone, traveled with bestfriends, share moments with couple friends, been flying to alot of foreign countries, alone, thus my job. im a good wingwoman to friends and families. its been 3 years that im single. above all, i try to be happy and be satisfied with myself, so if the time comes to be with somebody God has given me, il be as ready as i can be.

  27. I REFUSE TO LIVE MY LIFE BY A LIST. There are no must dos in life. Also how about mentioning something more constructive like higher studies, learning a language or an instrument? Ridiculous list. and the same things can also be done when in a relationship.

  28. great article! but I think that those are the things noone should ever forget about. No matter if You’re single or not. For me, Love is when You give another person more freedom than she give to herself and You get the same in return. And also Love by it self is the answer for all the rest. The trick is, not to disturb Love do it’s job 🙂

  29. When you have extra cash, gift yourself with clothes or gadgets or shoes or a day at the spa. Anything to pamper yourself with and enjoy the fruit of your labor.

  30. Crash a bike or a car that you drive, which belongs to you or your sibling into some random standing object and get busted and bruised, unable to work or do anything for at least a month…Remember! before you do this you shud have enough money to pay for your bils and other expenses, make sure that nobody other than urself is burdened greatly by this act of moral masochism! Heheheheheheh

  31. I would add the ‘early to bed, early to rise’ note which seems quite forgotten. The day is such a beautiful time to do the things you love. And who knows at what stage of life you may be forcefully ‘sleep deprived’!

  32. Interesting. What else can you do to celebrate being single? Hmm, there, the MUST DO’S WHILE YOU’RE SINGLE:
    1) Having dinner or lunch at a nice restaurant, on your own. Order something you like. Have some wine. Feel each bite of your food, each sip of your wine. You’re alive. It’s a good thing. Relax and enjoy.

    2) Observe people around you. What do you see? Couples? Family? What else? Have fun paying attention to their body language. Analyze. It’s like you are the producer of the movie playing. Imagine what these people’s lives are like. Here you go, being fun & creative!

    3) Have fun hanging out with your friends. Things change when in a relationship. You are most probably gonna change as well. So, make the most out of your hommies! Random plans, chitchats, drinking all night long! do all the silly things that you enjoy with your gang. Have fun!

    4) Be spontaneous & random (Just like quitting your job) Go watch a movie in the cinema alone. Dance on the tables (sounds like a teenage thing to do, but really, you’re single for now. you have no one to embarrass but yourself.) Kiss a stranger (another common teenage thing. but it’s alright. you’re single. you can do it once.) Kiss two people on the same day/night (yeah, I know, really teenage thing. but seriously, this is the kind of thing you won’t do if you’re in a committed relationship unless you’re an asshole. So yeah, doing sth totally random like that, being a little crazy, sounds okay to me.)

    5) Have a taste for adventure. It’s never too late to be doing the things, the fun things/sports you’ve always wanted to do. Bungee jumping, scuba diving, Quad, Zipline, sky diving.. etc.. the list is exhaustive. but really, it’s the time to feel good about yourself, to feel the adrenaline rush in your veins and feel alive. So, “seize the day” and make the most out of it!

    6) Meditate. On a more serious note, I think meditation helps in self-creation. Closing your eyes and sitting in a calm place will bring you inner peace. And inner peace brings a sense of fulfillment. You will feel complete with meditation. Being single can be a journey, an opportunity to learn, to create, to fix the negatives in your life. Be aware. Live.

      • it is not right actually. you cannot quit your job spontaneously after you are married. You will lose your income if you do like that and there will be some problem about your family fund. Beside, the feeling when eating alone in a restaurant while in single is totally different with eating alone when you are not single. Single=you feel free and Not single=you will still think or worry about your marriage life.

  33. Defiantly it is wonderful because as you are alone there will no pressure by society so if you feel that the real person will come out, carefully tame him because he doesn’t know fear, ego and anything but keep analyze entire day behavior and identify the bad and correct it. so finally what I am trying to say if you r alone feel it and enjoy it.
    without setting the GPS drive to some random place alone minimum 8Hrs from morning, enjoy the surroundings so at some point what are the good things you did, what are all the bad things u have don will get to now return back….. now while you are returning now you will enjoy the moments which you remembered about good things and you will get best alternative solutions for which you have done the bad things….. now goto bed next day you will feel very fresh because now you realized the bad so only good things will get persist in your brain.
    It is my personal experiance from last 10Yrs still I am single and alone….. still enjoying the same…. 🙂

  34. Glad I am hearing something about singles. Otherwise, Valentine’s make me feel so pity about myself. 😛

  35. You are absolutely right! I have done that.. and I know how it tastes.. so many out there does not know how to travel on their own and keep worrying about how is it even possible. Just do it and see.
    I love this one Dale, ‘you will learn who you actually are’.
    All you need to have is an accommodating heart and open eye. What you will end up with will be a free and happy mind.. a mind with less prejudices and misconceptions.

