5 Questions Everyone Should Ask On A First Date

I have a fascination with relationships. I believe they're the foundation to a meaningful life. At times, we forget how it all starts. A question? Would you like to go out with me?

Questions are powerful. They are the catalyst on life's journey. They cause change, action, fear, excitement, and possibility. A first date is more than two people meeting – it's possibly the beginning of a completely different life. Therefore, the questions we ask during this special time become even more important.

First Date Questions

Here are 5 questions I believe everyone should ask on a first date:

Who has been the biggest influence in your life?

This will allow you to understand what type of character your date finds significant. Is it a parent, a friend, an author, or even a religious figure? Their answer will help you understand how they define “influence” but more importantly, it will provide clues to the type of person they will likely become in the future.

Who is your best friend? What do you like about him/her?

Dig deep here. The word “best” implies one. Who is the one person they enjoy most? Do they make them laugh? Do they push them to chase their dreams? Whatever it is, this answer will give you a direct path to the heart of your date. Remember, long-term relationships are not built on looks, but friendship. So ultimately, you're finding out what it takes to one day, become their best friend.

What’s your biggest goal in life right now?

Finding out what drives your date will give you a look into your future if you choose to move forward. Are they career focused? Do they want to be married? Do they want to travel? Incredible compatibility can occur when two people share similar goals.

What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about?

You don't know what you don't know. This question could do two things: It could tell you something amazing about your date which might have taken months to uncover. Or, it could tell you exactly what you needed to hear to know that a second date, is a waste of time.

Have you figured out your calling in life? What is it?

This question is aimed at the future. What are they most passionate about? Where will they spend most of their time? What's most important to them? These answers will provide clarity to help you define the potential depth of your future relationship.

Do you know of any great questions? Tweet us.

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20 Responses

  1. This is perfect for me! I have a 1st date tonight! I already covered some of these in the preliminary round, and let me say, so far so good! I will be asking some of these though!

  2. I’m not going to lie, if someone started bringing out “what are your goals, what is your calling’ on a very first date, it would feel like a job interview. How could you relax in that type of environment?

    1. You know, I think it depends on how you ask? Sure… if you ask like an interview you’re going to come off like a freak. But if you just keep these in the back of your mind and slowly drop each one as you best see fit, you’ll be fine.

  3. This might be a little related to number five. But in meeting someone on a first date or in general, I ask them, “What makes your heart sing?” It’s not too much of a job interview question, it just lets me know (if they are willing to share with me) what drives them and what is the foundation of their thoughts, motivations, etc. It’s a very sincere question that can evoke a sincere response.

  4. On a first date I usually ask them what their happiest memory is in life. It opens up the conversation for stories from the past and is always fun to listen!

  5. great questions. Here are some I’ve used.
    What would you do if you know you couldn’t fail? (fear of failing stops people doing things)

    If you didn’t need money, what would you do as a ‘job’?
    When are you in the ‘zone’ (when you are your best self, feeling really alive) who are you with, and what are you doing?

    All I need now is a date!

  6. If someone asked me ALL five of these questions on a first date, I’d walk out. One. .. maybe. But all of these? Jesus.

  7. Good pop psych question. Looking back at your childhood, what was your favorite fairy tale or folk story.

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