Addiction is Real. Here’s How to Beat It

Have you known an addict or been an addict? Are you an addict now?

Unfortunately, addictions come with the human condition. We’ve got alcoholics, drug addicts, sex addicts, workaholics, self-mutilators, and more. You name it, our culture has found it and become addicted to it.

Addiction is defined as anything we do repeatedly that causes harm to ourselves and/or others. The underlying driver to addiction is a general dissatisfaction with your life, your self-image, or identity. In extreme cases, an intense self-hatred and a sense of hopelessness and despair are the foundations of addiction.

Are you saying to yourself right now, “I can’t think of anything I’m addicted to”? Well, I’d say to you, “Come on. We’re all addicted to something.” If you don’t think that’s true of you, look through this list with me. Are you addicted to:

  • Achievement – Always needing to perform to feel valuable
  • Self-Pity – Constant feeling of “poor me” and “life is unfair”
  • Worry – A consistent lack of peace
  • Drinking – You need a drink to be happy, sleep, or feel connected to people
  • Being Busy – If you're alone or still, you feel depressed or lonely
  • Sex – You can't stop viewing porn, quit masturbating , or view the others without sexual thoughts.
  • Social Media – You're constantly connected to your phone or computer, ignoring the people right in front of you
  • Gambling – A need to take risk, make money, and feel valued from winning
  • Self-Sabotage – You can't hold on to a relationship, you screw up great opportunities, and you can't allow yourself to succeed.

Yes, you can be addicted to so-called positive things such as achievement. Take it from one who knows. In my life, I’ve struggled with a serious addiction to being busy and achievement. Achievement became a part of my identity. I started 6 businesses within 8 years producing over $15 million in revenue. But I didn’t know who I was apart from outside praise and achievement. My addiction to work and achievement linked directly with a general dissatisfaction, if not, a downright dislike for who I was. I thought that my identity and worth was based solely in what I accomplished instead of who I was.

The bottom line is this: we all just want to be loved. We want to feel loved. We all deserve love. We starve for connectivity and depth, but we’re seriously scared and often times, lack the basic relational ability to reach out and get it.

So, if you had to choose something, what would you say you’re addicted to? Think about your thoughts for the day. Are there patterns? Ruts? Are there places in your mind that you continue to visit and obsess over during each 24-hour period?

What are they? Be brave and write them down. Let's begin the healing process.

Now I want you to listen to me here. You deserve better. You deserve more. You were created for awe and purpose. You were created to love and be loved. The things that grip you don’t have to strangle the life out of you. There is hope and there is a way out.

Today begin telling yourself the opposite of the lies in your head. Begin practicing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. Tell a trusted friend about your addiction. Reach out. Call a group. Don’t wait. This is your life we’re talking about.

You deserve normal. You deserve love, balance, joy, peace, and success. Go after it.


This blog post was written by an independent guest contributor.
Author Name: D Patridge.

Addiction is Real. Here\'s How to Beat It

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70 Responses

  1. I am in love with an addict. It is such a roller coaster and I don’t know what to do. He has lied to me several times about taking pills. Xanax is the big problem. I don’t know if I am supposed to stick through this with him as he continues to break the trust or if I need to let him go on his own and try to figure out his own shit. It kills me each time I find out he did it. It’s like he’s stabbing me in the heart. I am sure I have addictions of my own. Addicted to trying to be perfect, addicted to beating myself up because I never can achieve perfection, addicted to over eating, addicted to hating myself for eating, addicted to overanalyzing, addicted to worrying about those I love. I was bulimic all through out middle school and high school and if it were not for him I still would be today. we started dating at 16 after being best friends growing up and are now 23. I have made huge mistakes in our past and he wanted to stay with me and work through it with me and we did. I am at a loss. I want to do what is best for him and me both but his actions are making me feel worthless like he feels he can do whatever he wants and I’ll still be here. It doesn’t seem like the answer… I don’t know what to do.

    1. I think if you’re already in a committed relationship you should stick through it. For better or for worse. Especially since he helped you overcome one of your own addictions. I’m not the best at giving relationship advice as I’m barely into my first, but I’ve seen quite a few successful relationships and quite a few that fail. But if he helped you when you, I don’t doubt that you could help him. I would strongly consider seeking some sort of drug therapy for your husband and remember that addictions can be tough to overcome, but if the two of you fight it hand in hand rather than allowing it to hurt you, it will strengthen your relationship. Hope my totally amateurish advice is helpful. I will be praying for you both.

  2. I have an addiction to masturbation, probably sex, self-pity, procrastination and things which relatively leaving me feel so depressed and full of self-hatred. This is the first time I actually write these down and say them our loud to myself, and I feel so ashamed. We sometimes fail to ask for help when we think about what people might say. At times I wake up feeling as though “today is the day of great change” and by the time my day is done, I forgot I woke up with a positive outlook on my life. As a Christian, this has taken a toll on my faith, but I still believe that God has taken preference, and we shall overcome. We have to want to change.

  3. Can’t let go of my narcissistic ex. It’s a mental fight I am unable to put into words. When you’re supposedly intelligent and know better and yet addicted to a person that you know is not good for you in all ways, it makes me question myself : ( Been doing loads of research though and getting therapy to get on with my life.

  4. I’m addicted to my narcissistic ex. I can’t stop thinking about him. I tell myself to stop, but thoughts of him keep popping up. I started seeing a councillor…no progress yet, but I keep telling myself ‘slowly but surely.’

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