  36. perfectly above is true coz ive done all this things and if u ask me i prefer to be single as much as possible,u will not feel alone as long as you know how to find happiness in different ways and u will find out in yourself who’s the man u deserve not a man u will feel regret when u get married already.Being single is a blessed and being marriage is more blessings when u exactly find the guy who give you the real meaning of commitment.

  37. I am almost 32. I’ve been in 4 serious and all long relationships. The last one ended in January, and it was the worst. I still believe this person is the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with. It usually has taken me at least a year, to heal from a relationship, and I wonder if I will ever heal from this one. Any advice or help, would be much appreciated.

    • I know you’ve probably heard this from a million different people, so it might not help. But I find staying busy is important when you’re without someone you love/loved. My last relationship ended messily, and it took me a while and some rebounds to get over what I did. But what gave me the most solace was the realisation that if I was really meant to be with that person, I would be. The Universe throws the things that you need your way. Even if that sounds like mumbo jumbo to you, try believing it for a minute. Just doing your own thing is hard, and feels like BS, but just know that if that person is really who you’re meant to be with, you’ll be with them.
      Hope that helps at all<3

    • be positive believe god has a better plan for you i only had 2 relationship in my entire life both didn’t work out well. still strong moving on life is like that what ever happens it has to go on stay strong always think positive what ever happens

    • I’m currently going through the exact same thing. I find myself feeling most sad and alone when I’m in bed trying to fall asleep and my mind has nothing better to do than think and analyze every moment we shared together. So as silly as it sounds, I put on netflix and watch something until I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes open, and usually something funny yet relatable. Try Don’t Trust The B In Apt 23… This one made me laugh a lot. Or sometimes you have to put on a sappy movie, maybe one you watched together, and have a good cry. Also, getting lost in a good book. I’m really not a big reader at all, but I adore Nicholas Sparks. I can get totally lost in his books and completely forget reality bc I’ve literally gotten lost in his books. Yes, they are all lovey Dovey for the most part, but I’ve also found that although fictional, it gives me hope that love is still put there for me. Also, try working out. I’ve always been active but I’ve never worked as hard at the gym as now. I have all the time in the world to go and it’s such a stress reliever and the high you feel while getting in shape is amazing. This has really helped me seeing how good of shape I’m getting in shows me in a way what I’m capable of and makes me feel strong both mentally & physically. I hope these things help you, deff worth a try 🙂

      • I was single and childless throughout my 20’s. I found it annoying that people kept telling me that I needed to be with someone. I’ve done many things but I didn’t leave this country. I wish I did though. I now have 2 young kids and in my 30s. Other things to do would be taking yourself to high class restaurants. By yourself a fancy expensive meal. Eat at the bars of restaurants too. No one is gonna be whispering or making faces at you there. 😉

        And who said you had to sleep on a bed? With your head facing the headboard? Sleep sideways, upside down, in the buff etc. Oh, all of this is assuming you live alone. Go out and eat at a diner at 2 am. watch the fun bar crowd come in.

        Many other things too….

        • Oops. I hit reply thinking it was going to the main board. Lol. Silly me. Must be mommie brain.

  38. I love this! And am glad to note I’ve been able to do 5 of the 7! The only thing I would add is to see as much of the world as possible while you have no “responsibilities” 🙂

  39. 7 Things you WILL do when your single:

    1)Cry a lot

    2)masterbait

    3)masterbait

    4)masterbait

    5)masterbait

    6)Eat junk food

    7)masterbait

  40. There are lots of things to enjoy when you are single. Go out with friends, bask in the sun or the beach, play games (if you are addicted to computer games or physical games, etc.), go sight-seeing, have some family time (with parents, relatives if you are close). Being single is not that bad. 🙂

  41. Taste all types of foods in different restaurants all over the country,
    Go to hotels, beautiful places with friends, Go to night clubs,
    Save some money and invest them,
    If you feel bad being single anytime try alcohol.
    Time, money, freedom all yours!

  42. I love this! I spent 24 years married to a narcissistic person and now that he has walked out to be with his girlfriend I find single life very enjoyable. You know I hear and read how people are lonely, and I get that some are, but this hasn’t even come into play for me. I have a few people, family included that tell next time around it will be different. The next man I marry will be different, that they aren’t all like my first and all I tell them back is no way. I enjoy my life the way it is. Single doesn’t necessarily mean loneliness.Alone means isolated, and I am not isolated nor do I isolate myself. From the list above there is only a couple that I haven’t done. One biggie is I have never lived alone. I left home straight into marriage. So I am enjoying that single part of me more than anything. Absolutely love it! I can do whatever I want and don’t have to be accountable to anyone but me. I have been out of the country with him, but someday hope to make that an experience on my own.Being single to me is unique, it means I am whole;that I don’t depend on other people to make me somebody.More than anyone, I am sure, wanted to hear. But doing the above list should be what everyone does before they decide to marry. Seriously!

  43. i appreciate the post and enjoyed the read, however i feel the target audience is for a younger genre. i am 34 and a full time single mother of one amazing 8 year old boy. i am a part time employee completely independent for going on 4 years now… i wonder if you have any advice for the single parents?

    • Age has nothing to do with it, but having a child can hinder some of these suggestions. I say you can do 1 of two things, 1. Find a baby sitter., or 2. Do all these things with your son. You’ll be the coolest mom on the block and it will help shape your son into a well rounded young man starting at a young age. Especially if you’re a single mom. If you can’t afford it you don’t have to do an expensive trip. Groupon and other saving websites are great for vacation deals. Or just take a road trip! Drive or get on a grey hound bus.

      • My mom used to take me on road trips out of state whenever she could and those are some of my best memories. But the places aren’t what made the memories so special. Being with my mom and brothers was.

        My suggestion is to spend lots of leisure time with your son. Take him somewhere you’ve both never been before, even if it’s just a 20 minute drive away.

  44. Use the joys of Google and Youtube to learn diy’s around the house. With no one to help you when your thermostat goes out or you have to adjust or take apart your satellite dish, you’d better learn to do it yourself! And, when you do…..wow! What a thrill! You grow stronger with each and every accomplishment!

  45. To be fair most of these suggestions are for people who are single without children who have extra money to spend 🙂

    • yea, especially the quitting your job one…in this economy I would not recommend doing that unless you absolutely HAVE to and have another to fall back on. It’s no fun having no money

  46. YES YES YES! Couldn’t agree more. Being alone also helps ensure that we don’t settle for mediocrity. I freaking love your blog!!!! PREACH ON!

  47. Boom! Once again, this blog makes me smile! I can check off 1. 2. 3. 6. 7. Oh man, 7- you are a tough one! A good chunk of my pals are married and I have not really had a chance to hang with the couples together. On the to -do! 5. Oh- when I have the means (saving and planning!) I have a few buds that wanna travel through Europe. & you nailed it with numba 3! It’s chaos but so good & you learn a lot about yourself and your dependence (every single sec) on God.

    from you- “Life is about community, food, faith, travel, relationships, and love. Not just marriage.” Amen!

  48. One more thing!

    In college I remember several teachers going around class asking the students what they wanted to do career wise & I said the usual (FBI agent, dolphin trainer) etc. & once or twice I said that I just wanted to work with people- love people. A lot of heads turned but it’s true, it seems to all boil down to loving people, wherever you are! You’ve blessed me by your words on this blog and desire to be honest in life and keep positive. I sort of felt like I was loosing it but sweet little reminders like this blog are wonderful. Thank you my friend, Dale!

  49. This is a very wonderful article i like it not because am single but because after reading this i see more to life than thinking about him cus he hurt me soo bad .we dont have to waste time on things that does not matter focus on God and leave the rest for him……. i love this.

  50. thanks i needed this and am doing these things.

    *LOVE YOURSELF, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.. earn that old and real you back|! we can’t and shouldnt deny that we changed while we were in a relationship because we needed to adjust for our partner. now that he is gone and most likely scarred you. its time to gain yourself again. the real you.

    *LIST DOWN WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN LIFE, IN A RELATIONSHIP, OR IN A GUY. this will help you focus and be happy in the future. becasue it leads you where you wanted to be when you constantly remind yourself of what you really want and this will help you stop to hop from one job or boyfriend to another.

  51. Go to a movie alone. It’s nice to go to a movie during the day alone, you really get a chance to form your own opinions about the plot and other characters without friends or significant others interjecting.

  52. Read a good book! Form your own opinions about the plots, the characters and also reflect on what you take from reading the book. There are a lot of great books that have interesting morals and life lessons in which you can take and apply to your life!

  53. I posted as guest as a reply by mistake. I guess I can’t remove it.

    Anyway

    I was single and childless throughout my 20’s. I found it annoying that people kept telling me that I needed to be with someone. I’ve done many things but I didn’t leave this country. I wish I did though. I now have 2 young kids and in my 30s. Other things to do would be taking yourself to high class restaurants. By yourself a fancy expensive meal. Eat at the bars of restaurants too. No one is gonna be whispering or making faces at you there. 😉

    And who said you had to sleep on a bed? With your head facing the headboard? Sleep sideways, upside down, in the buff etc. Oh, all of this is assuming you live alone. Go out and eat at a diner at 2 am. watch the fun bar crowd come in.

    Many other things too….

    To me, I don’t see the point in needing a mate all the time. My brain sometimes wants to go back to Miss Independent. It was fun. Enjoy it ladies. You don’t need a man to make you happy!! Be solo for a great deal of time. Be proud!

  54. I’m single and in my 20s and I am constantly getting pressure from people asking if I’m seeing anyone and they are shocked when I say no and I don’t want to date anyone right now. My life is changing rapidly and I’m using that to learn more about myself. I don’t need the distraction of someone else at this time. I love this article! It is exactly now I feel about life right now! Thank you so much for sharing!

    • I would hate having people nag me! My dad is the opposite of that. He says I can’t get married until I’m 30 or have a PhD, whichever is later, lol!

  55. Thank you so much for sharing !! God continues to work through me and this article is definitely a confirmation of what He want for me right now. I’ve jumped from relationship to relationship, having two kids and haven’t been married. I’ve been through some things in life and I am very happy to say that GOD has done even GREATER things in my life. Thank you for this article… Even with kids, I know it’s never too late to do these things ! Thank you and God bless!!!!

    *for some reason, I can only post as a guest*

  56. I’m married for 10 years now, but looking back to when I was single you are so right! I’m glad I enjoyed my time as single and sometimes looking forward on Hubbie is traveling alone for some days! I enjoy stay up late at night beeing on my own, reading or whathing movies. But also I’m happy when hubbie is back home! 🙂

  57. Go to a fancy restaurant and treat yourself. It’s not weird it actually shows a lot of confidence!

  58. i loved reading the points you made about traveling alone. I have wanted to do that for several years now. Just to see if I can do it. I have been abroad with groups before, but I would like to live abroad and manage my way. I am a fairly independent person. Not sure what’s holding me back. Money, practicality? I want it to be God’s timing too.
    Anyway, great article! And I agree, marriage is not the only thing that matters; not the end to all things.

  59. I love this site, but this article in particular – I left my job a year ago and I am working on changing profession because I was no longer happy. My boyfriend cheated after a year, so I am taking the next 6 months without looking to date to focus on me (without feeling self indulgent). I’ve changed my diet and exercise and I am spending less time with my party friends. I go to the cinema alone, I eat out alone. I travelled to Australia alone a few years ago.

    It makes me realise quite how much I have actually already done independently…maybe I’m in a better place than I realised – I just needed to something to help me recognize this. Thank you.

  60. Thank you so much for the article! I actually do things on my own most of the time but it’s something I never embraced! I always get annoyed when people ask me when I’m going to be in a relationship; yet I felt pressured too. After reading this article I got a different perspective and will start embracing being single and doing things by myself. Things like eating breakfast alone I wouldn’t normally do it just seemed weird but now I think I can 🙂 It’s truly important to be single and whole… Thank you once again!

  61. First time reading this blog. Thank you so much. I also believe is nice to feel this singleness and that God put this aerticle for me to read it. Going out for a run!

  62. So pleased to finally discover this useful positive-thinking blog! Back to the point, one may get singleness as a ‘solo regime’ while for others it is a complete isolation that is eating you and leads to a moody-broody lifestyle. It might be helpful to just be confindent in your own kind or norm, but whichever you choose remember do not harm anyone or be harmful to yourself, let it be a worthy choice. Life is changing, so are you. To be more practical, try to embrace all you can’t change at the moment but never give it away for nothing. Get yourself a tasty piece of what you like every day: read a book or an article like this to fuel your mind with some ideas that may veer towards suprisingly good ones of your own. All starts with a mind, and so it must be clear and clean. Thank you!

  63. Don’t quit your job! Not in these times! Not unless you have another one right away. And especially if you have a foreign trip planned. It costs about $1000 to fly to Scotland, which is what I would like to do, but I can’t bc I did quit my job, THREE years ago to pursue another company that wound up closing after six months and have been unable to be employed since then.

    • I agree with you about not quitting your job! Sounds like a luxury only those who are trust-fund babies are able to do. The job market is no joke, so it’s much easier said than done when it comes to quitting, especially if you have rent due every month.

  64. I haven’t being single for one year until today 🙁 I feel so different and kinda lonely tho /- wat can I do that make me more happy and excitement?

    • I’ve been with the same guy almost 18 years and been married to him for 13 years. We are filling for divorce. The first thing I did was plan a trip even if I didn’t have the money to go. I made it happen. I left with 35$ and I went on hiking trips and camp. I had to get out and get away to figure out who I really was and I fell in love with the outdoors. Yes it was scary at first but the more I did it it got easier. I’m happy with who I am now and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Sometimes you just need to pack up and go.

  65. I have been truly single for almost 2 years and its wonderful!!! I have so much time to do whatever I want to do. Took a trip to Colorado for my birthday, go out with whatever friend I feel like going out with. No rules or complaining from anyone about what time I’m coming home or who I’m out with….just loving life right now!!

  66. I would say when you are single is the best time to make so many opposite sex friendships and connections with interesting people. Because when you are single you can approach anyone and make a connections during your night outs and even during the day time. I made most of the connections friends that way during my days in West Midlands and in London. Amazing article that should be read by every single person on earth.

  67. I find it hard to not want to be single when I have ALWAYS been single. I have never felt what it’s like to feel the love from another. I am the type who does not like to give up until they get what they want and this is why I cannot seem to stop looking for my other half.

    • Then this article applies to you more than you may realize, Stephanie. Fast from the idea of finding a person to be with romantically and finding your “other half.” The best and most successful, strong relationships I know are built from two whole people coming together. Bring you -all of you- as a whole to another whole person and you’ll be amazed at what you welcome into your life.

      • My grandmother always said “The right man comes around only when you don’t need him.” That was true for me.

  68. I like what you said:

    You’re never more ripe for self-reflection than when you’re on your own — and the more you know yourself, the more likely you are to find someone who’s right for the real you.
    Thank you for positive insightful guidance.

  69. Good article! I would only add that it is the best time to make friends, especially those of the opposite sex. 🙂

  70. I wish I had of had this great advise when I was in my senior year of high school. It would have been perfect for me. It’s okay though because I have a 19 year old daughter that can do these things. The way I see it, the only big thing that will hold one back…first things first, you have to have finances for food, lodging, etc.
    Plan A – Hit the lottery
    Plan B – Hit the grandparents, parents, godparents, uncles, aunts, cousins up for $! lol
    Plan C – werk, werk, werk, and save yo’ money honey! 😀

    Definitely will share the points you have made with all my YOUNG single friends. They truly don’t get that this is some of the best years of their life. I’ll share it with some of my older single friends too. We are never to old to learn..

  71. Very good article! I’m single for more than 3 years (with 2 kids) but I have done already 1, 3, 4, 6, 7. The second I haven’t done because I’m a job-seeker.
    But I have to agree to the fullest: you can never know/understand yourself, your character, your true colors to the depths until you do not stay alone for minimal 2-3 months. I would highly recommend to everyone to stay alone for a couple of months, but I think a lot of people are struggling in very bad relationships because they are afraid to stay alone with themselves and face their own personality.

    • Article is gud but not helpful for me. I m married n have a kid but still alone. I dont have any hobby to put myself busy.M Homemaker left with no money to make foreign trips. I dont have any friends. M mentally so weak n into pain coz of lonliness.

      • been there… start exercising, all the time, build yourself back up.. start working. your schedule, figure it out…don’t let your kid think this is life. trust me, worst mistake ever.

      • Sara I know exactly what you mean. Marriage was the loneliest point in my life. When he ditched me and our three very young kids for a younger girl ( I was 28!). I am still adrift. And I am not the person who needs another person to define me! I do send my good wishes to you. Don’t resign. Take care.

  72. Hello, I absolutely loved your article! 🙂 It was wonderfully insightful and informative! I have been thinking about planning a solo trip, I just can’t decide where and when.. You know the feeling.. I have even gone for three months without dating.. actually, more than three, but that’s beside the point. I am so glad you wrote it in such a charming and warm way! thanks again.

  73. Well I would love to quit my job and just be a college student who doesn’t “work”. How would I go about that???

    • See how no one replied to your question?? That’s because no one wanted to lie or tell the truth. Don’t do that. Reduce hours yes. Quit job and have no income but a steady flow of bills? No. Please seek God for guidance bt don’t just quit.

      • I had a horrible boss and quit my job two years ago with no job lined up. It was disastrous. I was denied unemployment benefits for voluntarily resigning and had no income for 9 months. I would do it differently second time around & not just quit because I was not happy.

        • I also quit my job. But I thought trought it first. I wasn’t enjoying it anymore and knew that it had to end eventually for me to seek for something new and better. So, I saved money, a lot, before quitting, then I quit, moved away from my hometown, seek for a new job in a big city and found it within two months! A lot of people told me that I wouldn’t find a job fast, because there was none, and it was hard, etc etc etc… and I found it in two months. And I’m happier that I have ever been.
          So, stop whining about how bad your job is but how much you need it, and start saving money to go and do whatever you want to do!

  74. Hello every one, here is an easy way without any delay to get your

    travelling passport and visa,incase you want to travel to any part of

    the country in the word and it will be deliverd to you at your door

    step. kindly contact Mr john through call him with is number

    +2348112060028..

  75. A little about 6 months ago, I ran into this article. I chose and decided to implement some of those points in my life. Needless to say, I moved out and got my own apartment. I love the idea of tranquility and peace. I traveled to Costa Rica by myself which was simply amazing, I was able to surf and simply relax on the beach for a few days. Whenever I feel that I’m not making enough money to provide, I simply remember that I’m on my own and it is the only mouth I have to worry about feeding. I haven’t dated anyone for over 3 months and this has actually helped me realize that there are a lot of things in my life that I need to take care of and actually begin to start doing so I can become that person who someone wants to date. Wonderful article and I’m sure within time I will be implementing more of those points in my life.

    • Costa Rica is simply perfect for this. Hahahaha… I’ve lived here for about 8 years. It’s beautiful and perfect place to try to survive on your own!!

  76. I’ve been single for all my life and I’m loving it. People tell me to get a boyfriend but I’m like “I’m perfectly fine with my own company” I don’t need someone else to make me happy. I want to be defined by myself. Not by someone else.

    • I hate hate hate being single ! I did everything in this article before I ever read it, so it came along at the wrong time . I will admit that nobody’s ready to get married until they’ve gone for at least three years without a girlfriend / boyfriend, taken a trip that your marriage partner might not want to take, and do all the things your marriage partner might not want you to do . This isn’t permission to sin by any means . You can’t do these three years when you’re in school, either . These three years can’t begin until you’re out of college .

  77. i found this a very interesting article, we must discover ourselves first, we must live first before sharing our lives, after that it will be much more mature and solid,

  78. dance at the front right by the band, not caring if anyone’s dancing with you or not! sooo freeing to groove and not feel like you need a partner or a best friend to have a good time–scary but so much fun!

  79. Being Single really sucks for many of us Good men and women out there hoping and praying to find Love these days which has become very Difficult for many of us.

  80. I am soon to be married 30 years to my best friend. This would not have been possible if I had not discovered WHO I AM before committing to marriage. That does not mean I had to be single for a very long time. To me it meant I needed to experience things on my own before sharing everything with someone else. This allowed me to add to the relationship, rather than take on someone else’s life. I had to find out how I would react to challenges in life without a partner in order to be a better partner.
    Once I entered into the marriage vow I knew who I was and what I was capable of on my own, so I could lean on my partner for love and support, not necessarily to survive.
    Single people should never be afraid to fall in love (not to be confused with sex). Build your life while keeping your heart open to love when it finds you. Find the person you can not live without while discovering who you are today.

  81. Being single i think its the best solution cause ive bn hurt many times.n nw m done with guys.until only GOD knws wen!

  82. Great at younger age … at 60+ being single and male is NO good.
    Marriage or committed relationship is the better way.

    If single at 60+, find out what is wrong and sabatoging a relationship. You don’t have “give it a few years” … a year at 60+ is like 5-7 years at 35.

    Resolve to quit making excuses for not being in a relationship. There is something wrong – fix it.

Comments are closed.